Can friendship exist after love?

The answer will depend on the couple’s experiences and whether they have overcome the grief of the breakup. Let’s see it in detail.

Can you really become friends with ex-partners? Can you continue to maintain a good friendship after love? Is this type of relationship healthy when love has ended between two people? Do you become friends or is it just a type of cordial relationship?

It would be a shame to think that after a beautiful relationship and part of the journey shared, there could be no bond left beyond memories. I refuse to think that it can’t be done better, I refuse to think that love is over, common words and moments together are also over. Surely there is some possibility of establishing a friendship after love.

The key may be to not wear down the relationship so much, to not reach a point where the wound tears the bone.. In not submerging the affection that has survived in hate, in saying, see you soon and in another way, instead of goodbye; in knowing how to distance and recover distance.

Maybe we won’t be able to call it friendship, maybe it will never be a close relationship again, but sometimes they are still people who know us well and there aren’t many of those. Many of them are also people in whom one day we saw something that was worthwhile and that something is still present, so that the bad thing goes away when the couple breaks up. Anyway, The answer is not the same for all relationships, each one in itself would deserve a chapter.

Are ashes always left where there was love?

Time, used to craft a story well, can be our best ally. To close wounds, trace scars and provide us with a new point of view in which resentment has dissipated: that in which we are able to recover a certain objectivity to calibrate the scale on which the good and the not so good are weighed.

Are there still ashes left? Maybe yes, it will be difficult to see our ex-partner as a strange person, it will also be difficult to see him as a friend. When we have shared a part of our life with another person, it will be difficult for the other to stop meaning something important to us. If they became my partner, it means that something united us. Sometimes, even if the relationship ends, part of the complicity of yesteryear does not have to cease to exist.

The fact that ashes remain is not a bad thing, we can take advantage of it to know that although today has changed, there was a day when something united us and we still have the pleasure of being able to meet up from time to time and savor a beautiful, healthy and fun bond with whom a day made us so happy and currently continues to give us moments that add up.

First I will have to take care of myself, sometimes I will need to get away and when I am healthy and all my emotional wounds have been covered I will be able to see the other person who one day was love, but today is only friendship. A beautiful relationship with whom we can share a part of ourselves, without already being, something essential and part of the day-to-day life of my life.

Positive and negative aspects of friendship after love

If we expect a friendship to be forged after love in a short time, we may make a mistake. As we have said before, The most common thing is that we need time to reorganize ourselves before starting to reorganize the relationship. Rushing is not a good advisor in most cases and perhaps continuing to maintain contact, when the feelings and pain are still there, can do us more harm.

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If one day love came to exist between two, it means that there is a connection, that the two people know each other, that affection made them come together and when the two people are healthy, why not continue taking care of each other and maintaining a friendly relationship. If the wounds are closed, it may mark the beginning of a new stage, in which friendship after love is possible, as long as you want it.

Not wearing out love so much that it hurts can be an important key. When we act badly with each other, there are third parties involved, there is pain, there is resentment, there is revenge… this is a barrier for any type of subsequent friendship, this is a brake for any relationship or bond after ending love.

Why not maintain a beautiful relationship with someone so special with whom one day I shared my life? Why would I want to cut contact when someone meant so much to me? You have the answers, heal and then give yourself the opportunity to make new connections with the person who shared part of your path. Intimacy will be different, complicity will not have to be.

There is no definitive answer

If we ask, at a general level we find two answers: “you cannot be friends with an ex-partner” and “yes you can be.” The mind tends towards dichotomy. To “yes” and “no”. But it’s not always like this. We should not force a friendship relationship with our ex-partner no matter how much you know us. Not all relationships end the same.

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First of all you have to close scars, and this takes time. Once closed we should experience the feeling of getting closer to our ex-partner. Many people don’t feel it. He knows that it was a time that has passed and he sees no point in establishing a friendship. So why do it? Life is made up of stages. This is not synonymous with ending badly. But rather, something beautiful has already happened and nothing inside us drives us to that friendship.

There are couples who, naturally and without forcing it, have continued with a beautiful friendship. But We should not insist on establishing a friendship relationship because it seems nice or ideal to us.. If we do it, it’s because we both feel it. If not, it doesn’t make sense.

Because another aspect to keep in mind is that many couples do not end well and realize that they would not be good friends either. So that, every relationship is a world and one should not generalize about whether or not we should be friends after a breakup.

Barriers that hinder a friendship after love

Generally, there are some situations that prevent or make it difficult for a couple who has broken up their relationship to be friends. The most commons are:

wounded pride

In this situation, one of the members has felt humiliated by the reasons that led to the breakup. This causes the injured part to refuse any contact after the breakup.

This scenario is quite common in those relationships where there were infidelities, mistreatment and deception.

It is also common for a friendship between ex-partners to begin because they share the same circle of friends. So that They are forced to frequent the same places and share experiences togetherfor which they are not prepared.

In these cases, Friendship, since it does not arise from a genuine desire of both, can begin to bother and it is very likely that the simple presence of the other generates discomfort because they feel invaded. In this way, friction is generated that makes it difficult to establish a healthy relationship as friends.

Feelings of guilt

Another situation that makes friendship between ex-partners difficult are feelings of shame and guilt, products from the way they were treated during the relationship. In this case, it is likely that they will shy away from any attempts at contact in the future.

Shared economic projects

If during the relationship you both made financial commitments together (such as starting a business or buying a house), it is likely that the establishment of a friendship will be compromised. Well, Money is usually a source of disappointment and conflict in these cases, especially if there are unhealed wounds and unresolved resentments.

A confrontation in the economic sphere usually causes great resentment, since not only the emotional sphere is affected, but also the professional and domestic spheres, as the case may be.

Child custody

In many cases, children are the reason that allows establishing a solid bond between ex-partners.

However, there are also cases where Decisions regarding children can cause discord in the ex-partner. Especially when it comes to their custody.

Contact shortly after the breakup

after a breakup Each member needs to heal their emotional wounds and take time to overcome grief. for the breakup.

If friendship is forced when one or both members have not fully healed, there is likely to be conflict and resentment. The time to re-establish contact is quite relative, we will only know that we have overcome it when the contact does not bother us at all.

Delayed emotional impact

It is also possible that the effects of the breakup occur in the long term as a result of unconscious avoidance or denial of emotions. In these cases, It is common for the separation to have occurred in an apparently friendly manner and they decide to be friends after all.

However, with the passage of time, one may begin to experience feelings of hurt or anger for the absence of the other.

To conclude, we emphasize that friendship after love is possible, as long as there is a genuine desire on the part of both and the wounds of the past have healed as they should. Also, let us remember that This type of friendship will be appropriate depending on the circumstances of the relationship and those involved.