Do you know what Wendy syndrome is?

Wendy syndrome is named after the character in the play Peter Pan and is inspired by the relationship that forms between the two characters.

Wendy syndrome is an absolute need to satisfy the other, to give everything for him, forgetting even about yourself. And when it comes to mentioning the other, it generally refers to the partner, but also to the children.

Nowadays, this acute need to satisfy others and please loved ones is one of the tasks that many psychological therapies affect. Because? Because it is related very directly to our emotions and our emotional intelligence is going to have a lot to do with the way we choose to cover it.

Wendy syndrome in depth

the person has the need to please others, seeking acceptance

Their permanent insecurity makes them excessively servile towards others.. A set of behaviors and feelings that are also associated with the famous Peter Pan syndrome, which psychologist Dan Kiley recorded in 1983 applied to individuals who do not want to grow up.

Peter Pan syndrome describes narcissistic, irresponsible and unempathetic people, that is, emotionally immature and, in part, voluntarily.

It is very common for a Peter Pan to require or have a Wendy to do what he does not want to solve due to lack of responsibility and immaturity. The behaviors are not only present between the couple, they also occur between a parent and child, between siblings and in friendships.

How to recognize a person with Wendy syndrome

There are behaviors that clearly indicate that a person suffers from Wendy syndrome.. The most common would be the following:

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The person feels essential.They conceive love as sacrificed and sufferedThey are very emotional and submissive.Avoid anything or circumstance that may bother you to the people around him. If he does not know or can perform an action, apologize even though it is not his responsibility to carry it out.Overly protective of the people around him: Their lives are cuts of the lives of others. They assume the role of caregiver with their partner. The lack of attention and social acceptance produces feelings of depression and anxiety. They feel the need to take care of others.

All of these characteristics can be easily recognized, allowing us to diagnose a person with this syndrome by feeling “burned” and “overwhelmed””.

It is also important to clarify that all of us, at some point in our lives, have carried out some of these behaviors. The difference is that The person suffering from the syndrome is truly motivated by the fear of being abandoned.

Characterization of both syndromes in the couple

It is likely that the couple is the area where this syndrome has been studied the most, as well as that of Peter Pan, since they tend to be found in a complementary way. In general, the member of the couple who has a childlike attitude usually finds someone with the need to take care of others.

These are two complementary roles, but this does not imply harmony in the couple. When one of the two only demands and the other only sacrifices, at some point a turning point is reached. The most common thing is that professional support is required to solve this dynamic.

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Origin and treatment

The origin does not depend on a single factor. It can be derived from the education received, life experiences, personal characteristics or the present circumstances in which the person finds themselves. It begins to manifest itself at the end of adolescence.

The diagnosis is complicated for those people who do not go to therapy of their own volition.

The solution to the problem can be summarized in developing assertiveness. To achieve this, it is highly recommended that it be carried out with a specialist and several psychotherapy sessions. Two essential points must also be addressed:

Let them be aware of their situation, since they see it as something normal in their lives. A “modus operandi” of his personality.Use emotional intelligence tools so that they learn to understand and manage their own emotions that have led them to act and feel this way.

We must not forget that Giving everything for others without taking yourself into account, without loving yourself, can end up causing an immense void.. And that situation, in the long run, will end up leading to frustration and dissatisfaction.

Be aware of these types of situations in our lives, dare to discover them and put ourselves “OK” with them to overcome them in a healthy way, it allows us a healthy life, constituting continuous personal/emotional progress. Because Only if happiness is cultivated can it be offered to others.