How to maintain a relationship even when the passion cools down

Behavioral research is, in general, fascinating. And one of the latest and most curious discoveries in this regard is that our feelings and how they influence a relationship are genetically programmed and conditioned by biochemical processes. No matter how hard you fight to hold on to a crush, at some point our body just can’t handle it. — at least that’s what some research shows.

We decided to move forward on the question of why passion ends and how to save a relationship when the ‘love hormones’ stop working.

Some scientists believe that the euphoria caused by falling in love has similarities with the feelings experienced by drug addicts after a good dose. It was the neuroscientists Andreas Bartels and Semir Zeki, from University College, London, who reached this conclusion.

This effect happens because the brain and adrenal glands of a passionate person produce the hormone noradrenaline. The same hormone is produced after consuming drugs such as heroin or cocaine. A passionate person feels dependent on encounters with the object of passion because he wants to feel the same euphoria again. As with any drug.

When we are in love, chemical processes occur in our brain that do not allow us to perceive the other person’s defects. We feel only fullness in her presence, as well as emotional dependence. Hormones play an important role in this process.

Oxytocin is responsible for emotional attachment and contributes to the development of a deep emotional connection between lovers. If this hormone is produced in sufficient quantity, the stress level decreases and physical attraction becomes more intense. Vasopressin is the happiness hormone. It is responsible for fidelity in the other person, for the desire to care for each other and, like oxytocin, for the formation of emotional attachment. Dopamine is the pleasure hormone. Its secretion contributes to feelings of pleasure. This hormone is responsible for euphoria and appears especially when we eat or when we are physically close to the person. Serotonin is responsible for the ability to experience pleasure, improves mood and quality of sex life. Cortisol is the stress hormone. According to studies carried out, it practically disappears at the beginning of a relationship. Addiction to ‘love chemistry’ is also affected by the presence of pheromones. They are released by the sweat glands in both men and women and act on receptors in the olfactory system, sexually arousing the other person.

This ‘hormonal cocktail’ leads to a series of physiological reactions in the passionate person, such as increased sweating, palpitations, pupil dilation, sleep and appetite disorders.

Biological laws are implacable: what we feel when we are in love is just a short-term chemical process that lasts a maximum of 3 years.

Passion needed to exist so that humanity could reproduce. Furthermore, it allowed a couple to stay together for the sake of their child’s survival. After about 3 years, with the eldest son, the passion ended. Believe me, we are hostages of nature and its genetic programming.

After 3 years, nerve endings become insensitive to hormone production. They are produced in smaller quantities, the work of the brain normalizes, and hormones cease to stimulate emotional dependence on each other.

The period of strong passion is a kind of stress and an extreme condition for the body. But as great as it is to feel that emotion, almost no one can handle living it for decades on end. Much better for our organism is to maintain a more relaxed rhythm. When the ‘hormonal cocktail’ stops working true love happens.

Scientists have discovered that the feeling of attachment, which makes people want to move in together, is related to the hormones oxytocin and vasopressin. The level of oxytocin increases when two people hug, make love, kiss, or simply talk in low voices over dinner.

Therefore, we can conclude that affection is a safe and at the same time pleasant way to maintain a long-term relationship. In addition, the ability to listen, express gratitude, overcome conflicts and grow together also helps to keep the flame burning.