How to deal with the ghost of your boyfriend’s ex

You have suddenly found the ideal man for your life. He is affectionate, romantic, has a nice chat, fills you with compliments and declarations of love. But of course almost all people have a past that involves other relationships and that’s where we come across the ex-girlfriend’s ghost.

The lost soul probably saw the cat’s happiness and decided to show up, call and send messages to remind him of his existence. Faced with this situation, any girlfriend would be angry and jealous, of course, but consider don’t let your ex get in the way of your relationship.

As a current girlfriend you shouldn’t fall for her teasing. Just worry about you and your cat and don’t answer or go talk to the ex, because without answers she will soon give up on the advances. According to the psychologist and couples therapist, Antônio Carlos Alves de Araújo, the responsibility of dealing with the ex-girlfriend is the man. “He has to manage this situation and if the person is causing problems, it is his role to talk and resolve conflicts with them”, he explains.

That doesn’t mean you have to accept every situation and keep quiet. Ideally, you open up to your partner and signal that you don’t like a certain attitude. But it is important to be clear, objective and avoid arguments. What the ex probably wants is to disrupt the relationship between you, and if, because of her, the couple starts to fight too much, the girl will achieve her goal.

When the ex in question is an ex-wife and has children with her boyfriend, you have to be even more careful, since ending her contacts is practically impossible. They will have issues to resolve almost always. Try to act naturally when this happens and make it clear to the man that he can talk openly with you about his children’s problems and his mother’s issues. This attitude, in addition to demonstrating your confidence, will make your relationship with ex is easier.

The most important tip is to trust yourself and your qualities and don’t let yourself get down if your ex gets behind your boyfriend. Remember a confident woman conveys that feeling to others. If their relationship ended because there was a problem – or a lack of feelings – then the chances of your partner wanting to get back together are almost zero.

But beware of man’s attitudes. “If he can’t get rid of ex-girlfriend, it’s probably because, somehow, you’re still involved in that relationship and not ready to start a new one”, explains the therapist. In this case it is necessary to open the game with the partner and look for a person who is really available.