How to end a long distance relationship?

How to end a long distance relationship? Nowadays, our way of finding a partner and even keeping that bond afloat often takes place in the universe of technology. Sometimes, our love is hundreds of kilometers away, in other countries, in other cities. In case the affection fades, it is necessary to take the step and tell the other person what is happening.

We would not be wrong if we said that there are very few people who master this skill: that of saying goodbye, that of ending that bond. There are many who choose ghosting, that is, cutting off communication from one day to the next without giving an explanation. Others, however, are concise and blunt, those who do not hesitate to leave brief messages such as “We left it”, “I don’t love you anymore” or “our thing is over.”

Properly ending an emotional relationship is not only a matter of principles, respect and moral sense. Doing it well, having that last conversation, facilitates the grieving process and helps close stages. Otherwise, if one of the parties chooses not to say anything and disappear, the suffering in the other person becomes chronic and becomes a wound that always festers.

So let’s see how to do it in the best way.

How to end a long distance relationship?

A phone call? A videocall? By FaceTime, maybe? When physical closeness is not possible, we have multiple channels at our disposal and, to the extent possible, written messages, audio messages, and even less messages left on voicemail are not valid to end a long-distance relationship.

Interaction and dialogue are necessary. Not only is it essential that we expose the reality of the situation, what we feel and what we want to do, it is also vital to let the other party have the opportunity to express themselves. You have to give a voice, allow spaces and create a close scenario despite the remoteness and delicate nature of that situation.

Let’s delve into some keys.

Don’t improvise, think first about what you are going to say and how

When taking the step to end a relationship, one must have thought it through well. We cannot improvise, it is neither correct nor mature to say that “we give ourselves some time», and then resume the relationship and leave him again. One must reflect on their feelings, their needs and their circumstances.

There are relationships that are impossible from the beginning. Others, however, are recoverable and worth fighting for. Some, for their part, always live on the tightrope, on that wire in which everything wobbles and nothing is safe.

Notify in advance

Once we have clarified how we are going to tell our partner that we want to leave the relationship, You have to notify her, arrange a specific time of day.

The best thing to do is to proceed to send you a message telling you the following «I would like to talk about something important with you tonight. Would you be available for a video call at 8pm, for example?»

Somehow, through that notice, It is very possible that the other person already puts themselves in context. The most common thing is that you experience some uneasiness and if things are already going bad in the relationship, you probably sense what is going to happen.

The three most important points: what I feel, what has led me to this decision and what I want

When ending a relationship, it is essential to have a final conversation. Whether by video call or in person, there are a series of points that we cannot ignore:

We must clarify with humility and courage what we feel: “Our thing cannot move forward, I no longer feel the same, or I think we should leave it because the only thing we achieve is hurt ourselves. I feel unhappiness…“.Next, It is necessary to explain the specific reasons that lead us to that decision.: “I think that ours has no future because we don’t communicate well, because we don’t trust each other. Our interests are very different. My feelings have changed and the most logical thing is to leave this relationship“Last but not least, We must make it clear what we want: “I want to leave this relationship. However, I hope that you are well, that you can turn the page and have a happy life.”

Listen, give the other person space, and validate their emotions.

Once we have explained to the other person what we feel, what is happening and what we want, it is time to see how our partner reacts. You have to give him space: if he wants to cry, he should. Anger, sadness, disappointment and even rage are normal reactions that should be accepted.

Don’t promise things you won’t keep

When ending a long-distance relationship, We may be tempted to say that we will meet in person later to talk about it. Now, we have to be cautious with this. Because… is that what will really happen? Is it what we want once the relationship has been left from a distance? Will it really be possible to make an appointment when possible and resume that conversation about the breakup?

Let’s not promise anything that we are not going to keep. Don’t promise that you will take a plane to visit him or her and say goodbye in person if you don’t feel it or want to. Be sincere at all times.

When ending a long-distance relationship, don’t cut off contact immediately

When a long-distance relationship ends, We can think about deleting that person from our contacts permanently. Do that social media deletion, Instagram, WhatsApp, It can undoubtedly help us move through grief without falling into the temptation of regaining contact or looking at what photos they upload in their statuses and stories.

Now, when we have maintained an emotional bond miles from each other, with technologies being the only channel that united us, it is not appropriate to cut contact at the same second. Let’s wait a couple of weeks at least.. During that time, we can receive messages from the other person necessary to settle certain issues, necessary details with which to correctly conclude that relationship.

Disappearing minutes after having broken up with your partner through a call or video call would be like doing ghosting. Let’s try to do it a few days or a few weeks later.

To conclude, ending a long-distance relationship is not easy. But when the conditions do not exist to do it face to face, we must adapt. The essential thing is to be consistent, brave and mature: If love is no longer there, if we have stopped loving that person, let’s not prolong this nonsense, this deception any longer. Let’s act in the best way.

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