Bipolar disorder and emotional relationships

Bipolar disorder is a mood disorder of complex definition. Its most salient feature is that People who suffer from it suffer rapid and drastic swings in their mood on a sustained basis. Fluctuations that prevent them from feeling really good – even if they go through states of euphoria – and that considerably affect their ability to adapt.

These changes in mood bring, among other complications, problems in emotional relationships. We mean that Emotional instability causes emotional relationships to suffer, especially when we talk about relationships; because it is difficult to be in a relationship with someone who experiences such drastic changes in their mood.

Maintaining an emotional relationship requires knowledge of the other, understanding, flexibility, but also a certain stability. (to be, in some way, predictable). Relating to someone who experiences episodes of mania and/or depressive episodes that do not exactly have to do with the experiences in your life is a stone in the road of relationships. Therefore, we will explain what bipolar disorder is and how it affects the social circle and satisfaction of the person who suffers from it.

What is bipolar disorder?

People mistakenly refer to changes in their opinions, thoughts, or feelings as traits of bipolarity.. That is, it is believed that being happy one day and sad the next is “being bipolar.” This is not the case: to be diagnosed with bipolar disorder, a series of diagnostic criteria must be met. Statistics tell us that only 7.2% of the general population meets them (Ministry of Health, Social Services and Equality, 2017).

At a general level, to have bipolar disorder you need a phase of very excited mood, impulsive behaviors involving large expenses, plans or radical changes, and little need for sleep for at least 2 weeks. Therefore, being very happy or sad one day and then not, is not having bipolar disorder; We can have changes in mood or disparate personality characteristics without it being a mental pathology.

The different types of mood episodes that people with bipolar disorder experience include:

Manic episodes: They are defined by distinct periods of abnormal and persistently elevated or irritable mood lasting at least a week. QThey can cause social or occupational disturbances when they are severe. The average age for people with bipolar disorder to experience their first manic episode is 18 years old.Hypomanic episodes: Periods of persistently abnormally elevated or irritable moods that last at least four consecutive days and occur most hours of the day on most days. Hypo means “low,” and is used in hypomania because this mood is less manic than the previous one. Unlike mania, these episodes are not severe enough to lead to hospitalization or significantly affect social or work functioning.Major depressive episodes: They are periods of low emotional and energy levels that persist for at least two weeks. Typical symptoms include a mix of intense and severe feelings of despair, hopelessness, sadness, and worthlessness or guilt, changes in appetite, sleep disturbances, agitated behaviors, frequent thoughts of death or suicide, and difficulties making decisions and concentrating.The mixed episodes: These are periods in which mania and depression occur at the same time. For example, someone may experience the extreme agitation and restlessness associated with mania and the suicidal thinking more attributed to depression at the same time during a mixed episode.

What do we know about bipolar disorder and emotional relationships?

Relationships with a person who has bipolar disorder are complicated, although when the disorder is controlled and the person who has it is stable, it is possible to have a 100% normal life. In this sense, People with bipolar disorder fall in love like any other person without problems, unless they are in a phase of mania in which the mood is so euphoric and positive that feelings are confused.

Therefore, on a general level, falling in love and the beginning of an emotional relationship are the same as in the rest of the people, with the caution of not starting romantic relationships in phases of euphoric mood.

Likewise, when we think about bipolar disorder and emotional relationships, instability in feelings comes to mind. That is, if we think about having a partner with bipolar disorder, it is very likely that we think about a chaotic and changing type of relationship.

Nothing could be further from the truth: today, With psychiatric medication to stabilize mood, psychological therapy and monitoring, the person is able to maintain a stable relationship. The relationship will have ups and downs, and perhaps deeper and more severe than those of another couple. The important thing will be how the couple and the environment manage them.

Bipolar disorder and changes of mind: myth or reality

The term bipolar is part of our everyday language. Jokingly or seriously, Many people wear this label when they are far from suffering from a disorder..

Besides, Bipolar disorder is not necessarily related to changes in opinion. Therefore, when we think about bipolar disorder and emotional relationships, we do not have to imagine a relationship in which ideas, attitudes, motivations and objectives are constantly changing.

However, It is very relevant to consider that the energy of a person with bipolar disorder can change from one week to the next, significantly. The level of energy or activation can be easily modified and this can affect the plans that a partner has, the desire to do activities or trips, for example. Being in an emotional relationship with a person with bipolar disorder involves adjusting to their changes in mental and physical activation, but if this is managed properly it does not represent an insurmountable obstacle.

What to do if you want to be in a relationship, but have bipolar disorder?

If you have bipolar disorder, you may already be familiar with the impact it can have on a romantic relationship. To give yourself the best chance of success in a new relationship, be sure to do the following:

Talk to your partner about the disorder. Do this before making a long-term commitment to that person. Describe what they can expect when you experience a mood change. It’s also helpful to tell them what you usually do to control your mood. Continue with the treatment plan. Perhaps the best way to reduce relationship stress is to follow your treatment plan. This can help minimize your symptoms and reduce the severity of your mood swings. Maintain an open line of communication. Tell your partner when you feel a mood change occurring so they don’t become alarmed. Also, stay open when the other person tells you that they notice your mood is “different.” Sometimes, Others can see changes in our mood when we can’t.To be honest. If you are having a serious episode and are struggling with your symptoms, don’t hesitate to let your partner know and ask for help when you need it.

What can you do if you are in a relationship with a person with bipolar disorder?

Although if it is controlled it does not cause major problems, you have to know how to properly manage bipolar disorder and emotional relationships. There are certain tips to keep in mind. First of all, Having a relationship with someone who has bipolar disorder means knowing this mental illness very well. It is necessary for both parties in the relationship to know what is happening, how it manifests itself and what to do during a crisis. For example, the partner of someone with bipolar disorder needs to know the signs that can anticipate an episode of mania or depression.

Besides, Daily stress levels have to be taken care of with special care, since they are a trigger for episodes in which the mood becomes extreme. When considering an emotional relationship, couples have to find a balance in the distribution of tasks and responsibilities, so that an overload does not occur in the person who suffers from the disorder. Because the demands and the sustained feeling of not arriving on time increase the chances of a setback or relapse.

For all this, People with bipolar disorder have to maintain a very controlled routine, with stable sleeping and eating schedules, avoiding sudden changes (Becoña and Lorenzo, 2001). They can go out partying and stay up all night, get up early, eat at different times on the weekends; But, if they begin to feel “strange,” they need understanding and empathy because they are not to blame for the suffering they feel or cause.

Practice self-care

If your partner has bipolar disorder, it is vital that you reinforce your own mental health practicing self-care. Through it, you can strengthen the relationship, while protecting yourself. You can also improve your ability to care for your partner. Some ways you can practice it are:

Talk to a friend or family member.Practice a hobby.Exercise regularly.Attend therapy. Do not be the only support for the couple.Practice stress relief techniques, such as mindfulness or meditation.

Finally, having a partner with bipolar disorder involves a great effort to adapt; On the other hand, the fact that the couple is involved in psychiatric and psychological follow-up also improves the situation. The more involved the couple is in the drift of the disorder, the less the relationship will suffer.. Remember that every day more progress is made in the control of mental illnesses and that, in principle, a bipolar disorder does not have to be an insurmountable obstacle to a relationship.

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