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How to help your child understand their emotions?

One of the main tasks of parents and teachers is to educate children in the knowledge and management of emotions. To help us, we have very specific strategies. Do you want to know them?

Written and verified by the psychologist Elena Sanz.

Emotional education is one of the most important tasks that parents and educators must carry out with the little ones, and knowing how to properly deal with one’s own and others’ moods is essential to achieving well-being and success. However, explaining emotions to children can be complicated, since they are subjective and personal experiences.

Many adults still find it uncomfortable to deal with negative emotional states. When a child expresses rage, anger, sadness or frustration, our automatic reaction is to try to silence him or change him into a more positive mood.. However, this is not always the most appropriate; In fact, what we do is miss valuable opportunities to talk to the child about what is happening inside. How to proceed then?

Why is it important to explain emotions to children?

Emotions are part of us and understanding them will open the doors to well-being. Emotional education must begin in early childhood. By understanding emotions, children will be able to know themselves. Explaining emotions to children is essential to manage them without avoiding or exaggerating them. Some of the benefits obtained when emotions are explained are:

Allow the child to get to know himself.Increase the perception of control over what happens to you.It is fundamental for social development.Decreases aggressive behaviors.Reduces the possibilities of consuming addictive substances, such as alcohol and tobacco.Minimizes the percentage of antisocial behaviorself-destructive and avoids the serious damage caused by them.

It is important to note that the child must learn to express his emotions depending on the moment, the people and the occasion.

How to explain emotions to children

Give them a name

When explaining emotions to children, It is best to do it in a practical way. and integrated into everyday life. Firstly, because they do not yet have the cognitive development necessary to understand theoretical explanations in depth – in the abstract world or with delayed examples they do not handle themselves very well; but, also, because emotions have a subjective part associated with each moment and its particular circumstances.

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Nevertheless, On a delayed basis we can work to expand your emotional vocabulary. That is, make them aware of the wide range of emotional states that exist and help them name them. Due to their young age, we often limit ourselves to using generic words like “good” and “bad” to talk about how we feel. However, let us not forget that language is the basis of thoughts; thus, If they do not have enough words to designate the different internal states, it will be more difficult for them to understand and manage them.

So, to carry out this task We can use tools such as the emotionary, where numerous emotions are specifically described.. It is also important that we as adults begin to use different words to refer to our feelings and those of the children. Feeling “bad” can encompass sadness, disappointment, frustration, fear… Let’s start using the right words.

Fun and natural

To explain emotions to children, it is not necessary to sit them at a desk and have them fill out cards. Play and fun are always the best tools to transmit ideas, values ​​and knowledge. So in this case We can use your favorite stories and movies to identify the emotions of your characters and understand where they come from.. While we read or watch television with them we can comment on what is happening, ask them questions and make observations regarding what each character is feeling and why.

The game is also an excellent activity to introduce these concepts. During the game, children display their own inner world and play to experience various realities through the stories and “experiences” of their toys. So, If we play with them we can talk to them about the emotions that arise from different situations. For example: “the doll is excited because she is going to the beach” or “she is disappointed because her friend has not invited her to the party.”

Setting an example, the best way to explain emotions to children

Let us not forget that children learn mainly by imitation and that their main references are their parents. Therefore, for a child, the best way to learn to regulate their emotions comes from the way their parents express and manage them. Often, we tend to hide our emotional states from the little ones, with the intention of avoiding their worries. However, It is positive that they see us feel and manage the feeling, since it is something completely human and natural.

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Games to explain emotions to children

We must take advantage of every opportunity to help children recognize and express their emotions. If it is reserved, it is useful that we use simple methods that facilitate communication and are fun. Next, we will offer you several games so that you can explain emotions to a child.

1. Emotional Guignol

Write different emotions on a deck of cards (the ones you specifically want to work on). Then, choose a character and three cards at random from the deck and act out a story that contains that emotion. This game will encourage the recognition and expression of emotions in the child.

2. Detective of emotions

To regulate emotions it is necessary to identify them, so look for different people in a magazine, on the internet or in stories. Together, you and the child, try to guess what emotional state these characters have in a specific situation. Afterwards, each one must propose the causes that have led them to feel this way and what that character could do to feel better.

3. Musical pieces

Music is a resource that children really like and they will quickly be delighted with the game. Select different melodies: slow, fast, monotonous… After listening to them, invite the child to think about what emotion it aroused in him and to describe a situation that that music evoked in them and draw it.

4. The composer

Compose with the child different songs that correspond to a specific emotion. They can also make choreography to accompany you if you like to dance. Ask: “If we were to write a song about joy or sadness, what would it sound like?”

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5. Emotion diary

For children over 6 years old who find it difficult to express their emotions, having a diary in which to capture them can be useful. This way, you will not feel pressured to tell your feelings, but little by little you will be encouraged to express them freely.

To end, If you are a father or mother, work first on your emotional intelligence, so that you can be the best possible role model for your children. Express yourself assertively, learn to manage your own emotional states and be empathetic with the feelings of others, especially those of your children.

Without a doubt, this will be the most effective and humane way for them to learn to relate to what they and those around them feel. A skill that It will open many doors for them in the future and, above all, it will help them to be happier..

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All cited sources were reviewed in depth by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, validity and validity. The bibliography in this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.

Barrett, L.F., Mesquita, B., Ochsner, K.N., & Gross, J.J. (2007). The experience of emotion. Annual review of psychology, 58, 373.Capote-Calvo, E. (2016). The emotionary of stories (Bachelor’s thesis). Salguero, MJC (2011). Importance of emotional intelligence as a contribution to the comprehensive development of children in early childhood education. Magna Pedagogy, (11), 178-188.

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