Children who are ashamed of their mothers

“Oh, mom, stop making fun of me!” What woman has never heard that phrase from her son, especially when he enters adolescence? Instead of feeling offended or rejected, know that every child goes through this period. “Children are ashamed of their own fragility and dependence”, clarifies psychologist Ana Maria Rudge.

When shame reaches a high level, you have to stay and be aware. “The ideal is to teach the little ones to deal with their reality from an early age”, explains psychologist and family therapist Daniela Paes Peres. Check out other tips!

The Main “Miscs”

At age 10, the child asks not to be kissed in public

Do not be offended. Schoolmates can be cruel – the child may want to spare himself the teasing.

Teenagers no longer want you to take them to school

Instead of playing the scorned one, be proud: he’s thriving. “Wanting to feel loved all the time can end up causing guilt in the child, who associates the fact of growing up with hurting her”, teaches Daniela. It’s just not worth letting him be cruel or disrespectful.

He complains that the dress you bought him for his prom is too short.

Noticing the first signs of sexual maturity in children triggers an unconscious regression in parents, who begin to behave like teenagers. If you
is not trying to look 20 years younger, don’t allow interference in your choices. Without being shaken, show that you are not only a mother, but a woman too.

When you decide to dance at a teen idol concert, he asks you to stop

Mothers are free and cannot allow repression. However, consider whether you’re just watching your son or have become a fan of the same teen group by invading his show. It’s also worth curbing your vanity by avoiding the effort of becoming friends with his friends. Chat and be nice, but without being the center of attention. Respect his space.

4 answers from educators that will help calm your heart

1. Is it my fault?

No, parents are not to blame. This behavior is typical for teenagers. “They want to be brave, independent and grown up long before they can fulfill that wish. That’s how they like to appear in front of their friends”, says psychologist Ana Maria Rudge.

2. At what age is it normal to feel ashamed of your mother?

This varies according to the gender and personality of the children. Girls tend to want to be independent from a young age, boys take a little longer. Shame in adolescence occurs due to the need to reject the parental role model and the way they behave. Young people just want to assert their group identity. “There is also shame related to sexuality, when the child is embarrassed to see the parents dating or does not want to see the mother wear more sensual clothes”, emphasizes psychologist Daniela Paes. The secret is not to despair.

3. At what point does this shame become worrisome?

When the teenager is terrified of being cared for. “In adolescence, it’s important to differentiate the normal attitude of ‘snubbing’ parents from the more serious distancing, in which parents and children become true strangers”, recalls Daniela.

4. How to react in practice?

With good humor and sympathy, without fighting, crying or despairing. Respect your child’s space. Leave the kisses, hugs and nicknames for intimacy. Behave yourself in front of his friends. You don’t need to be emotionally rewarded all the time.