How is the personality of an aggressor built?

There are many damages and deaths that occur as a result of an attack, which is why it is important to continue researching in this regard. So, Understanding how violence occurs in a relationship – and in other areas – implies knowing how the personality of an aggressor is constructed. and what your experience may be in that relationship.

Research data shows that being the object or witness of violence does not necessarily make that witness violent in the future.. However, studies also tell us that a large part of the aggressors do have a history of family violence (54%), which justifies psychological intervention.

The personality of an aggressor begins in childhood and adolescence

Attachment refers to the way we connect with the world and especially with emotional figures. Since we were little, In the face of any threat, our attachment system is activated. That is, when faced with fear, we look for that feeling of security that the company of our reference figures offers us.

On the other hand, if faced with the threat, If the body maintains activation for a long period, it is likely that this energy will end up transforming into aggression. Here violence has the function of attracting the attention of the reference figure to provide help.

It seems that especially Borderline and antisocial offenders have insecure attachment. that characterizes his way of bonding, especially with his emotional figures. When this type of insecure attachment is combined with exposure to violence, humiliation and detachment, it generates the development of a personality disorder and violent behaviors.

According to Dutton (2003, 2007), the result of this conglomerate is a “diffuse identity.” In these cases, violence and emotional distancing feed off each other in a vicious circle that destroys the relationship.

What are the backgrounds of the aggressors?

As we well know, The experiences with our reference figures are determining factors in our personality. According to Dutton (2003), there are different antecedents regarding the family experiences of the aggressors and the psychological and physical consequences that they had on them:

Rejection and humiliation: low self-esteem, anger/rage, blame on external factors, lack of emotional regulation… They tend to be frequently violent and emotionally abusive.Insecure attachment: They are very jealous, the anger becomes intimate and they want to control.Victim and/or witness of physical abuse: They have memories of patterns of violence, they do not have positive strategies to solve problems, they have low empathy for victims of violence… They tend to abuse.Rejection, humiliation; insecure attachment: Violence focuses on intimate relationships.Rejection, humiliation; insecure attachment; victim and/or witness of physical abuse: The integrity of their ego depends on the relationship, so they are controlling, abusive and persecuting.

The perpetrator’s (aggressor’s) fear of being abandoned is what causes his need to control and harm the victim. When the aggressor behaves aggressively with caring behaviors, in some way the latter reinforce the approach of the victim, creating a type of relationship known as “traumatic bond” or “Stockholm syndrome” (Graham et al., 2001; Loue, 2002).

The role of values ​​in violence

The young person with insecure attachment develops a consistent value system that justifies his or her vision of the world., and therefore their relationships with their partners. These values ​​are transmitted through socialization, from the family, peer group, school, movies, etc. We live values, not only of the microculture in which one is born, but also in global culture. The main values ​​related to gender violence would be the following (developed from Pence and Paymar, 1993; Paymar, 2000; Loue, 2002):

Male superiority: the myth of superman, the man as provider, tolerance for man’s promiscuity and control of the partner, the right to demand domestic services from his partner, etc.Way of understanding violence: Bad mood causes violence, men are jealous by nature, breaking things is not aggression, sometimes there are no alternatives, a man cannot change his partner if his partner does not change, etc.Conception of woman: Women are manipulative, they see men as sources of money, feminists hate men, they like to be dominated, they are as violent as men, etc.

6 explanations that aggressors give themselves for resorting to domestic violence

According to Holma et al. (2006) there are six recurring justifications that aggressors use to justify violence. They would be the following:

Violence is natural.Violence is related to certain insufficiencies of the aggressor in difficult situations.Seeing themselves cornered. The couple got them mad.Temporarily lose control.Justify yourself through your traumatic past, accumulation of stress, etc.

It is important to keep in mind that it is not about winning a battle against the aggressor, but about going for oneself. Any type of violence subtracts and deteriorates, that is why Much of the work with victims of violence focuses on adding and recoveringthat is, accumulating evidence and experiences that reinforce the recovery of confidence in one’s own judgment and self-esteem, until reaching that feeling of freedom that gives the feeling of control.

Bibliographic references

Navarro Góngora, J. (2015). Violence in intimate relationships. A clinical perspective. Barcelona: Ed. Herder.