Are there passive-aggressive behaviors in your partner?

Passive-aggressive behaviors define a type of personality characterized by exercising a very subtle and exhausting form of abuse. They use manipulation, veto needs, do not exercise personal responsibility and in many cases, this type of behavior ends up defining what is known as negativistic personality disorder.

We are undoubtedly facing a type of problematic profile with a pattern of behavior that makes coexistence very difficult. And even more so, it causes serious consequences on an emotional level. Are those personalities that can get excited about many things, However, they never amount to anything. They hinder any project in the workplace and establish destructive environments within the family.

We are facing a clearly dysfunctional type of reality whose indicators we must know how to recognize.

The passive-aggressive personality

Passive-aggressive personality disorder has been present for decades in the context of personality psychology.. It was described in the fourth edition of DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) however, due to certain problems in the diagnostic criteria, it currently no longer appears in the fifth edition.

As explained to us in a study from Michigan State University, these traits, these behaviors are usually related in turn to other types of clinical realities, such as narcissism or even configure a type of personality that, by itself, does not make up a disorder. Be that as it may, in what yes There is unanimity in considering the passive-aggressive person as someone highly complex and harmful, especially on the emotional level.

Passive-aggressive behaviors in a couple

From Indiana State University and through a study published in the journal Comprehensive Psychiatry defined what are the most characteristic features of passive-aggressive behavior. So, An undoubtedly striking fact is also the fact that this type of behavior is more common in males.

However, regardless of whether this behavior is more or less prevalent in a given sex, there is one undeniable fact. The moment these dynamics appear, problems will arise. One of the pillars where they cause the most conflicts is at the communication level.. They do not express. And what is worse, they often accumulate feelings of anger or rage due to their low self-esteem, which they do not declare.

By not evoking their worries out loud, they simply accumulate them. And this negative feeling ends up translating into deep resentment that makes them passively manipulate and punish their partner in the most subtle way. More painful.

Let’s see more features below.

1. “The silent treatment”

Maybe you have heard of this expression on some occasion. What is the silent treatment? It is very simple as well as illustrative. Passive-aggressive behaviors hide in their silence as a throwing weapon. As an edge of coercion. They are those moments when we ask the other person what is happening to them. And he or she answers us with “nothing”, with an expression on her face that shows anger and contempt.

2. Absolute lack of cooperation

It is usually very common, The fact of not taking responsibility for many things leaves these people in a situation of false power. His immobility gives him the opportunity to judge others. They avoid not getting involved in many things, as if wanting to isolate themselves in their own sphere of perfection. From where to criticize the rest. There is in fact a popular expression very appropriate for this characteristic: “It’s like the dog in the garden, it neither eats nor lets it eat.”

3. Pretend you are always distracted

It is possible that more than once, whether as a couple or with another person, you have perceived those people who say “they don’t listen to you well” when you talk to them. That When you talk to them they are looking elsewhere, as if attending to other aspects., without realizing that you are talking to them. It is a very subtle form of manipulation.

4. They hide their anger

It is another very common strategy. We know that they are upset about something, however they reaffirm to us that this is not the case.. They build a wall where they avoid any conversation, telling us that they are fine, while we sense their discomfort.

5. They are skilled artists of sarcasm

They may not tell us what is happening to them, what is bothering them. But nevertheless, they will display relentless gifts for sarcasm. There where to attack us, where to shoot small arrows at our self-esteem, at our balance and integrity. It is something very recurrent in the passive-aggressive profile.

6. Victimization

Another essential technique in any toxic relationship. Being people who do not know how to express their emotions, say out loud what bothers them or what they want, they fall, willingly or unwillingly, into clear victimization.. According to them, they are the least cared for and respected, they are the center of that misunderstood universe where we, their partners, exercise the worst possible arts to make them unhappy.

Causes that may be behind passive-aggressive behaviors

It should be said that today it is not yet known with certainty what determines passive-aggressive behaviors. As we pointed out at the beginning, today this disorder no longer appears in the DSM. It usually presents with other characteristics, other symptoms, hence the difficulty when diagnosing. However, what has been seen so far is that many of the following dimensions tend to lie behind this reality:

Attention deficit disorder with or without hyperactivity (ADHD) Narcissism. Drug and/or alcohol consumption.Stress and/or anxiety disorders.Depression Behavioral problems Oppositional defiant disorder Bipolar disorder Schizophrenia

To conclude, beyond what can determine these realities, the most necessary thing is to know how to identify it. Living with a partner who has passive-aggressive behaviors usually causes many disagreements and clear emotional exhaustion where, finally, we fall into distancing.

Let him know everything that hurts you. Give him examples of how he behaves and the consequences that something like this can have for the long-term relationship. Make it easy for them to seek professional help If there is no will to change, if there is no improvement, and you feel hurt, we will have to make a decision. Remember that Your happiness is always the most important thing.

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