Couple disenchantment. How to detect it in time?

Throughout a relationship, it is common to go through situations that lead to disappointment in the couple. Recognizing it in time is crucial to recovering the flame of love.

When we start dating someone, we promise many things, we don’t see certain attitudes in the other, we think that we are going to be together forever, etc. Unfortunately, those “vows” that we say, always full of good intentions, can be subject to unexpected issues or turns in life, which end up leading to a couple’s disappointment.

They can translate, for example, into frequent arguments, distancing and even ups and downs in the sexual desire of one or both of them.

These differences can become more noticeable when the couple decides to get married or move in together, since there are other times shared, other responsibilities and other moments to spend apart.

For many couples, this approach, which was so desired a priori, ends up being difficult and adaptation is anything but easy. These are times when many couples realize that they do not work or that they are incompatible.

However, They cling tooth and claw to a relationship that is only maintained by routine; a set of habits that also makes them unhappy.

Fighting bravely to overcome challenges will strengthen the relationship, is what you think. The problem is that both do not always “pull in the same direction” and that can lead to disappointment, dissatisfaction or disenchantment.

At that exact moment it is necessary to regenerate the love that existed at the beginning, before it disappears completely and there is no therapy or medicine to cure it.

Disillusionment with a couple does not appear overnight, but rather it manifests itself little by little. It is like an ant that carries breadcrumbs to its anthill.

In most cases, We don’t notice what’s happening because we’re too busy. with other issues, such as work, routine, children, personal growth, etc.

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Disappointment, experts say, It is a gradual process of accumulating one disappointment after another. If you stay alert and attentive to the following signs that appear in the relationship, you will be able to avoid separating and, above all, recover the magic that they had in the early days.

5 signs of couple disappointment

Among the most frequent signs we find:

1. They fight to be right

When a relationship crisis breaks out, the most common thing is for each of the parties to take their position and “die with it.” It is very difficult to “give in.” It is necessary to know that a marriage is not a battle that must be won or lost.. Taking just my approach will do no good.

It also doesn’t mean that we have to accept everything the other says, but it does. be more open to your partner’s points of view. The quickest way to disenchant a person has to do with showing yourself inflexible, by trying to impose your position without even listening to the reasons that support the other’s.

So, the next time you have a problem, try to calm down and both of you find a solution. Express what you feel and achieve balance so that both are satisfied.

2. They want to “escape”

That feeling of suffocation, lack of air or freedom is not good. Nor is it if one of the two never faces conflicts and all he does is slam the door and return many hours later.

Escaping can also mean spending less time with the other person. This implies distancing oneself “emotionally”, symbolically fleeing from what is happening inside.

You can sleep with someone every day and be much further away than if they lived thousands of miles away. The longer this distance, the more disenchantment and less problem solving.

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3. They blame the other for conflicts

From the moment frustrations mount, we try to find a culprit, and it’s not always ourselves. It is very difficult to look inside and accept our responsibilities for what happens..

This does not mean that we are to blame for everything, as they always say, we must seek balance. Don’t take the shortest or easiest route of blaming the other person, but don’t focus only on their mistakes, because this will only add fuel to the fire of disenchantment and disappointment. It is worth saying “I was wrong”, “you are right”, to recover that bond.

4. The emotion is lost

If you no longer wait to meet your partner like before; If you don’t care what time he gets home; if the tingling in your stomach no longer appears when you see it enter; if it doesn’t make you happy; If you don’t miss him when he goes on a trip or his presence may even bother you; You need to stop and evaluate what is happening to you and what is happening to both of you.

If you don’t enjoy each other’s company, if you prefer to do hundreds of things before being with him or her, you need to step back a little, realize what mistakes you have made and try to find a solution.

5. Focus only on the bad

If you only perceive the other’s flaws and weaknesses, there is no doubt that you are going through a couple’s disappointment. Even the smallest mistake that you didn’t care about before is now cause for fights.

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Why didn’t you pay attention to that before and now you do? In each case it will be necessary to investigate what actions and situations led the relationship to that point.

Being attentive only to errors does not allow us to see the good in others, who do not have them. If not, you wouldn’t have been in love in the first place. Furthermore, it is almost impossible for the other person to have changed all their positive attributes overnight.

If you feel identified with these situations, the ideal is for both of you to take some time to talk about how you feel and thus begin to look for solutions.. Of course, communication must be empathetic and sincere, where both can speak openly about everything they think and feel without resorting to disrespect or devaluation.

Likewise, understanding is essential to resolve disappointment as a couple; It’s no use being completely honest if you don’t make an effort to put yourself in the other’s shoes.. And, if the conversations always reach a dead end, couples therapy or separation can be considered; Well, the worst thing will always be to extend the current situation.