Discover the surprising origin of falling in love, according to science

Love will always have some mystery; In fact, it is the mystery itself that gives it part of its charm. At least currently, we still do not know how to define, precisely and in all cases, the reasons why we fall in love with one person and not another.

Some conclusions regarding the most mysterious part of love have been published in the Journal of personal and social psychology. The study collects the ideas with which it concludes from other studies that have been done around the topic. On the other hand, although it is not intended to be the last word, it does define some of those reasons why we fall in love.

So, what we call “love chemistry” It is, above all, an attraction that is born from specific traits. When a person brings together several of these traits, they seem to generate a kind of selective magnetic field. Well, around this force, today we ask ourselves: what are the reasons why we fall in love? Here are five of them.

1. Pairs attract

Sometimes it is believed that we are more attracted to opposites, but in reality this is not the case. Similarity attracts, since multiple identification mechanisms operate in the love of a couple. mutual. To fall in love, we must feel that the other reaffirms us in one way or another.

What happens sometimes is that one person may have very defined features that are not as visible in the other, or are inhibited for some reason. Or that two very different people attract each other, because the points on which they agree are strong enough. The truth is that according to science Yes, we fall in love with those we perceive as similar to us..

2. He looks like his father or mother

This is a factor that is frequently mentioned in popular wisdom and science has proven that it has real bases. We fall in love more easily with someone who looks like one of our parents . That resemblance is often not so evident, but when we go deeper, we do find it.

The similarity with one of our parents may be in physical appearance, such as the way they look or smile. Nevertheless, More often it is a personality trait. The sense of protection, or demand, or a certain way of assuming life. We easily connect those traits with love for our parents and the spark occurs.

3. Conversation is one of the reasons we fall in love

Communication is perhaps the most decisive factor in love. We come to feel very good with those people with whom we can converse spontaneously. Those who are able to listen to us without being condescending and communicate to us what they think and feel.

It is proven that we always feel more affinity with someone after having had a personal conversation with them. AND If communication flows naturally, there is a much greater chance that we will feel a special attraction.. Definitely, one of the reasons we fall in love is the word.

4. Extroversion makes you fall in love

Research carried out shows that extroverted people “awaken more love”. This is related to the previous point. The extrovert seems to better predispose the conditions for communication to flow and attraction to appear.

When a person says what they think and feel openly and without inhibitions, it generates trust, warmth and closeness.. Introverted people, on the other hand, seem to make this contact somewhat more difficult. This does not mean that they do not develop great loves, but that, in general, they are less able to start relationships.

5. Shared extreme experiences

The extreme experiences that are shared favor the generation of bonds. Furthermore, if in this shared journey the potential couple found affinity, love becomes even more likely. On the other hand, shared problematic situations also increase sexual desire.

When we go through a difficult episode, we become more sociable. Two people can be united by a skydive, but also by a shared loss. Science indicates that in these types of situations they make us especially sensitive to others: to what they do, say, share, etc.

6. Mere exposure

The effect called “mere exposure” is the scientific explanation for the saying “touch makes love.” It tells us that we feel more closeness and positive affection towards those people with whom we spend more time, so it is not unusual to become fond of those people who share moments with us.

7. Physical appearance

We all know that this is not the only leg of the chair that supports falling in love. In fact, there are people who are very little susceptible to beauty when it comes to feeling love, but no one is indifferent to external appearance.

8. Reciprocal attraction

Knowing that the other person likes you too can increase the love you feel for them. After all, feeling that another person is attracted to you is a wonderful sensation and one for which we are biologically prepared: since they are interested, at least take a look.

9. Other factors

There are many theories that try to reconcile the mystery of falling in love with biology and social psychology. From these perspectives (such as that of Aron’s 1989 mating partner selection theory) are these factors:

Need satisfaction: Those people who satisfy the needs for companionship, affiliation, or sexual desire are more likely to attract others.Isolation: Spending time alone with a person increases the chances of falling in love.Need to be in a relationship: People who feel that having a partner is necessary in their lives tend to set fewer requirements and fall in love more easily.Mystery: When there is some question about what a person thinks or feels, the attraction is greater, although superficial.Normativity: Relationships are not exempt from the influence of the environment. A relationship that is well regarded by the social network to which one belongs can contribute to falling in love, while on the contrary it usually discourages the union.

In the logic of love we will never find all the answers. However, science does give us clues about the reasons why we fall in love. Does it apply in your case?

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