How to give good advice?

Maybe you know the phrase that says “I sell advice that I don’t have for myself”. The Spanish proverb tells us about that old custom of wanting to give advice to others on any topic, even if the other neither needs it nor has asked for it.

So, It is common to meddle in other people’s livesimplying that we would know, without hesitation, what should be done instead of the person to whom we gave the advice.

Our intentions may be the best in the world, that is not up for debate, but before releasing a torrent of advice Maybe we should think about whether the other person is interested in what we have to say, or if we really have all the information that allows us to put ourselves exactly in their place.

Can I give you an advise?

If you don’t want to end a long-standing friendship, cause a problem with a family member, or be misunderstood by your co-worker, You need to rationalize the amount of advice you serve.

Look for calm, it is a good ally if you want the message to be received with a receptive attitude

Listening is one of the qualities that you must sow if you then want to garner a reputation as a good advisor. That is the only way to have the best information. Ask what is happening to him, how he feels, what he thinks, what he has decided to do and with all that data you can develop various solutions that serve and add value.

Have you put yourself in his shoes before advising him? Don’t forget that there is a very fine line that separates a positive (constructive) recommendation from a negative (destructive) one. To know if you exceed the limits, Put yourself in that person’s shoes and imagine how you would feel. if you were listening to the message you want to share.

It would be good if you did not indicate actions that you would not do in the same situation either.. Assess the distance that exists between the saying and the fact and think about whether it can be bridged in the situation and with the capabilities of the person to whom you want to give the advice.

Advice or silence?

problemIf you really aren’t sure what the best decision you could make is, admit it.

Silence is worth gold and before blurting out cliché phrases like: “that’s life”, “you have to move on” or “at least you’re healthy”… seal your lips. A good way to show your support and your commitment to helping is to wait for the other person to ask you a question like, “And what would you do?”

How to give good advice

You should not forget that giving advice is establishing a close relationship. It is not simply giving an opinion, but indicating that you are going to help in whatever is necessary.

When something bad happens, there are thousands who give their point of view, but really There are very few who support unconditionally and they continue alongside us on this arduous path. Logically, the first is easy and the second is more complicated.

In order to work together and find a solution you can use a technique called “Maieutics”. used by Socrates. Thanks to this process, the other person is “illuminated” with a kick-off type question. Through this query you can begin and progress until it is completely answered.

Finally, Remember not to judge who has received your advice. If you have not done it, it is not that you are a bad person or that you have not taken it into account, but that you have simply considered that it was not the best.

Before you think that he is an inconsiderate person, thinks that he is an independent and capable personlike you, to listen and then make your own decisions.

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