I free you from me

Freeing yourself and overcoming yourself is not an easy task, and even more so when it is a lost love story. We make some reflections in this letter with which you will surely feel identified.

It’s not that bad for me, I assure you. I have discovered people who make me laugh, a lot. I have found myself again, in the mornings, when you are not at coffee time; In the afternoons, when I come back from work and there is no one under the blanket…

I’m not doing that bad, believe me. I’m fine, although I still see you for a split second in every coffee, every time I grab that blanket and look for something to lean on. I tell you: Being is not the same as being and you are no longer there, but you continue to be.

I’m fine, I have opened my arms to fill them with new memories in which you do not appear; and yet, I confess to you: I still don’t have enough to stop feeling cold.

Here you are no longer, even though I see you

Writing is the hardest and least brave way I have found to tell you that I miss you unconditionallybut what I need to live with me –as much or just as you do without me-. That is, if we can no longer be one, the best thing is that I start learning to be me. They have told me that, fundamentally, who has to be with me is myself.

And you, you haven’t been here for a long time, although I can still see you everywhere I go. You know, those who keep all the love that I continue to have for you because they owe us and we owe them all the happiness that we once were: because by On top of everything bad, we knew how to make each other really laugh.

It will be difficult to stop seeing each other, but The greatest advice I can give us is to be as strong as we dared to be when we decided to start.. I know it’s not the same, that there you were and I was there; however, we can do itI will be able to achieve it.

Read Also: Narcissists at work: toxic and unproductive environments

I free you from me

I have also been told – and this is the true function of this writing – that The best way to end pain is to release it. Therefore, without resentment and without hatred, I offer you all the freedom you need: I am not referring to something that is already clear, that you are gone; but to let yourself be truly, without guilt or remorse, without more crying.

For this, the best thing, at least for now, is that we forget about everything: about Sundays at your house, about the shared movies in which I always fell asleep, about the meals that we will never have again. Let’s let go of the dreams that we have not fulfilled, my bad mood that prevented your smile, the sadness, our joy. Let’s turn the page.

Let’s say goodbye to the cities that saw us together, to the first times that will always continue to be, to what you have taught me and what I could have taught you. Let’s start from scratch. I free you from me, in the same way that every corner that saw us one day manages to do and he doesn’t see us anymore.

I say goodbye without knowing how to do it at all, because I know that it is obligatory if I don’t want the farewell to be towards me, definitively. I’m sure you agree with this too: If we cannot be as we wanted, the healthiest thing is for us to be another way; and if there is no way now, the only thing that can cure us is for us not to be.

Read Also: Jeffrey Young's Schema-Focused Therapy

“Today, I release you.

I free you from me,

of my evils,

of those endless Sunday afternoons,

from the hatred of my birthdays,

of not knowing how to give you something

that you don’t have or that you don’t lose.

I free you from my disappointment,

of your karma,

of my news,

of that contradiction that invaded me

and what I represent.

I release you from my calls,

of my entanglements,

of my hair,

Chinese, long and disheveled

that got tangled in your fingers and it hurt.

I free you from my conscience,

d and the falls, l as risen,

of this escape.

I free you from those ellipses,

points and followed,

of questions or exclamations,

In short, all the spelling rules there are and to be had.

I free you with that door that you just closed,

for you to go,

so that you leave me,

so that you see me far away and love me less every day,

Even though it hurts me deep in my heart. “

-Mario Benedetti-