Borders in family therapy: united or detached families?

The structure of the family refers to the set of relationships, roles or functions performed by each member of that family nucleus (father, mother, son, daughter). Psychiatrist Salvador Minuchin, with years of experience in the field, points out that the processes of the family system are reflected in the structure of the system itself, and vice versa.

At the same time, The family nucleus is organized into different subsystems depending on the rules that govern the relationships they maintain among themselves, and also with the rest of society. Thus, we can find:

The suprasystem: it is the social environment in which the family operates: society.The subsystem: are the “systems or structures that exist within the family.” Here we find the parental subsystem (the relationships between parents), but also the fraternal subsystem (the relationships between children).We can also establish a third party: the parental – fraternal (how parents relate to their children, and vice versa). We will call this system.Limits: are the rules that direct the information that is exchanged in each of the subsystems and systems. That is, the rules that refer to how messages are communicated and transmitted between parents themselves, between siblings, and between parents and siblings. As well as the emotions that each of them experienceThe degree of differentiation: which is the identity that each of the members has (the identity of the mother, the father, the daughter and the son), with respect to the family group itself.

In united families there is a high feeling of belonging and there is little intimacy between its members.

What does it mean for a family system to have a clumped or disjointed structure?

We say that a family system can be defined as detached when The limits (the rules) that exist between the subsystems are rigid, that is, the barriers between their members are very marked, powerful and high.. As the distance that separates its members is great, most of the components of the family nucleus are physically and psychologically detached from the rest.

And when These limits between subsystems are diffuse, that is, there are few or no limits, we speak of a family that presents an agglutinated structuretangled and fused, because its members are physically and psychologically very close to each other.

What are the characteristics of blended families?

In a united family, the emotions and problems of each person are emotions and problems shared by and for all members of the family nucleus.which often leads to problems when it comes to feeling unique and, therefore, when it comes to developing a sense of individuality.

They have diffuse limits or rules.The borders with the outside world are rigid: members outside the family know little about the daily functioning of the family.They are strong families, but not very permeable.. They do not like changes and adapt poorly to them.It is difficult to maintain individuality within the family, so there is low differentiation between members. There is no sense of identity in each of the members. The family is everything, not the individual.They hinder healthy psychological growth in childhood and adolescence and increase the probability of developing severe mental pathologies (psychosis; personality disorders, such as borderline personality disorder; eating disorders, such as anorexia or bulimia nervosa). They are “open door families“There is little intimacy between its members, because the information is shared by and for all of them.They adapt little to the normal changes of the family cycle (for example, to the empty nest when the children grow up and leave the family home, activating processes similar to mourning). They present a high sense of belonging and a lot of fear of the destruction of the family unit if the borders are opened to the outside.Its members have an emotional need to stay togetherwhich in turn causes none of the parts to move independently of the others.They do not tolerate differences well between members.There is low differentiation between family members.

What are the characteristics of disconnected or separated families?

In a disconnected or separated family, the total independence of its members is usually the norm rather than the exception. They are families characterized by prioritizing the individual rather than the collective.

The variability among its members is much greater.There is a high differentiation between the members of the family. It is the opposite of what happens with blended families. Individuality is greatly encouraged here and collectivity is not tolerated well. Consequently, the great differences between its members produce little cohesion in the family. The members function very autonomously and with a disproportionate sense of independence.They tend not to communicate when it is necessary because the feeling of belonging to the family nucleus is less. The ties that connect the different members of the family are weak.

In disconnected families, their members tend not to communicate and are independent.

Dysfunction and normality

Thus, depending on the structure of the family, we will speak of dysfunction when the limits and boundaries are diffuse (that is, with excessive proximity between its members), or rigid (with insufficient proximity).

¿ And what are functional limits and boundaries? They are like a permeable membrane, which allows the proper passage of communication, neither by excess (agglutinated) nor by defect (detached). A membrane that preserves the identity of each family member.

The family structure has a direct impact on each of the members.; Processes that unite or isolate their members too much have a very high potential influence on individuals and the system itself, constituting a vulnerability factor against possible external threats.

Therefore, it is important to respect the privacy of each of the family members, as well as validate their emotions and problems; but also collaborate and create synergies that multiply individual resources in the face of the different challenges that each one decides or has to face.

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