Be careful with those who speak ill of others: you will not be their exception

Many of us are confidants and friends of people who continually talk about the lives of others, as if some divine power had granted them that authority. They do not do it in a way that we could call “casual”, but for them hypocrisy is a common resource in communication, which serves them indirectly to reinforce their values ​​by seeking the complicity of the other in what they criticize.

This reinforcement works by opposition, if the other agrees with me on what I hate, they will also agree with me on what I defend, on what I consider myself to be. So, This habit is typical of insecure minds, which with words about others seek nothing more than to scare away ghosts.

Furthermore, people with this habit do not speak in a general way or referring to irrelevant details. They tell intimacies, judge and narrate stories that have been revealed by chance or carelessness, but that do not cease to belong to someone’s privacy and, therefore, to a place where no one should enter without the consent of the other.

How to detect hypocrisy in our environment

It is not strange that we believe that among our circle of friends there is no one who criticizes us. If we thought otherwise, we wouldn’t have them as friends. With exceptions of course, because there are those who like masochism in this sense as well. They love to be talked about, even if it is badly and with intention.

Now, normally we don’t feel too happy when we realize that someone is using us as a punching bag behind our backs. Especially if it is someone with whom we trust and with whom we share a certain intimacy. This happens a lot in couples, in which one of the two, in order to vent with his or her friends, it is not unusual for him or her to put the other one to shame at some point.

Taking this into account, assuming that we are human, it is too categorical to state that Anyone who speaks badly about others at any time is a hypocrite.

If none of us had a faithful friend, sincere support to get through those bad times, they would be doubly bitter. Therefore, Each of us can comment something negative about the people around us with someone we consider worthy of our trust..

Telling another person what happens to us with others is not hypocrisy, it could be said that it fulfills a vital function in the human being. But, obviously, there are certain red lines that can give us clues that we are beginning to live in an environment of hypocrisy.

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Hypocrisy reveals itself if you know how to distinguish its details

Any complaint about the disturbing behavior of others must go through a series of phases. They are not regulatory, but they are ethical. If someone does something that annoys me or bothers me, first of all it is good that we try to solve that aspect with that person.

If instead of trying to solve the problem directly, we begin to relate the failures of the person who causes us discomfort with other people in our shared environment; we begin to draw the red lines of what we call hypocrisy.

Telling several people around you how bad you feel about someone and then acting as if nothing happened at a social gathering does not fix the situation. Quite the contrary, you intoxicate others and yourself.

It may happen a few times, but if that becomes the general trend, think that you are acquiring a bad habit to stop your frustration. If you notice this bad habit in someone around you, it may be time to be alert, which is not being defensive.

When hypocrisy levels up and becomes true evil

We have said that there are thin red lines to detect hypocrisy, which is sometimes subtle and difficult to assume. However, on other occasions it begins to be a trait so evident in others that it is no longer worth being on alert. It is time to stop being delusional, no matter how much it costs, no matter how much it hurts.

As much as it may be hard to believe, speaking badly about others sells. It hooks, it plays. There are people who, due to their deficits in true social skills, use conversations related to the lives of others to attract and achieve the attention of others.

Completely elaborate lies, unfounded rumors, intimate details told at a bar table without the slightest decorum. Already There are no red lines, the boundaries have already been blurred: we discover that it is not only about hypocrisy. That person we consider a friend begins to talk about other people around us in a truly harmful way, without showing the slightest degree of regret.

That person we consider a friend begins to show his darker side with others, but we refuse to think that this can happen with others. us. Until we realize that he is speaking with real viciousness, in front of an attentive audience, about a person who has the same relationship of trust as the one you share with him/her. The time to be vigilant has passed: stay away from this person.

Living and surrounding yourself with authentic people is the reward for not practicing hypocrisy

No one is going to reward you for trying to get rid of the hypocrisy in your environment. Nobody is going to award you with a medal for not playing a dirty game that someone puts on a silver platter for you. Quite the contrary, you will run the risk of losing contact with certain acquaintances, you will be prey to doubt and many will question your attitude.

Setting limits on relationships with totally toxic people, who not only practice hypocrisy but also hurt when they can and want, is difficult, especially when that person has been part of your intimacy. It is no coincidence that in psychological abuse the one who walks away is never the winner.

The most convenient thing in these cases, for your own emotional health, is not to enter into an even dirtier game: do not try to reveal to others the hypocrisy of the other, each person must be responsible enough to remove “the blindfold” independently. and independence. You’ve had enough.

After all, Living without being surrounded by hypocrisy has an implicit reward in itself: you will live more surrounded by the opposite. Healthy people with clean hearts around you, you will have much more space for them. Over time, the anger will disappear and even a feeling of some compassion will overcome you. You will have gone through the duel of anger to reach the most absolute of indifference.

You will learn a great lesson: you have to be careful who talks and hurts behind the backs of others. Soon you could find yourself with that same dagger in your back, not knowing who made you bleed; but experience is a degree and you will know how to turn around in time to show your heart bravely in the face of the other’s attack. It may be that only at that moment is he aware of the baseness of his actions.

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