Beneath the armor hides a huge fear of being hurt.

Breastplates are the symbol of people who have suffered too much. The protection they choose to stop their wear, avoid tearing again and ending up breaking. They are your safety mechanism, your momentary rescue and your way of telling the world “Enough is enough!” silent.

Living with a shell is not easy because behind it lies the fear of being hurt. This is one of the most paralyzing fears that a person can harbor and it drives them to create walls, stop their heart and live anesthetized. But sometimes, the force of circumstances leaves no choice for those who are most sensitive or vulnerable. Life is tiring and exhausting to such an extent that they prefer to protect themselves and stop feeling as much as possible rather than experience the sting of their wounds.

The wear and tear that suffering produces

Life is not an easy path that guarantees us the happiness. Uncertainty, instability and suffering are conditions of its journey and we will face them better if we are able to anticipate and prepare for them. No one is immune to suffering, which is why it is essential that we learn to manage it, otherwise the darkness can devour us.

Managing blows and healing wounds is not an easy task, We do not always have the best support, resources or strategies and, even if we have them, sometimes we do not know how to use them. There are those who cope better with disappointments and unforeseen events, those who let them take over their state of mind and those who decide to protect themselves to put a limit on their suffering. Now, the method they use will influence their daily life in one way or another.

However, regardless of the way we deal with suffering, When he decides to stay by our side, it generates a series of consequences, both physical and emotional.. On the one hand, it traps us in its reluctance, in that lack of motivation and absolute pleasure (anhedonia), which if we are not careful can change our course towards depression or anxiety. On the other hand, it wears us out physically, exhausts us, using up all the energy we have. In fact, at deep levels the secretion of serotonin decreases and the amount of cortisol increases.

The false protection of armor

Each of us has our own armor, our defense mechanism, our personal shield to protect ourselves against pain. It is normal. Somehow, We have to keep our most delicate part safe and become strong against possible threats and setbacks.

The problem arises when these shells are generated and then not destroyed. That is, they take control of our lives and we end up turning them into a very conservative filter through which to observe the world. Walls that rise and isolate us, not only from suffering and uncertainty, but also from affection and any social experience.

In an attempt to protect ourselves, we end up boycotting ourselves in such a way that we block ourselves on an emotional level.. This not feeling, in order not to suffer, is an erroneous strategy that we repeat because at some point it ensured our survival. So, be careful, because when we use it we pay a high price: staying empty inside. This is that small print of the contract that we do not always read or that we do not always take into account before starting to set up barriers.

On the other hand, That emptiness translates into the absence of emotions, of that ability to feel alive and connect. Thus, it is not strange that in a short space of time we end up falling prey to what we feared so much, suffering itself. Because who said that not feeling keeps us from having a bad time?

Shells are unconscious traps that tie us to discomfort disguised as feelings of protection and security. That is why it is so important to identify and reflect on what our defense mechanisms are.

The art of caressing the soul

Often, Those who hide under shells often abuse the defensive attitude so much that they end up distancing others. Their fear of being hurt is so great that, even if they don’t want to, they push away all those who approach them with no other intention than to know them and, in some cases, love them. This happens because whoever protects themselves so harshly is also the victim of a crack in love, generated by some past experience.

So, To avoid reliving the sting of their wounds, they are furious like certain animals when they protect their territory. The other, any other becomes your enemy. Hence, even minimal contact with the armor of the person being protected can cause pain.

What is the antidote to reverse so much damage? What remedy exists to break the shells of those who have endured so much suffering? How can we help them undo such a spell? First of all, it is important to say that the shells collapse little by little. It is a process that requires a dose of love, understanding, patience, acceptance and of course, effort.

As we see, There are no magic solutions but there is the depth of connection with another person and of course with oneself. Thus, whoever interacts with a person protected by a shell must understand that most of the time it is not she who speaks, but her fear, that immense monster that possesses her and makes her believe that anesthetizing herself is the best way to face the situation. life to end suffering. Hence understanding their fears is a very important part of the relationship while showing affection, while demanding attitudes to improve are abandoned. That is, you have to learn to caress her soul, touch her sensitivity and make her feel welcomed.

Now, the greatest effort comes from the person who built the armor. That person is the one who has to understand that avoiding suffering in the medium and long term generates more and that although life is not always easy, suffering is another chapter that must be integrated into our history. To do this, she has to free herself from guilt and that hard and rigid attitude towards herself to embrace herself and make way for love. Because there is nothing more healing than embracing yourself when you are hurt and treating yourself well.

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