Do you know how to ask for forgiveness?

We all make mistakes, we screw up and we make mistakes. Usually when this happens we quickly realize: just as we do or say, we also have an evaluation mechanism that we set in motion almost automatically and that urges us to ask for forgiveness.

Sometimes, our mistakes harm or go against the people we love, no matter how contradictory it may seem.. Who has not ever been hurt by an out-of-tone comment, with an unfounded accusation, has judged someone without having the slightest right to do so, or has taken out anger at themselves with the first person they have met.
When this happens and we realize it, we usually face the task of asking for forgiveness or apologies.. Something that seems so simple from the outside often becomes a complicated process: we may think that by asking for forgiveness we are not only acknowledging our failure but also showing our weakness.

It may also happen that the person who has received the harm has harmed us before and has not apologized. Why should we make that effort if the other person hasn’t?

Other times it is the circumstances themselves, we simply do not meet again with the person we have harmed; Sometimes shame also acts as a limiting barrier. Finally, a reason that can be added to the previous ones is that we do not know how to do it.

Thus, a good apology has three parts.

If you want to learn to ask for forgiveness in the right way, you should know that doing it well consists of 3 parts that cannot be suppressed. Each one of them has its importance. Which of these 3 parts is the most difficult for you?

1. I’m sorry

When you apologize you tell the other person that having hurt them in some way has hurt you. to you too, that it is not what you wanted to happen and that if you could go back you would do it differently.

With this part, in some way you open the empathic channel with the other person and prepare a dialogue channel in which the main protagonists are feelings. If you achieve this, you will be able to access the deepest part of the wound you have caused and heal it from the depths.

2. I was wrong

When you apologize you take responsibility for what happened.. You assume that it was you and not someone else who bears the responsibility for what happened. This part reflects the maturity of the person who apologizes and conveys confidence to the person who receives it.

3. How do I correct it?

Sometimes the damage we have done cannot be repaired immediately but other times it can and many times we do not know how to do it. Voluntarily restoring the injured person or showing the willingness to do so will show them that we give them all the importance they deserve.

Many times it’s just time, The injured person needs to know that the apology we are making is not a mere formality. or a way to put the matter to rest and consider it a thing of the past as soon as possible.

If your forgiveness contains these three parts you will have a much better chance of it being effective. and that the person who receives it understands and feels comforted by what you want to convey. Sometimes we throw words around because we have learned to say them that way. “I love you,” “I’m sorry,” are some of the most used and end up losing their meaning.

Asking for forgiveness in the right way will let the person to whom it is addressed know that we are truly sorry, that we mean it from the heart and that we are willing to never do the same thing again.

Do not be afraid

Don’t be afraid to ask for forgiveness. It is a healing process with oneself and with others. Asking for forgiveness is not a sign of being weak or being less than anyone. On the contrary, the act of asking for forgiveness shows bravery. When we ask for forgiveness we are afraid because we think that we have done something wrong, so we can interpret it as being imperfect.

A mental phrase that runs through our minds, consciously or unconsciously, can be the following: “If I ask for forgiveness it is because I have made a mistake, and if I have made a mistake it is because I have made a mistake, and if I make a mistake it is because I am imperfect.” Tolerance for error is low because many interpret it as a synonym for low personal worth. However, nothing could be further from the truth. Admitting a mistake and asking for forgiveness is the best way to grow and evolve.

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