Extraordinary moments, shared moments

Many of the most extraordinary moments in our lives are shared moments, are little pieces of magical complicity with extraordinary people, with childhood friends or new friends, with family, with loves of a summer or loves of an entire life. They were, are and will be happy moments that we are grateful for and that in turn give us strength in difficult times.

If we put before us frame by frame every moment of our existence, it is most likely that several scenes would appear with this special brightness: that of joy, that of well-being and that subtle balance where suddenly, life itself comes into harmony. Far from regretting that those moments of absolute perfection do not happen more frequently, the only thing we should do is be grateful for them.. Be grateful for having experienced them.

Since Martin Seligman oriented his work in the late 1990s from the study of depression or learned helplessness to the field of happiness Millions of books have already been written aimed at teaching us how to “be happy.”. We are explained how to be builders precisely of those extraordinary experiences, to be skillful in our decision-making and architects of that joy, self-security and personal confidence to shape a day to day more in line with our personal needs.

Now, from those years to the present, Seligman’s positive psychology has received many criticisms. In fact, renowned psychiatrists and social psychologists such as Jerome Wakefield, from New York University, affirm that today There is such an obsession with “being happy” that we have simply forgotten to learn to tolerate or manage sadness..

We have forgotten that Happiness, in reality, are moments, they are precious fragments of time that come and go. like shiny soap bubbles that burst and disappear…, but that at the same time leave us with that satisfied smile on our face, that breath of hope with which we can evoke our own memory from time to time to feel like children again.

Shared moments, key to happiness

Let’s close our eyes for a moment and ask our memory to take us back in time to a happy moment.. In little more than a second we will be there, in some childhood prank with our classmates, or playing in the pool with our brothers, while the smell of chlorine and freshly cut grass returns to our memory. We may also see ourselves with our grandparents, walking, listening to their stories while they take us by the hand one afternoon at 5, after leaving school.

Memory has a predilection for childhood memories, but those moments of happiness can also take the form of a caress under the table, waking up as a couple on the same pillow or even, and why not, that trip full of anecdotes. with the usual friends.

Those shared moments, linked with the golden thread of emotions, complicity and affection They configure in themselves a unique jewel in our most intimate memory, in our personal history.. It is “lived life”, it is fragments of the same where we feel more complete than ever.

Sonia Lyubomirsky, professor of psychology at the University of California and better known as “the happiness scientist,” explains that To be happy you need a certain amount of work, a certain amount of effort.but if we invest time and effort in that purpose we will realize that it can be very fun.

The reason? One way to achieve this is by learning to connect with others. Having friends, for example, having meaningful personal relationships, is a great way to create magical moments more frequently. Sometimes, just meeting someone for coffee is enough to create a moment of magical and cathartic complicity.

Extraordinary moments are created

Beyond what those common phrases can tell us that happiness is just around the corner or that good times appear when we least expect it, it is necessary to be clear about some aspects. Without a good attitude, without openness, ability to connect, observation, without self-esteem or self-confidence, we will undoubtedly have many closed windows.. To create extraordinary moments, we must apply appropriate filters in our daily lives with which we can enjoy life more.

Keys to building quality moments

The first strategy is undoubtedly knowing how to focus on the things that matter. Being clear about what and who is essential in our hearts is what will allow us to invest time, efforts and energy in those essential dimensions.

The second step is kindness. Extraordinary moments are often born when we do something for someone or they do it for us, when we share things and moments from the heart because there is affection, the most sincere affection. They are little pieces of time empty of selfishness or buried interests.

The third strategy has to do with our ability to connect to the present moment, to what happens in our here and now. Because we must be very clear: Happiness is not programmed, so do not leave for tomorrow the happiness you can feel today.

The last key has to do with gratitude. We must understand that happiness, as we noted at the beginning, comes and goes. Those magical moments don’t last forever. Thus, and while we are enjoying them, it is advisable to thank them. Be thankful for the special people around yoube grateful for being able to savor that experience that helps you grow as a person, give your best and feel worthy and deserving of those positive emotions.

So do not hesitate to build extraordinary moments whenever possible…

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