How to end self-destructive behaviors?

Self-destructive behaviors are all those actions that we carry out against our physical and/or mental health.. They do not necessarily have to be violent actions, they can be excessive consumption of drugs, alcohol or food. They can also be addictions such as gambling addiction, shopping addiction, relationship addiction, etc.

Self-destructive behaviors are relentless and often difficult, but not impossible, to overcome. The right attitude is based on the willingness to change your impulses for your own benefit. and not by adjusting to your environment. The main requirement to achieve this change is to make the decision to improve ourselves.

Changing self-destructive behaviors requires certain elements that we will see below. Do you have self-destructive behaviors in your life that you overlook?

The right attitude

All the excesses and abuses towards our person are a consequence of believing ourselves responsible and guilty of something. We unconsciously consider that we deserve punishment for something we have done and we self-apply the sentence, causing harm to ourselves in some way.. Unfortunately, the punishments we impose on ourselves are often much more severe than the harm caused, if such harm actually exists.

Take your responsibility

Stop being or rather feeling like a victim and lead your life, recognizing your failures and assuming responsibility, without destroying yourself in the attempt. Go from feeling helpless to taking charge of your life. Victimization makes our path easier because it takes away the burden of our actions, but it is not healthy for any of us.

The only one who is harmed is you because of the belief that you can’t do anything to change what happens to you. She raises her head. He gets out of your comfort zone and takes responsibility for your life. You are not a victim of anything.

On many occasions we think and have the conviction that life will solve our problems. We prefer to wait sitting on the couch until one day everything is resolved. However, this is not so. As a famous phrase says: “To travel a thousand kilometers, we must take the first step”. Hence If we want to end our self-destructive behaviors, it depends solely on us.. And the first step, in many cases, may be to ask a psychology professional for help.

Delve deeper into the problem

Having the good will to stop self-destructive behaviors is not enough. Recognize what your excesses are and look for all the information you can about them. If you consider that you cannot deal with your problems alone, go to a psychologist or a coach to advise you.

Sometimes, we have been stuck in certain self-destructive behaviors for so long that we have normalized them to the point of not seeing them. The help of a therapist will allow us to realize what is in front of us, but that we cannot see.

The normalization of self-destructive behaviors can become such that not only do we not notice them, but by not realizing their presence, we suffer stress and anxiety and we are unable to identify its origin. Many people with this type of behavior claim that they feel bad but do not know how to identify the origin. It is therefore a fundamental fact learn to know ourselves and internalize ourselves.

Face reality

What is the origin of the problem? Some unsuccessful relationship, you do not consider yourself capable of facing the demands of life, you have been hurt more times than you would like to remember. Don’t avoid thinking about this, analyze everything and face it. If you don’t feel able to do it, seek help from your friends. Their vision is completely different from yours and that can be positive.

Don’t punish yourself… stop punishing yourself

What I want to say is Any of our excesses gives us pleasure, even if it is momentary.so a priori You may have the feeling that depriving yourself of that pleasure is another way of punishing yourself, which will not help your purpose much. The best thing is to think that I can drink all the alcohol I want, but I choose not to.

We have enough willpower to know what we want to do and what we don’t. It’s not that we can’t stop smoking or drinking. The thing is that in reality we do not want to do it for various reasons that must be investigated.

Lama Yeshein an analogy with chocolate, relates: “Oh no! Now I’m not happy anymore! Although certainly It is not the absence of chocolate that makes us unhappy; They are our fixed ideas.”. Lama Yeshe tried to make us understand that it is not alcohol or tobacco or any external stimulus that makes us happy, but our attachment relationship with it. Lama Yeshe continues: “All ephemeral pleasures are like that; And if the search for happiness produces emotional attachment to the world of the senses, then you will find yourself with a lot of suffering, because you have no control over the world of the senses, no control of impermanence..

However, Yeshe gives us the key: “But cheer up! There is another kind of happiness available, a deep and abiding joy of silent experience, a joy that comes from your own mind. This kind of happiness is always with you, always available. Whenever you need her, she will always be there.”. In this way, abandoning harmful behaviors is not really self-punishment, on the contrary, it is the beginning of a new path towards our happiness.

Do the opposite

A destructive behavior can be replaced by a constructive one, but never by another equally or more harmful one. To stop drinking excessively, what you should never do is overeat. As you can see, these are extremes. What you have to try is to reach a point of balance.

Have you ever caught yourself engaging in self-destructive behaviors? Have you felt like you deserved all the damage that others did to you and that you inflicted on yourself? Being aware of this and asking for help is a first step to changing this attitude. We deserve the best, if we don’t take care of ourselves and respect ourselves, no one will. Let’s learn to love ourselves as we deserve.

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