Everything goes wrong for me, what’s wrong with me?

Sometimes, There comes a time when one ends up saying to oneself that “but… what’s wrong with me? Everything goes wrong for me!”. It is true that we have all gone through difficult times, through those times in which everything is tripped up, various mistakes, bitter disappointments and dreams that disappear from one day to the next. However, no one can deny that those moments touch us, hurt and demotivate us.

However… What is usually behind these experiences? Suddenly realizing that all areas of our existence are in crisis (work, relationship, personal projects, etc.) makes us wonder if there is some trigger that orchestrates this bad luck or truncated future.. Is it us with our attitude? Is it the current context?

When we go through these types of spirals in which one does not see the light anywhere, it is best to stop. What’s more, we’re not just talking about slowing down and taking a few days off. In turn, we must stop the mental noise, the thoughts that do not stop spinning and feed even more worry.. Giving the body and mind a break will allow us to: analyze what happened and restart ourselves.

When everything goes wrong we need to take time for ourselves and reflect

Everything is going wrong for me, what is happening?

Cycles of negativity exist and are frequent. We are referring to those stages in which failure is linked to misfortune. A deception with a lie. These are days when a mistake is followed by disappointment and the grudging acceptance that something we thought was going to happen is no longer going to happen. The most common thing is that these cycles are brief and that, after a short time, our attitude and external circumstances improve.

Now, the most dangerous thing about these stages is getting stuck in them. It usually happens, above all, when we feed that situation with thoughts like “Why does everything happen to me? Why does the world treat me so badly? Is there something wrong with me that things go so wrong?”

Almost without realizing it, we enter a state of helplessness in which we assume that no matter what we do, nothing will change our adverse situation. Which can be the causes? If we clarify those triggers that may be behind each negative event, we obtain a greater sense of control. And that’s always good. We analyze it.

1. It’s not bad luck, you see things the way you feel

Does bad luck exist? We don’t know it. There is no scientific evidence of this and hence we must look for objective and concrete causes. What we do know is that our attitude and state of mind determine what happens to us in many cases. Research work such as those carried out at the University of Geneva, for example, highlight precisely this relationship.

The way you feel determines what happens to you. Therefore, the most appropriate thing in all cases is to take a break and clarify what is happening inside you and what you need. It’s time to stop acting on autopilot.

2. The filtering phenomenon

The filtering phenomenon defines a cognitive distortion. It is about that mental approach that makes us apply a very specific bias: that of negativity. One focuses only on what goes wrong, only pays attention to the error, only perceives the adverse and is unable to see anything else. Those dark glasses never see or perceive what is good, what happens in a positive way and what would allow us an opportunity.

Sometimes, Either because we suffer from a psychological disorder or perhaps because of learned conditioning, we focus only on seeing reality in a negative way.

3. Learned pessimism

There are people who walk through life thinking that everything is going against them. They suffer from a chronic pessimism that often has its origins in education, in parents who have taught them that the world is a bad place, that one cannot trust people, that good things never happen…

4. Low self-esteem

This dimension is not a state that one reaches overnight and maintains for life. Self-esteem can weaken, vary over time and with experiences. Therefore, if at some point we find ourselves wondering why everything is going wrong for me, maybe it is time to ask ourselves how our self-concept, self-love, self-esteem is going…

5. Covert depression

Mood disorders, such as anxiety or depression, act like a veil that obscures everything. Thus, the idea that everything goes wrong for us, that no matter how hard we try, nothing will turn out as we expect, can sometimes be the manifestation of depression.

Studies such as the one carried out at the University of Massachusetts by Dr. Paula Pietro, for example, highlight the fact that these types of thoughts are a constant in the depressed mind.

6. Difficult times, variable results

We cannot rule out an obvious factor and it is none other than the context that surrounds us. In difficult times many things can begin to fail, it is true. However, you have to understand that they are streaks: bad luck does not last forever.

If you perceive that everything is beyond your control, do not hesitate to request expert help

What can I do if I am in a time when everything is going wrong?

When I go through a time when everything is going wrong, the last thing I should do is continue as if nothing had happened, even trying to achieve goals or aspects that are already lost causes. The ideal is to take into account the following points to reflect on:

1. Find the origin

The fact that everything goes wrong for me, why is it? Are they aspects that depend on me? Or are certain things happening outside of my control? The first thing I will do is take some time, a pause to reflect on what happened and clarify what motivated this concatenation of negative events.

2. Accept what you cannot control

I must accept that there are aspects that are, indeed, out of my control, that do not depend on me. There are complicated times when certain things are not favorable for us. I accept it and, within this current complexity, I try to make new decisions.

3. Take care of your internal dialogue and regulate your emotions

It is also necessary that you pay attention to the quality of my thoughts. Are you applying a negative filter to my reality? Do I focus too much on what goes wrong? Grab a notebook and address that inner world that can sometimes act as your worst enemy.

On the other hand, It is essential that you learn to regulate and understand your emotions. Ask yourself the following questions: What do I feel? How long have I been feeling this frustration or this apathy?… Perhaps, the fact that everything goes wrong for me has its root in my state of mind. You may need help and this is the real area I should focus my attention on.

Conclusion

Finally, when we go through those times when many aspects of our lives take somewhat adverse paths, it is always appropriate, as we have said, to give ourselves some time to rest. Next, Maybe it’s time to make changes, no matter how small.. Sometimes, any variation acts as a powerful shock, as something hopeful.

Likewise, do not hesitate to ask for expert help if you feel that you are losing control of your life and only experience anguish and suffering. Let’s think about it.

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