Child sexual abuse in men: a well with horrors hidden by society

Although we like to think that our society is very advanced and that we have overcome many stigmas, on the issue of childhood sexual abuse in men we are still in the process of identifying the real prevalence of the problem beneath the silence that has been kept for so many years. .

Child sexual abuse in men is one of the most torturously silenced horrors in our most recent history. Both girls and boys are victims of them.although the figures are leaving us data worthy of study and that are in many cases surprising in the negative.

A study in figures carried out in Australia estimated that one in 11 boys and one in four girls have been victims of some type of sexual abuse when they were still minors. 97% of abusers are men, but it is also true that many of the victims are men as well. Specific, 26% of all victims of child sexual abuse are men.

Similar research carried out in the United States presents very similar figures. Which is still disturbing. A lot of Victims of childhood sexual abuse carry this experience throughout their lives like a burden that they are not able to get rid of.. Furthermore, in many cases the trauma affects in a disguised way: the person does not feel well, but cannot identify why.

Women are progressively and painfully emerging from the culture of silence which this type of sexual abuse is surrounded by. But male victims of childhood sexual abuse are now beginning to denounce what they have long silenced.

The culture of silence

For a child or an adult man sexually abused as a child, it is tremendously difficult to talk about this topic. Men are made to believe that they are destined for a position of power, the weak are the dominated.

Read Also: Virginia Satir's 9 best phrases to reflect on

Accepting the role of victim means for men to recognize a deep fragility, entering an emotional terrain that in many cases no one has taught them to explore.. A very cruel characteristic of male education that is instilled in boys from a very young age.

When a man confesses to having been a victim of sexual abuse He is exposing his “manhood” to attack, disbelief and doubt from those around him about his sexual orientation. In this way, his punishment is double. These children often react to abuse with disbelief. They have a hard time believing that “it” has really happened to them. The immediate reaction is to think that others are not going to believe them either.

The power of sexual abuse

Child sexual abuse in men is not so much a matter of sexual arousal of the perpetrator as an exercise of control, humiliation and power over the victim. When the victims are men, the incident can also leave a very deep wound in relation to their sexual identity, their masculinity and their future romantic relationships. Wounds, on the other hand, are very difficult to heal.

Sexual violence is much more than physical violence. The psychological abuse and the stigma that comes with having been abused is much greater than the physical aggression itself.. Understanding that this type of violence is a question of power is essential to begin to understand the real and deeper damage that is generated by childhood sexual abuse in men.

The sexual offender who perpetrates violence against a child plays with his adult power and always does so on a fine line. of the victim’s inability to clearly distinguish between consensual and non-consensual sex.

Read Also: 5 keys to dealing with people who always think they are right

This generates a feeling of guilt in the child that overwhelms him: to manage what has happened to him he needs much greater emotional maturity than he has. Hence the drama, hence the danger.

The hidden horrors of a ferocious patriarchy

Many people still find it difficult to understand that sexual violence carried out by men against men is an extension of patriarchal domination. In many cases, we believe that this is a system that gives men power over women, but in reality what it gives men is power over the weakest or most defenseless.

A truly dangerous game that our culture has tried to hide for too long now. A system that we must stop fighting based on gender and start doing it as human beings because it has been tremendously harmful for both men and women.

The psychological consequences

The psychological consequences suffered by boys who have been sexually abused have some common characteristics with those suffered by girls.. Depression occurs almost immediately in both cases. So are feelings of guilt and low self-esteem.

Self-esteem is tremendously damaged in all cases of sexual abuse. When the abuse is not exposed and continues to repeat itself over time, the feelings of shame, dirt, damage, abandonment and helplessness multiply. The child lives in a world that he cannot control and that also attacks him without him being able to do anything to prevent it.

If we add to this that, in the case of minors, these events occur at a critical moment for the development of their identity, the consequences are potentially devastating. When the victim is a child, all of the above A multitude of social pressures and conditioning patterns are added that prevent them from accepting that they have been abused..

Read Also: Learn the mental benefits of helping others

Furthermore, a deep gap is often created in their sexual identity. that they are not always able to save on their own. All of this prevents them from beginning to heal a trauma that resembles a sharp weapon that damages more and more as time goes by.