Avoidance: a harmful behavior that is frequently used

Turning your back on problems rarely solves them; Time, by itself, usually gets messy when it comes to undoing knots. However, avoidance remains a common defense mechanism. We run away from what worries us, we postpone what stresses us and we assume that not giving importance to what hurts will make it stop hurting completely sooner or later.

However, most of us have verified that the strategy fails, a lot. Because escape from what hurtsof what worries or worries, in addition to not solving anything, increases the emotion felt and of course, it intensifies anxiety. Sometimes even simply “doing nothing” is also an escape mechanism.

What can we do about these very common psychological realities? We analyze it.

Avoidance, a maladaptive behavioral response: why do we apply it?

Avoidance is a maladaptive behavioral response to fear and anxiety. We apply it in infinite ways and this is also a behavior that can become chronic in many cases. We do it when, for example, we tell ourselves that it is better to stop thinking about what worries us and focus on other things. Also when we procrastinate, when we let days pass before dealing with that responsibility, task or objective.

It is important to know that We are facing one of the most common defense mechanisms. These psychological constructs, enunciated by Sigmund Freud in his day, continue to be interesting to us. Firstly, because they help us understand those unconscious strategies that human beings usually resort to to avoid emotions or thoughts that generate distress.

Secondly, because it is something that we all do and, sometimes, it can be the substrate for various psychological disorders. For example, studies such as those carried out at Boston University in 2018 remind us that, currently, Conditions such as anxiety or panic disorders have, in many cases, avoidance as a trigger.

Types of avoidance that we develop most frequently

As always happens when we talk about defense mechanisms, it seems that they are those psychological constructs that others apply and never oneself. However, we must become aware of something.

We have all used avoidance at some point.. What’s more, we may even be developing it right now, but… in what way? These are the types in which it usually appears:

Avoidant thinking. It defines our custom of avoiding and not thinking about what disturbs our well-being.Avoidant behavior. This is another limiting and often even problematic behavior. They are those situations that one prefers to avoid because they generate anxiety or stress. For example, if I have anxiety about speaking in public, I will avoid all those jobs that require the latter. If I am uncomfortable talking to people, I will avoid any social situation.To procrastinate. Leave until tomorrow what I have to do today, postpone what I should be solving now, leave until the last minute what makes me anxious… Who is familiar with these behaviors? When we talk about avoidance, procrastination is the most common example..

What effects does avoidance behavior have?

Avoidance behaviors do not solve anything nor do they save us from those stimuli that worry us.. Sometimes, the simple fact of trying not to think about what distresses us increases the underlying discomfort even more. That is, avoiding what makes us afraid or uneasy magnifies our own anxiety even more.

Avoidance also subjects us to immobility.. The mind stagnates and loses that flexibility with which we can develop more proactive behaviors that would allow us to minimize stress. On the other hand, there is an interesting aspect, Avoidance behavior can also be annoying to our environment. When we begin to avoid problems, it is common for us to begin to experience some conflict with close people. Avoidance causes problems to increase. Last but not least, This behavior is the trigger for anxiety disorders, phobias, panic attacks, etc.

The need to deactivate avoidance behavior when faced with life’s problems

Avoidance is not a behavior that we should always deactivate in all cases. Sometimes, it is useful and necessary for us. Obviously, it is necessary to avoid what poses an obvious risk. However, When we begin to shy away from everyday situations that we should face, solve or handle, our daily lives are limited. That is when the discomfort arises and rises.

What should we do in these cases?

Understand the avoidance mechanism

The first step is obvious: become aware that we are avoiding what we should solve.. To do this, it is necessary to understand how the avoidance mechanism works.

Namely, when there is something that worries us or makes us uneasy, we avoid thinking about it and deploy other alternative behaviors that distance us from the original (and distressing) stimulus.

Small steps to manage emotions

Maybe in a month we will have to present our thesis or give that conference. This generates anxiety and we may at some point say to ourselves that “it’s better not to show up.” Instead of avoiding it, let’s do small simulations, let’s do a role-playing to train that exposure and manage the nerves.

There are always strategies that allow us to get closer, little by little, to the stressful focus.

Active coping

Avoidant coping does not solve; Instead, it condemns us to greater discomfort, even if it is delayed. The best alternative is to deploy active coping. How?

Let’s draw up a plan, an action mechanism to resolve what worries us. Let’s seek support. Let’s talk to a friend or a specialized professional and share those fears, those anxieties. The goal is to rationalize them and find security and relief. Let’s practice deep breathing relaxation exercises. Let’s do something every day that allows us to adopt a proactive approach and not a passive one.

As a rule, few responses are more problematic than avoidance. Nothing grows in that space, nothing is resolved if we choose to avoid it, to distance ourselves or close our eyes to what worries or worries us.. Sooner or later we will be forced to face that stimulus. If it’s today, much better.

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