If you give a lot it is because you are a lot, no one gives what they don’t have.

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When our love or kindness is not reciprocated, we may feel the impulse to close ourselves off from others. But remember that, regardless of how the other person responds, if you give a lot it is because you are a lot.

Written and verified by the psychologist Elena Sanz.

Have you ever felt, in any circumstance, that everything you gave was in vain? Did you regret delivering, when you realized that it was not valued by the recipient on duty? The idea of a just world is not always fulfilled, and the ingratitude of others can lead us to want to close our internal flow. Let me tell you something: if you give a lot, it’s because you are a lot.

We are wrong when we measure the worth of our actions, or our own personal worth, based on external responses. We feel ashamed and naive when our good deeds are paid for with indifference.. But why do we place that power in others?

What’s in your glass?

Imagine that you are walking with a glass of coffee in your hand. Suddenly you stumble, lose your balance and the liquid spills. What did you spill: water, milk, wine? No, you spilled coffee because that’s what was in your glass. In the same way, each of our actions accounts for what we carry inside us.

If you give a lot it is because you are a lot. If you give love, loyalty, help and forgiveness it is because that lives in you. Loving people love. Hurt people hurt. Those who are happy, deliver happiness and those who expel poison in their words, only denote their inner poison. When you understand this premise you can get out of the trap of identifying with the actions of others.

If you give a lot it is because you are a lot

Thus, if you love and you are not reciprocated, you must be clear that your love does not lose value. If you trust and are betrayed, your trust does not become a negative quality. Whoever does not give love is because he does not have it within himself, whoever betrays is because he has betrayal inside him. Nothing the other person does represents you, but him.

So, ignore those who advise you to close yourself off, limit yourself or condition your way of being. It is very common for people to be governed by the “if you give to me, I will give to you.” Forget those useless haggling, I give you a lot because I am a lot; If you also give to me, I thank you; If not, I will make an effort to understand you.

That your actions are independent of mine, that I should not act based on what others will do but rather based on who I am. I stop paying attention to what is happening outside and start living looking inward. What do I feel? What comes naturally to me? That is my essence and I must be governed by it..

Always start with you

So, do not limit yourself for fear that others will not reciprocate, do not blame yourself for having given what was born from you. However, Make sure that this internal flow is always directed to you in the first instance. Love, and do it without measure, but love yourself unconditionally first. Trust others without suspicion, but first in your intuition. Be responsible in your work, but be responsible first to yourself and your own well-being.

Read Also: Abreaction, the emotional discharge associated with trauma

The only mistake we make is not giving too much, but forgetting to give ourselves first. Be careful of giving everything to someone because then you will be left empty. So, make sure to be your priority, to nourish yourself and fill yourself first with the love, forgiveness, loyalty and trust that you offer to others.

It would be absurd to ask the sun not to shine, the wind not to blow and the tides to stop. Likewise, it is illogical to prevent yourself from giving, loving, trusting and enjoying. You give a lot because you are a lot and this is true regardless of what they give you back..