Gray divorce: a growing phenomenon

The gray divorce occurs in people over 50 years of age They usually have been together for a long time. The term originates from the American Association of Retired Persons.

In the US it is a growing phenomenon. In fact, according to a study led by Susan L. Brown, published in The Journals of Gerontologythe divorce rate in people over 55 years of age doubled between 1990 and 2010. And, approximately 1 in 4 divorces in 2010 occurred in people over 50 years of age.

Now, what else do we know about this phenomenon? Is it also produced in Spain?

Gray divorce: a growing phenomenon

Also known as silver or diamond divorce, This type of divorce refers to the trend of those marriages of adults, “with gray hair” (50 years or older), who choose to separate after many years as a couple.

This is a trend that has been going strong in countries like the United States, but also in the rest of the world. Sonia Abadi, doctor, psychoanalyst and researcher states: “We see more divorces in couples over 60, and this is a universal phenomenon“.

Origin of the concept

But where does the concept of “gray divorce” come from? Was the American Association of Retired Persons the one who coined the term “gray divorce” in 2004, with the publication of a study on divorce in midlife and beyond.

Years later, in 2012, researchers at Bowling Green State University called this phenomenon the “gray divorce revolution.”

Examples of gray divorce

In the world of celebrities we find couples who have experienced a gray divorce, such as the founder of Microsoft, Bill Gates, and his now ex-wife, the American businesswoman Melinda Ann French Gates, who separated after 27 years of marriage.

Also, former Vice President of the United States Al Gore, and his now ex-wife, Mary Elizabeth Aitcheson, separated after 40 years together.

Gray divorce in Spain?

According to data from the National Institute of Statistics (INE), in 2018, 99,444 couples decided to divorce or interrupt your coexistence in Spain. This represents a rate of 2.1 per 1,000 inhabitants.

There is a decrease of 2.8% compared to the previous year, when 2,897 more couples divorced. But, at what age do Spaniards get divorced? Does this gray divorce trend really exist?

According to the INE, the average age of women is 45.4 years; However, this average ranges between 39.2 years in annulments, 45.2 years in divorces and 50.1 years in separations.

In the case of men, the average age is a little older: 47.8 yearswhich varies in: 41 years on average for annulments, 47.6 years for divorces and 52.6 years for separations.

The pandemic and divorces in Spain

The pandemic has also affected the number of divorces. More recent data, also from the INE, indicate that, in Spain, in the second quarter of 2020, separations and divorces fell by 42.1%.

In 2019, there were 3.8% fewer divorces than in 2018, so the pandemic could be skewing the gray divorce phenomenon.

Gray divorce phenomenon in the USA

And in the US? What figures are we talking about regarding divorce? Divorce among people aged 50 or older in the US It doubled between 1999 and 2010. The rate went from 0.5% to 1% annually.

A generation ago, less than 10% of marriage breakups involved a spouse over 50; instead, Currently, more than 1 in 4 people in the US who get divorced are over 50 years old.

However, over the past 40 years, the overall divorce rate in the US has been declining, but this decline in divorce trends is not homogeneous. So, Divorces among younger people have decreased, but divorces among older adults have increasedthat is the phenomenon of gray divorce.

Causes of divorces

According to Marta Ibáñez, a psychologist specializing in sexual and couples therapy, the main causes of divorces are the following:

Lack of communication in the couple.Feeling of “being trapped.”Failure to meet expectations.Very different (or rather, incompatible) personalities.Change of priorities.Lack of trust in the other person. Infidelity.

Logically, in gray divorce, these causes can be intensified (due to time) and, therefore, have a greater weight in the relationship, which ends up leading to divorce.

Thus, the passage of time, routine, the wear and tear of the relationship, the greater probability of meeting a third person or being unfaithful are factors that especially influence the case of a gray divorce.

Aspects to take into account in a gray divorce

There are some aspects that should be especially taken into account in a gray divorce. These are the following:

Alimony: Alimony payments are more common in gray divorces.Retirement accounts: these can take a serious hit during divorce.Children: These are usually adult children, but they also suffer the emotional consequences of divorce.Prenuptial contracts: They allow spouses to divide their assets in writing, and must be taken into account during the divorce.Remaking life and remarrying: It is important to prepare for the new dynamics of relationships.

The truth is that Divorces occur at all agesalthough we have seen this rise in divorces at the age of 50 or older in the US.

The causes could be the same at any age, although the passage of time, greater economic independence (especially in women) than in the past, and the search for personal fulfillment are factors that would especially influence gray divorce. On the other hand also The fact of having parents who also divorced may influence.

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