Age teaches us to be more selective

Age makes us more selective and skillful when it comes to applying adequate protection filters. Little by little fears fall, insecurities expire and we learn to take care of our priorities, to know “who is and who is not.” Because maturing is, above all, taking into account what we deserve and fighting for it.

It is curious how the almost direct relationship between the number of friends or relationships that an individual has is very often emphasized to make a quick prediction about their happiness or mental well-being. This premise was based above all on a theory from the 90s that anthropologist Robin Dunbar stated, and which today is known as the Dunbar number.

According to this proposal, a person would need a social group of at least 150 individuals to fully develop. Now, this approach started at the time from “non-human primates” and their almost direct relationship with the size of the cerebral neocortex. Because when it comes to the always complex “human primates”, that is, ourselvesthe topic already shows delicate nuances that should be clarified.

The number of social relationships does not directly correlate with happiness. It is their quality that gives us authentic well-being, personal balance and that satisfaction that allows us to gain wisdom.. At the same time, As the human being matures, the number of significant social relationships declines and is very often reduced to a solid circle.where interactions promote authentic mental health.

Age and self-knowledge

We will start by clarifying another important fact related to age. Gaining in years does not necessarily mean gaining in wisdom, balance and temperance. Personality patterns evolve, there is no doubt, but they almost always start from the same roots, from the same substrate. For example, the individual with a “square mind,” who is not very receptive and is used to seeing the world through a filter of negativity, is not going to experience a sudden inner revolution just by blowing out extra candles on his birthday cake.

Physical maturity and psychological maturity are not the same. Aristotle himself maintained that in every character trait there is an excess, a lack or a virtue that will accompany us as we mature. However, only those who are capable of practicing kindness and self-knowledge enjoyed, according to the Greek philosopher, that virtue with which one will be able to connect with authentic happiness by knowing what is priority.

It’s easy to understand: depending on how I perceive myself, I will understand the world around me. If I am stingy, I will perceive generous people as wasteful. The defect in my character diverts my intellectual and emotional perceptions. However, whoever practices that self-knowledge where kindness and respect are essential, will apply an adequate mental filter where they seek and surround themselves only with that which harmonizes with those principles.

Having noble, authentic and enriching people in our lives not only guarantees better mental and emotional health. Aristotle himself pointed out that friendship based on virtue favors our moral development. Because A good friend is someone where we can also see ourselves through their eyes, to continue investing in self-knowledge.

Knowing who you love and what you want is not being selfish

Life is made up of moments, people and varied experiences strung together like pearls. It is up to us to be selective and give value to those pieces that, thanks to their intense shine, allow us to have a more beautiful as well as meaningful existence. Therefore, it is necessary to be clear about a very specific piece of information: Being selective is not being selfish.

Gaining age has many advantages as long as we have an open, intuitive mind. and that he has been able to draw appropriate conclusions from his own experiences. Sooner or later, one ends up realizing that there are too many things, that our personal luggage carries an excessive weight where it will be impossible for us to check that suitcase to continue our journey to happiness.

Maturing is therefore learning to apply psychological and emotional filters. Whoever dares to let go of certain friendships, certain relationships, customs and certain environments, does not sin from pride; On the contrary, he practices a fabulous survival mechanism.

Something we all know is that When we are very young our relational filter has no limits: We are receptive to everything and we try to absorb anything that comes to us. We want to experiment, vibrate, get excited…

However, as the years go by and disappointments and learnings come, we understand that To have a quality life, “subtracting” people, situations and activities is necessary. Staying with those who make us happy is being able to breathe in peace to continue growing, to continue maturing.

Someone once said that The secret to a happy life is not to run very fast or to climb very high. It’s knowing how to jumpin overcoming ups and downs, in finding refuge and inspiration in those rocks of the river of our lives where the most beautiful corners, the most solid and shiny, are found.

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