Have the courage to be yourself –

Sometimes we end up changing some things about ourselves to suit the group we belong to or to feel like we belong. We try to be a person we are not, because of social pressure, which tells us what we should be or look like. But after all, is it worth it?!

The costs of trying to be who we are not, just to please others, is very expensive! It is much more worthwhile to face yourself and accept your authenticity! I know, it’s not that simple. But I tell you, it’s very freeing!!

I have several patients at the clinic who bring this subject into session: “Pri, I need to be thinner, I need a partner so I can go out to dinner, I need to change my clothes to feel better and prettier, I need to make sure that they’re going to like me, I don’t know if they’re going to like me…” But really?

First of all, what we say “necessary”, we place an even greater burden on top of it, which is not necessarily essential. Try changing the “I need” to “I would like” and see if this need is yours or if you are doing it for others. Because, if not for you, the chances of you not feeling well afterwards, even reaching the goal, is great.

Now, I want you to think about how many things you impose rules and judgments on yourself that don’t really exist. In the example above, I commented on a case where a patient told me that she needed a partner to be able to go out to dinner. And how many times have you stopped doing something yourself because you didn’t have a company?! This was the theme of our text last week, which I invite you to read here!

We often put in rules that limit us more than they make us happy. So try to get rid of it! Take yourself out to dinner at your favorite restaurant! And oh, if you’re wondering what others will think about seeing you alone, don’t worry about it!!! The others are theirs! You’ll be having fun and enjoying a delicious meal! (And most importantly: what do you think when you see someone dining alone?! The judgment can be yours and not others).

A authenticity walks along with the state of solitude and with the courage to break free! First we need to accept ourselves, be comfortable with our own company, so that later we can assert ourselves as we are and let go of things that don’t belong to us.

You know, my life became much lighter after I understood that I am an intense and expansive person. I can’t contain my joy when I’m excited about something, let alone my sadness when something bad happens. I understood that my speech is something that is very contagious to others, but that it can also be bothersome. And you know what? I’ve suffered a lot from this too.

Wanting to please everyone around us is impossible and a very difficult job! I free myself from this every day, when I choose to do things my way, with ethics, respect and conscience! I accepted that not everyone will like me and that I don’t even have the obligation to make them like me, after all, long live freedom of choice! Everyone knows what they like and I also don’t want to have to like something just because they expect me to like it.

I really hope that you finish reading this text and think of yourself as a whole. Reflect on what you are ceasing to be, just to belong, or to fit in and free yourself from all of this!!!! Be yourself and, as Caetano Veloso said, “Each one knows the pain and the delight of being who they are”.

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Hi, my name is Priscila Conte Vieira, but you can call me Pri! I am a psychologist, speaker and mentor. I work in clinical psychology, I’m a specialist in Positive Psychology, postgraduate student in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, master in self-knowledge, life coach, NLP practitioner and also creator of the Podcast Breathe, don’t freak out (how about checking it out on Spotify?!)

I’ll be here every week, addressing themes of Positive Psychology, happiness, well-being and helping them to be their best versions, through self-knowledge and flourishing. To find out more about me and follow me on a daily basis, just follow me on Instagram! I’m there like @psi.priscilaconte See you next Saturday! See you <3