Be careful if you feel confused: you may be being manipulated

Have you ever been in a situation where, during a fight, you were sure that your interlocutor had said something, but he says no, that it never happened, that you are making things up or adding to things? If yes, unfortunately, we have bad news: you have probably been the victim of a special type of manipulation, the so-called gaslighting.

O awesome.club decided to go deeper into this subject and today brings you tips on how not to fall into this trap.

Gaslighting is a kind of manipulation, the main purpose of which is to psychologically force a person to doubt the objectivity of reality.

This terminology emerged after, in 1944, the film “In half light” (Gaslight) premiered, which was nominated for 7 Oscar awards and received two of them. According to the film’s plot, the husband manipulates the wife’s conscience, moving the furniture and other elements of the house, in such a way that she begins to believe that she has memory problems and believes that she is going crazy.

Someone makes you doubt your emotional state. Someone tries to convince you that you are not in the right frame of mind to correctly assess reality.

Someone tries to convince you that everyone is lying, which is why you misunderstand situations. Someone talks about their shortcomings constantly.

Limit your communication with the handler. When the psychological torture weakens, you will immediately realize that you are fine.
Discuss the problem openly. Explain to the person that his behavior affects your psyche. If the person wants your best, he will do everything possible to correct the situation.
Learn to defend your opinion. Operate based on the facts, argue.
trust your memory and in your feelings. Do not ascertain facts by relying on other people’s memories.
Write it all down. Carry a diary where you can record important facts and events, and soon you will have more confidence in yourself and your memory.
In extreme cases, ask other people who also live or work with you. Ask if they, too, see these “eccentricities” that are constantly attributed to you.
Try to stay calm. Don’t get into the manipulative game, don’t yell and don’t be aggressive. The sobriety of the mind will allow you to maintain the clarity of memories.
Pay attention to your fears (for example, being alone or losing your job). Often, the gaslighters manage to manipulate us with precisely what is valuable to us. If you can overcome your weaknesses, you will be much more difficult to manipulate.

If you want to see how the gaslighting works in practice, we recommend reading the book “A Garota no Trem” (The Girl on the Train) or watching the film adaptation of the novel.

The plot shows very clearly how the pressure exerted by another person affects our subconscious and how this can make our perception of reality change completely.