How is your relationship with yourself and others? – GOOD SHAPE

Currently, there are several studies that prove that the social relationships and the support network (people you can count on, who support you), help to reduce anxiety and depression and, moreover, contribute to your happiness! Therefore, today our subject is about relationships!

We continue with our texts on the model SPIRE comprehensive well-being, Wholebeing Institute. In recent weeks, we’ve talked about the spiritual, physicist, intellectual, today about the relational and next Saturday, on the emotional! Just click here to check it out!

But after all, what is the relational dimension? It concerns healthy relationships, with others and with yourself! After all, you’re relating all the time, and you can do it more lightly and intentionally constructively!

My guest today is an extremely special person to me! Helena Galante, editor here at , creator of the Podcast Jornada da Calma, journalist and someone who loves being with people, will tell us about the reasons why this dimension is the most important to her, what ways she uses to put into action and improve her your relations!

“Relationships are what fuel me. It’s the conversations that change my life,” reports Helena.

She always liked to talk, but, before developing self-awareness, she realized that her communication did not involve active listening and presence, making her even a little afraid of talking to some people and not knowing what to say. But nowadays, training the conversation a lot, she understands that constructive relationships are based more on an exchange than on an argument.

“Relationships are not networking! It needs to be something good for both of them, with disposition, delivery and dedication”, comments Helena.

Your turn to reflect:

– How many times have you been talking to someone, but thinking about what you would say next? Without actually listening to her?!

– Do you try to be present in your conversations, welcoming others, without judgement?

– Do you really want to know how the other is doing when you say “Hi, how are you?”

– Would you like to be able to open up more in your relationships, having a genuine exchange and growth?

Well, Helena questioned herself about all these factors and, with the help of therapy and self-knowledge tools, she realized that the exchanges were what made her happier, allowing herself to experience meaningful relationships, opening up to others, accepting her vulnerability , allowing himself to think that it’s okay not to know how to answer some things, and that he could rather focus on the here and now, whoever he’s talking to.

Sometimes, it seems that people are just focused on comparing themselves, on showing who is the best. But what would it be like if everyone could act with more compassion and kindness?! We can initiate change in ourselves, from our relationships!

Now reflect:

– How is your relationship with yourself?

– Is the internal critic screaming a lot or are you taking in?

Our dear interviewee said that, over time, she managed to understand herself better, taking moments to be with herself. She understood that she is not her thoughts or emotions, that she is a person who goes far beyond names, badges or external definitions. It allowed her to get to know herself, to be there for herself, to be more aware, to make decisions more calmly, without so many automatic reactions.

Currently, the techniques that help her maintain this healthy relationship with herself are: taking conscious breaks during the day, writing in your gratitude notebook, going to therapy and even realizing it during the exchanges you have with others!

A great discovery for you was realizing the difference between when you are needy vs. wanting to relate. since the lack it is more connected to supplying oneself (and, psychologically speaking, it may be a lack of our own relationship, which we end up discounting and expecting from the other). And the desire to relate is linked to exchanges, give and take, actually interact with each other.

And you, how can you start nurturing more amazing relationships with others and yourself today? I’m already here very excited to be able to call some friends and notice the way I’m talking to myself! After all, there are times when we say such heavy things mentally to ourselves that we wouldn’t have the courage to say them out loud to our best friends, right? So maybe this is the next step to take and start changing?!

Ps: even if it’s not possible to meet the people we love in person, we can call by audio, video, send a letter, write post-it, review old photos… There are several options! And for your relationship with yourself, challenge yourself to be alone and silent, 5 minutes a day, without judging yourself, just welcoming yourself!!! It can be very freeing!

Let’s go on this journey together!

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Hi, my name is Priscila Conte Vieira, but you can call me Pri! I am a psychologist, speaker and mentor. I work in clinical psychology, I’m a specialist in Positive Psychology, postgraduate student in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, master in self-knowledge, life coach, NLP practitioner and also creator of the Podcast Breathe, don’t freak out (how about checking it out on Spotify?!)

I’ll be here every week, addressing topics from Positive Psychology, happiness, well-being and helping them to be their best versions, through self-knowledge and flourishing. To find out more about me and follow me on a daily basis, just follow me on Instagram! I’m there like @psi.priscilaconte See you next Saturday! See you <3