Hopelessness, when we give up everything for lost

Hopelessness is a poison that extinguishes illusions, motivations and energies little by little.. It is the scab of permanent disappointment and that thorn that makes us breathe through the bitterness until we plunge into a very dangerous psychological trap. Because in the long run, these states make us very vulnerable to depression and other disorders with a high emotional cost.

In day-to-day clinical practice we know that Many psychological conditions have a type of established interventions that can help the person. We know, for example, what therapy and strategies to offer a patient with an anxiety disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, phobias, etc.

However, There are other realities that, as curious as it may seem, are highly challenging for every professional.. We talk about those situations where someone comes to us who says they have lost the meaning of life, someone who feels trapped by hopelessness, someone who suffers emotionally without really knowing the reason…

These types of states do not always appear in the DSM-V (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders). Many are patients who have not yet crossed that line where a clinical condition already appears. Nevertheless, They are in the abyss, on the edge of that precipice where rapid intervention is necessary to not let them fall, to act in time.

Because if there is something that most of us know, it is that hopelessness is loss of vital meaningis that dangerous and irrational belief where you can think that everything, absolutely everything, is lost…

Hopelessness, the emotional and behavioral response that precedes depression

Let’s look at the image above for a moment. It is a work by the Pre-Raphaelite painter Evelyn De Morgan, titled Hope in the prison of despair. In it we see a dark dungeon where there is a bent woman hiding her face. She is in front of a window but she doesn’t even look out of it to see the sunlight. This figure is hopelessness.

Behind him there is a young man holding a lamp: it is hope trying to illuminate his person., comfort her, bring back her optimism, courage and inner strength. The painter wanted to stage in this work that inspiring being that we must all invoke to get out of the personal prison in which we often leave our disappointments, sorrows, frustrations and emptiness.

What is hopelessness exactly?

The word hope comes from the French term espoir and means ‘breath’. Therefore, Hopelessness would come to symbolize not only lack of breathing, but also absence of spirit or loss of that essence that makes us human.

Beyond this symbolic meaning, there is undoubtedly the objective reality that emerges from this feeling. Hopelessness, far from having a single explanation behind it, actually has a whole complex network of dynamics and very striking internal processes..

This makes it, for example, so difficult for the person to answer why they feel hopeless.

There is low self-esteem. There is frustration, bitterness and high pessimism. What they feel is the loss of meaning. Suddenly, nothing makes sense to them. There is an accumulation of negative experiences that have not been processed correctly. They experience sadness, apathy, physical fatigue, low motivation, lack of interest in everything that previously defined them. evident helplessness. You reach a point where you assume that nothing you do can change things.

Something that we cannot leave aside seeing all this symptomatology is that If these psychological and behavioral dynamics are persistent, we would give way to an obvious depressive process.

Treat hopelessness to prevent depression

Hopelessness, on average, comes and goes. It is that annoying tenant that dresses us at certain times but that tends to fade after a while when we change our focus or start new habits.

What’s more, a study published in The journals of gerontology indicates that hopelessness is usually linked to our personality style. There are profiles with a greater tendency towards pessimism and helplessness. However, this does not mean that they are necessarily destined to suffer one depression after another.

We all have the possibility (and obligation) to make use of adequate personal resources to deter, defuse and confront hopelessness. Some keys to reflect on would be the following:

Tune in to how you feel, try to give a name to each state. Understand that hopelessness often follows the following rule of three: I feel exhausted from feeling sad, frustrated, disappointed. It is, after all, a cumulative state. It is having let many things pass without having previously resolved them. Therefore, it is appropriate to explain these origins. Hopelessness is an emotional state that is intensified by our behaviors. Following the same routines will make us nourish that situation, that state. Therefore, it is useful to start new habits. Let’s try to connect with reality in another way, let’s innovate, start new projects, let’s be creative to the extent possible.

To conclude, when we find ourselves in that prison of hopelessness symbolized in Evelyn De Morgan’s painting, the most important thing is to generate alternatives, open new doors, embrace new airs. It is clear, however, that It is not always possible to get out of these cubicles of psychological pain by ourselves.

Therapies such as cognitive-behavioral can help us in these cases. Let us not hesitate, therefore, to always count on professional help.

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