How to act when faced with the indifference of a loved one?

Indifference is an attitude that we can take in situations that seem significant to us. When this attitude is directed towards us and comes from a person we appreciate, it can bother us a lot. This particular type of rejection can cause emotional distress and strain on the relationship.. Therefore, we will talk about how to act when faced with the indifference of a loved one.

This experience is more common than it seems and the reasons that can motivate rejection are several. In most cases, the problem can be solved, even improving the initial relationship. However, there are situations in which the best option might be to stop insisting.

The reasons behind the indifference

An indifferent person is someone who is apathetic and cold in the face of events. For example, if we give him a gift, he is likely to receive it without showing any type of joy or gratitude. He may even reject the gift.

Receiving this treatment from people we appreciate can have negative effects on our mood. Research by Leary (2015) pointed out that rejection in interpersonal relationships generates social anxiety, shame, guilt, jealousy, emotional pain, etc.

Therefore, it is natural that we want to understand what is happening and know how to act when faced with the indifference of a loved one. The reasons behind indifference can be very diverse. There is no exact way to guess what is happening in our relationship with each other.. Although, knowing the most frequent causes can give us an idea of ​​how to act.

Indifference on the part of a loved one can generate feelings of rejection, insecurity, shame or guilt.

Revenge or punishment

One of the characteristics of indifference is that it can be a way of attacking or punishing someone. Maybe this person feels hurt by something we did and tries to get revenge or punish us through rejection. Then, we see that he ignores us when we talk to him and does not show any reaction when we try to approach him.

Space requirement

Sometimes, we experience situations that generate many emotions in us and we need time and space to process them. In these cases, it is normal for a person to have indifferent behavior, since they focus on their feelings. After a while, you will most likely return to the same close relationship you used to have..

Handling

As we mentioned before, emotional coldness can generate stress. There are people who understand that they can benefit from inoculating a good dose of anxiety; In this case, indifference would be the injection. In this way, they make others pay attention to them and use it as a way to control them.

Weak emotional connection

Something we should know about how to act when faced with the indifference of a loved one is that it does not always have to do with us. Often, People seem distant towards people or situations with which they cannot connect on an emotional level. Maybe for you, she or he is someone special, but the other party doesn’t feel the same way.

That doesn’t mean that someone can’t love you or that you did something wrong. Maybe they don’t have enough things in common or there isn’t that “spark” that makes us feel connected to each other. In any case, it is a natural situation and we should not blame ourselves.

Keys to act when faced with the indifference of a loved one

Now, no matter what the cause of the indifference may be, it is normal that we want to repair the problem. For that reason, we will give you a series of useful recommendations to address the situation and find a solution.

1. Don’t act the same way

Often, when someone treats us with indifference, we feel attacked and are inclined to react in the same way. However, if you really want to resolve things peacefully, it is not the best strategy. If we behave distant and cold, we will most likely widen the gap. that is separating us from each other.

2. Communicate wisely

Maybe all you need is to have an open and honest conversation about your feelings. Thus, advice on how to act in the face of a loved one’s indifference is to make them understand that you are willing to talk. Leaving this window open can make the other person feel that you are interested in listening to them and come closer.

It should be noted that we must be cautious when we try to approach him or her. Perhaps at first our offer to chat will be rejected. Given this reaction, we must be careful not to be too insistent because we could cause more tension and friction.

3. Ask a third party for help

The intervention of a person close to both of you could be helpful in easing the problems between you. Think of someone who is empathetic and who could serve as a mediator in your relationship to talk to the other. The other person may feel more comfortable telling him or her what’s going on rather than telling you directly.

4. Recognize how far you can go and stay open

It is very important to learn to recognize how far we can go in this situation. If we have already tried to talk or sought someone’s help and we did not get a response, there is no reason to insist. Although it causes concern, we need to be aware that we did everything we could to find a solution.

Likewise, if it’s a connection that’s meaningful to you, you may just need to stay open. Later, this person may end up approaching you and offering you an explanation for their behavior. Remember that We cannot control the emotions, thoughts or behavior of others.

When we have already tried everything in the face of a person’s indifference and there has been no result, we must assume that we did what we could and give space or time to the other.

5. If there is no solution, think about closure

Sometimes, it may happen that there is no way to repair our relationship with the other person. It is possible that he or she has made the decision not to have contact with us again. If so, then we should respect their decision and consider walking away as well. In this way, we can begin to bring closure to this cycle, heal and move forward.

As a final recommendation regarding how to act in the face of a loved one’s indifference, you could meditate on psychotherapy. Having the guidance of a family or couples therapist can be an effective tool.

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