Discover the 11 ways to improve your social skills

What are social skills and how do they influence interpersonal relationships? How can they be improved? We give you some keys in the following article.

Looking for new ways to improve your social skills? Do you know how to work on them to interact successfully in a wide range of situations? Throughout this article, we will observe which resources constitute a harmonious combination of interpersonal, emotional and communicative elements with which to improve competence in society.

Although their acquisition may seem complex, they are strategies that are learned and enable adaptive performance in society. We suggest you get to know them and enhance them in order to maximize your personal development.

What are social abilities?

Social skills are a set of learned competencies that allow you to interact successfully and appropriately in any situation.. It should be noted that they are a component of emotional intelligence. As Daniel Goleman explains in his book Social Intelligence , They are resources with a great impact on lives.

For cognitive psychology and learning theories, they encompass a set of behaviors, cognitions or thoughts and ways of reacting from an emotional point of view. In this sense, All people have the capacity to develop and improve these strategies to the maximum. The benefits are undoubted: we will tell you about them.

How social skills help

Social skills make human beings more capable and decisive in living in society., factor that brings you closer to happiness. Thus, in a work published in the International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health they highlight this relationship.

In this research with teaching students, a significant relationship was seen between both variables. Furthermore, it had a unique impact depending on the gender of the young people.

Social skills allow for more satisfactory interpersonal relationships. They improve self-efficacy. They enhance positive self-image. They develop self-confidence.Social skills mediate academic and work success.They allow you to adapt to diverse and complex environments. They facilitate the ability to resolve problems and conflicts. They mediate the improvement of empathy and social harmony.

What are the best ways you can improve your social skills?

There are different forms, behaviors and strategies that revolve around social skills. Next, we will delve into the most relevant ones, in those areas that everyone is capable of enhancing a little more.

«We should spend less time categorizing children, and more help them identify and cultivate their natural abilities and gifts.».

—Daniel Goleman (1995)—

1. Active listening

To be skilled from a communicative point of view, it is necessary to master the art of listening. Being able to start a dialogue, but also to maintain it, as well as tolerate pauses and show an active interest in knowing what the interlocutor is saying to you.

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Thus, studies such as those published in the International Journal of Listening indicate that this skill helps the other person feel understood. This harmonizes the dialogue and also the connection. Let’s look at some tips to optimize this area.

Pay attention to your interlocutor’s face.Maintain eye contact.Nod with interest. Don’t interrupt.Ask questions to clarify ideas: «So, you mean, what…?».Control the impulse to make judgments. Demonstrate empathy.

Active listening is a cornerstone of social skills and It implies knowing how to attend to others with all the senses and empathy.

2. Good conversations

Among the most relevant social skills is effective communication or the ability to maintain good conversations.

Without them there would be no understanding or emotional connection, no agreements could be reached or good harmony with others could be achieved. Therefore, there are a series of points that should be worked on.

Good conversations start from active listening. You have to know how to respect and understand others.It is advisable to express yourself clearly and assertively.Avoid monologues. Provide interesting information that promotes intellectual and emotional connection.Effective conversation also involves asking open-ended questions to clarify ideas.Pay attention to the other person’s non-verbal language. Apply openness and flexibility.Try to enjoy the communication process.

3. Master non-verbal communication

One of the greatest experts in non-verbal communication is psychologist David Matsumoto. Your book Nonverbal Communication: Science and Applications It is a reference in this field.

Something that is pointed out in this work is that in everyday interactions it is important to know how to read the micro-expressions, gestures and movements of the interlocutors.

Non-verbal communication is an essential element of social skills because they allow you to “read” the emotions, sensations and attitudes of others, in order to respond and act accordingly.

4. Ask for help and make basic requests

This group of competencies includes slightly more advanced social skills. Many people have difficulties with “help-seeking” behavior or apologizing. In this sense, techniques that seek to train assertive communication will be very useful.

In this context, Another key aspect of skillful social behavior is being able to constructively give instructions or convey an order to another person to do something specific. Doing it respectfully and persuasively is key.

5. Know how to convince and persuade

Engaging in a conversation and trying to get the other person to change their point of view or behavior is a goal that everyone has probably felt at some point.

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The art of persuading whoever is in front of you to do something specific is a very useful tool in the area of social skills.

Knowing how to convince with respect and effectiveness is a skill that requires some tools like the following.

Express ideas in a simple, clear and attractive way. Master the topic you are talking about.Use good non-verbal communication to convey confidence.Empathize to be able to negotiate. Identify the other person’s needs.Apply the principle of reciprocity: both must win.

6. Empathy, one of the best ways to improve social skills

Social skills require a central axis that will enhance competence in this area: empathy. The effectiveness in understanding other people’s realities, feelings, needs and intentions is a decisive element to function in society.

Thus, works such as those carried out at the Catholic University of Eichstätt-Ingolstadt, highlight the relevance of training this dimension in educational settings.

Thus, to effectively understand and understand the feelings that other people harbor, it is essential to understand yours first. Emotional self-awareness is that link that acts as a starting point to develop good empathy.

7. Emotional regulation

Everyone, at some point, has transmitted a message aggressively. Anger or frustration can dominate you in any circumstance. Thus, It is important to use self-control and good emotional regulation when communication becomes hostile. These are the steps that will serve as your allies in these situations.

Become aware of what you feel without judging yourself for it.Name that emotion.Understand why that emotion is there.Find a way to regulate and channel it without getting carried away by that difficult emotion.

Always try to give yourself a pause and reason before communicating aggressively.

8. Know how to say “no”

Knowing how to say “no” to something that causes you discomfort, pain or that you process as an injustice, improves interpersonal relationships. To succeed in a social interaction you also have to know how to put barriers or limits in the face of certain messages and behaviors that have the potential to harm you..

It is important to know how to respond to messages that seem antagonistic to you with skill and assertiveness, as Sonia González points out in her book Assertives: 21 keys that will transform your interpersonal relationships with emotional intelligence. These are some keys.

Reflect on your needs. Be clear and assertive when stating what you do not want.Offer arguments as to why you don’t want something.Take care of non-verbal language. Offer alternatives.Don’t feel guilty about saying no; It is part of interrelational communication and treatment.

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Assertiveness is that gear that facilitates social skills by allowing safe, clear and respectful communication.

9. Plan

If you want to enhance social skills, It will be very helpful to know how to plan. Given the complexity of everyday environments, having good competence in this area will facilitate any activity, such as managing time or better articulating communication or problem-solving processes.

Know how to plan It is having a good ability to anticipate and prioritize realities with which to better face any circumstance.

10. Social skills and knowing how to cooperate

Cooperation skills act as social facilitators in any context. Thanks to them, these synergies are simplified with which to achieve objectives together and advance as groups in any scenario.

Likewise, it is not only essential to know how to cooperate at work; Relationships as a couple, family or friends also require this practice. These are the tools that will allow you to create more collaborative scenarios.

Know how to listen and communicate.Be skillful when transmitting information. Transmit trust.Listen to and evaluate other people’s proposals.Know how to reach agreements. Motivate. Reward others and validate them.Be skilled at reaching joint consensus.

11. Conflict resolution

Yes there are An aspect that you can never avoid in life in society are discrepancies and conflicts..

Far from being a threat, they act as opportunities to strengthen ties between groups to move forward with greater strength and resilience. Therefore, if you want to develop your social skills to the maximum, do not hesitate to improve your skills in this area.

Works, such as those published in Frontiers in Psychology, suggest that any transformative solution always requires the ability to resolve interpersonal conflicts. In this sense, good communication, assertiveness, emotional regulation or avoiding the blame game are decisive elements.