#ChegaDeHate: You are part of toxic internet culture. Let’s change?

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etox is the process of eliminating toxic and harmful substances. It is curious, therefore, that we use the term so much to talk about taking time off the networks, the famous digital detox. It makes it seem that being connected is so essential that we endure periods of exposure to one type of radioactivity, then move away for detox – and then back to exposure, in an eternal cycle.

Although the internet is mandatory for many – for work, mainly – it doesn’t have to be toxic and harmful. This is our responsibility, beings who inhabit this collective space and who make everyday life there often be one of terror and anxiety. “Alone, the internet is nothing, just a repository of things, people, content, products and the like. It takes shape from our actions and will always be a reflection of what we are, that is, if your internet is bad, you need to understand your role in this”, says Bia Granja, co-founder and CCO of Youpix, consultancy of business for digital influence.

“We would live in a better internet if we asked ourselves what we can do about it”

Coen nun

When it appeared, the internet had the purpose of reducing distances, bringing people and cultures closer together, making the world more unified. It can do wonders for each of us, but it has been used more as a tool of destruction. In the extreme, instances of bullying, cancellations and digital attacks go beyond screens and physically injure people. This was the case of 16-year-old Lucas Santos, who committed suicide after receiving homophobic insults. It’s hard to put yourself in the shoes of singer Luísa Sonza, for example, who suffers constant aggression, for whatever attitude she has.

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“The error is in the way we understand the internet. She brought us so close that we created the illusion that we have rights over each other. I complain because Luísa released a song that I didn’t like, because she dates someone I didn’t choose. It’s a chase. Instead of consuming the internet, because that verb puts you as someone with the right to demand things, you have to think of it as a means to listen, reflect and evolve”, says Manuela Xavier, a psychoanalyst who abandoned Instagram after suffering attacks in sequence.

“People hide behind the arroba. They say things that they would never say in person, that they wouldn’t have the courage. We are vectors of hate, but we need to solve this individually, in therapy”, she believes.

According to Manuela, the dark side of networks has only gotten worse since the beginning of the coronavirus crisis. “The fear and uncertainty caused by the pandemic affected many people. Isolation made us look in the mirror, and then we saw the demons that are within us. This is to be expected, we all have light and shadow, but we need to understand ourselves and learn to deal with it, ”she explains. “Before, we also had more escapes. I would go out in the morning and fight in traffic, that already reduced the anguish a little. At home, people put all their energy into the internet, ”she adds.

Monja Coen agrees that self-knowledge is the only way to transform our digital relationships. For her, lack is what leads people to become acidic and critical. “We react to everything immediately. But what if we stopped to understand why that subject aroused a specific feeling in us. I read this post and got angry. What generated my anger or my sadness? Often, the attack on the other is, in fact, an unresolved problem with myself”, says she, who has 2.8 million followers on Instagram and recently became an “ambassador of moderation” for Ambev.

The desire to be seen is so great that it’s even worth fighting with strangers in comments. “We all need warmth and affection. This is even greater in adolescence, hence the importance of paying attention to your child’s and children’s lives online. Remember: it’s not because you’re not seeing the blood flow that you’re not taking the other’s ground”, says the Buddhist nun and author with more than half a million books sold.

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She points out that there are many people in positions of power and with visibility who have rude and offensive behavior and end up becoming examples for many. “It’s easy to fall back on the argument: ‘If he can talk like that, why can’t I?’ We all have our little monsters, but are we going to feed them? We would live in a better internet if everyone asked themselves what they can do for it.”

where we want to go

When Daniela Arrais created the content agency Contente.vc, together with her partner Luiza Voll, in 2010, the internet was different. Even so, the idea was to generate critical thinking so that the space could be built consciously. With more than a decade of work, they question: what kind of internet do we want?

This question directs the production of content, the time we spend online, the relationship we establish with what we see online. Worth reflection. Stop for a moment and ask yourself that question. For you, what is the ideal internet? What is needed to reach it? What can you do to get closer to her?

“I think our problem is the difficulty of disagreeing with the other. We are not open to dialogue, but it is the basis of the interaction that the internet proposes. We prefer to live in our bubbles, enjoying and sharing content from people who think like us”, explains Daniela.

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For her, most people still don’t know how the internet works and that ends up causing losses. “The internet has been with us for so long, especially among younger generations, that it’s taken for granted. It’s like electricity, no one thinks about how it gets to our house, it just exists for us every day until there’s a problem. On the internet, many people don’t know, for example, that by cursing and fighting in the comments, you increase profile engagement. Also, it’s rare that anyone thinks about the time, money, and energy someone else spent producing content. Perhaps evaluating this would change our reaction to some things. By accepting the internet as an entity, we dehumanize it, forgetting that there is someone on the other side who could be hurt by what is being said, ”she adds.

The growing aggressiveness is something that Bia follows closely, after all, she guides content creators. “I realize that we use social media and online spaces with less pleasure than before. The energy of creation, curiosity and sharing has been replaced by fear and laziness, which causes our mental health to be shaken. Creators fear becoming an easy target for haters, bots, and the like. And we are tired of being always led by the algorithm to compare ourselves to others”, says the businesswoman.

This strategy of apps and their creators is intentional, according to psychologist Cristiano Nabuco de Abreu, coordinator of the Internet Addiction program, which researches the limits of our relationship with networks. “The polarization occurs because technology only shows one side of the coin. Furthermore, without non-visual aids such as body language and intonation, reading the other’s message is more complicated, and to make my position clear, I exaggerate. This combination turns the networks into a stage for fights. Tech companies know that the more anger they can provoke, the more money they make from it”, says he, who recommends using Socrates’ Sieves of Wisdom.

“By accepting the internet as an entity, we dehumanize it, forget that there is someone on the other side”

Daniela Arrais, co-creator of Contente.vc

There are three criteria to which the content or comment must be submitted: truth, goodness and necessity. Is what you are writing a fact? Did you check? Does he reach the other with empathy, is it a kind speech? It is necessary? An example: would you say to a person on the street that his clothes are ugly or that his haircut is not good? Probably not. So why comment on an influencer’s post? “The internet needs to be used with a clear objective: it is a vehicle, a means, not an end. This will change the awareness of what is posted and also of the time spent there”, says Cristiano.

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It is up to each one of us to take responsibility for an internet that we enjoy using, but also to charge the networks where we spend so much time with stricter positioning to prevent toxic behavior from perpetuating.

In a statement, Natália Paiva, Head of Public Policy at Instagram in Latin America, said that the app “continues to invest in the development of technology capable of detecting abuse and in tools that give people more control, so that they themselves can decide how, when , where and who can interact with them”. Creating a better internet for everyone – and with less hate – will be a long-term job and will require a collective effort, but it will certainly be worth it.