Did you know? Couples who argue stay together longer and are much happier!

Everyone wants to find a love for life and be happy forever, without disagreements and fights that happen on a daily basis.

Is this really “happily ever after” or is it more like “bored forever”?

Experts guarantee that a healthy discussion is very good for the couple and also for each of the individuals.

Living in a relationship without fights is not the ideal recipe for being happy in love.

Researchers from the University of California and the Gottman Institute, United States, interviewed 79 couples and came to the conclusion that discussing It’s really good for the relationship!

They followed these couples over a period of 14 years, always analyzing changes in their behavioral patterns over time. They realized that the point is not just to argue: keeping calm and facing problems makes the relationship more consistent over the years.

Discussing the relationship is beneficial for the couple

According to the study, couples who argued immediately after the conflict stayed together longer. The study even highlighted that the possible success of couples would be the ability to discuss, argue and resolve issues together. However, there are ways and ways to fight.

According to one of the study’s authors, psychologist Robert Levenson, one of the different traits between the couples who stayed together during that time period was that when they did come to argue, for whatever reason, they communicated openly and discussed the question as soon as it arose. On the other hand, those who expected and held grudges and irritations were more likely to break up at some point.

Another characteristic of well-adjusted couples is that both tend to take responsibility for their actions and listen to what the other has to say and respect their opinion.

The bad side of fights

Also according to the study, couples who broke up had a habit of interrupting the argument with a useless or insensitive comment. They also tended to disregard their spouse’s opinion or say they were wrong or being illogical rather than taking the matter seriously.

According to another study by the California Divorce Mediation Project (Gigy & Kelly, 1992), the most common causes why couples divorce are not negative affections or constant fighting. Instead, the top reasons for divorce, cited by nearly 80% of all men and women, was the gradual estrangement from each other that takes away the feeling of closeness and makes the person no longer feel loved and appreciated. Serious fights (with physical and/or verbal aggression) and continuous fights were cited as a cause for only 40% of the couples: (44% of the interviewees and 35% of the interviewees).

Conclusion

Scholars from the University of California and the Gottman Institute have concluded that any fight in which the typical initialization pattern is aggression results in greater chances of divorce than those in which arguments are based on respect for the pair’s difference and individuality and that what defines the longer or shorter time to divorce is related to the nature of the configuration of fights between the two groups, that is, for those who later divorced, the pattern is the fight where the intention is to resolve the conflict. On the other hand, those who divorced early showed a pattern of conflict based on criticism, defensiveness, contempt and the silent treatment displayed when trying to resolve conflicts through discussion.

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See too:

10 attitudes that Happy Couples don’t count, but do in their relationships!

Article based on the website familia.com.br