What to do when we become “addicted” to a person

Addictions without substances exist, and one of them has to do with love. An example of this is when we become addicted to a person, when our entire world spins, breathes and is nourished around a single presence. We could define this situation as a pathological perpetuation of falling in love, of a dependency that harasses and that only brings unhappiness.

If a drug addict injects himself with a series of harmful chemicals, The love addict feeds on a substitute for affection that is as toxic as it is dangerous.. And even though it is costing him his physical and mental health, he does not see it because he is not aware of the problem. Because relational addiction also has something obsessive, about eyes that do not see and a heart that is just as blind.

Likewise, it is interesting to know that people with emotional dependence They do not perceive the mistreatment and abuse, nor the cost of that harmful bond, until a long time has passed. That’s when they find themselves alone, without friends and far from their family.

What can be done in these circumstances? We analyze it.

The problem with love addiction is that we are not always aware that we are in a dependency relationship.

What strategies should we follow when we become “addicted” to a person?

It is not easy to “disengage” from that person to whom we have become addicted.. The cause is in the neurochemical factor. It is important to remember that this situation follows the same neurological mechanism that is evident in substance addicts. The brain is flooded with dopamine, creating an unusually strong reward signal that prompts us to resort to that “drug” again.

Now, it is also crucial to know if we are really in a bond of this emotional caliber. Many times we use this terminology without clarifying whether or not there is a true addiction to a person. In this case, These relationships are defined by an absolute loss of freedoms and individuality, an extreme dependence, the need for control and, at the same time, fear of being abandoned by the other.

This emotional ambivalence gives rise to a bond that is as obsessive as it is destructive. Thus, a study highlights that When we become addicted to a person, we experience cycles of ecstasy and despairstages of desires and times dominated by extreme thoughts and behaviors.

What can we do in those situations? How to act? We analyze it.

Differentiates healthy behaviors from codependents

When we become addicted to a person, we live with multiple blind spots. We do not see certain harmful dynamics, we internalize wrong narratives about love and we dilute ourselves in the other like a sugar in water. It is a priority that we know how to differentiate what is healthy from those clearly dependent behaviors.

Your self-esteem fluctuates depending on how your partner treats you.There are no clear boundaries about where you start and the other ends. You feel responsible even for how the other person feels. The need for mutual control is absolute.Your priorities and your needs are always displaced.Communication is dysfunctional. There are obsessive behaviors.You both fear abandonment, being without each other, but at the same time, that coexistence is harmful.

Identify the patterns that govern your relationship

Every addict always follows the same behavioral patterns that range from ecstasy to despondency., from desire to depression, from joy to despair… It is an endless cycle marked by a slow and progressive self-destruction. Something very similar happens with love addiction.

Therefore, it is important that Let’s identify those same dynamics that appear many times in the relationship itself. An example of this would be an argument, shouting and anger, a few days without speaking, the need to be with the other again, reunion, passion and, again, disagreements and discomfort.

Let’s assess what cost these cycles have on our mental health.

Become aware of your addictive thoughts

“I need it. I can’t live without him/her. I don’t know what she would do if she wasn’t with me. The only thing that matters to me is that he continues to love me; “I know it hurts me, but I can’t walk away.”

Almost without realizing itthe mind operates against us and feeds thought patterns that destroy self-esteem and dignity. We must be aware of those ideas that reinforce relational addiction.

One effect of love addiction is to progressively isolate ourselves from our friends and family to focus only on our partner…

When we become “addicted” to a person we should not remain isolated

Codependent, harmful and obsessive love leaves us isolated. It is very common to progressively distance ourselves from friends and family to focus exclusively on that blind love. We must be clear: When we become addicted to a person it is like being trapped in a black hole.. It consumes everything and we are separated from the world.

Let’s avoid it, let’s regain contact with friends, with our parents, siblings… We need support and for other people to make us see what our situation is.

Recover your hobbies and expand your circle

When we become addicted to a person, time and life are consumed exclusively by that relationship. Everything is displaced.

If we want to take back the reins of our lives, let’s start by remembering who we were. To do this, there is nothing better than returning to our hobbies or starting new practices. The decisive thing is to get away from that obsessive love to rediscover ourselves.

If we also expand our circle and meet more people, our mind will focus on new perspectives, ideas, possibilities… Something essential to turn off that obsession.

Vconsider the continuity or not of that relationship

There are two basic steps that every addict must complete: the first is to become aware of their problem and the second is to want to solve it. Once we commit to those two goals, something is evident. No one can continue consuming what is killing them little by little. With toxic love, with affection that hurts, that violates and sickens, the same thing happens.

The best option will always be to distance yourself. We must stay away from what hurts, even if it hurts to leave it. Because The worst thing is losing ourselves in the arms of someone who does not love us as we deserve.

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