Affective isolation: separating emotions from thoughts

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No one finds it easy to deal with difficult feelings. For this reason, emotional isolation is often applied, a defense mechanism with which to silence emotions while rationalizing what happened by pretending that everything is fine.

Affective isolation is a defense mechanism that Sigmund Freud formulated at the beginning of the 20th century. It consists of something that may be very familiar to us: isolating a painful thought and reducing its emotional volume. It is taking rationalization to the extreme until an experience is stripped of the veil of sadness and pain.

Let’s imagine someone who has just been assaulted on the street. After that robbery and violent incident, he lets the days go by and every time they ask him how he is, he answers the same: “It was nothing, these things happen, I don’t even think about it”. Guide the mental focus to the cognitive (thoughts), but removing all emotional impact It is an unhelpful way of coping.

Likewise, it is important to consider that this strategy is often applied when someone is dealing with the death of someone close to them. The fact of telling yourself that everything is fine, that the important thing is to return to the routine and not get carried away by the pain, ends up giving rise to what is known as frozen grief.

There are people who, when faced with difficult situations, minimize them, avoid thinking about them, or downplay their importance by making others and themselves see that this event does not affect them.

What is emotional isolation?

We have all applied emotional isolation at some point. It is a very common coping resource that, although it can sometimes be used in a useful way, the truth is that many people apply it in an unhealthy way. For example, Psychological research tells us that it is very common to manage the threats that surround us by isolating the emotional component. This allows them to minimize fear to be more decisive.

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Yale University speaks in a study of the repressive personality. That is, there are people who are very skilled at repressing negative information by trying to enhance the positive valence of each stimulus, situation or experience. This can be effective and practical at times, but when someone makes use of this mechanism in every life circumstance, the effects are not so good.

Affectless experiences: emotional anesthesia is not always useful

Emotional isolation can be useful in situations of mild daily stress. Processing reality from a more rational and not so emotional level can allow us to better manage daily difficulties. However, In traumatic circumstances, this defense mechanism chronicles the states of suffering by not managing them as needed.

Roy F. Baumeister, a well-known social psychologist, wanted to know through a study how many of the defense mechanisms enunciated by Freud at the time were manifested in our current society. Affective isolation is one of the most frequent psychological resources in many groups.

Addicted people do this by minimizing the impact of their behavior and continuing to reinforce that addiction. It is also common for many criminals to use this emotional anesthesia so as not to feel the impact of their actions.

On the other hand, and as we pointed out at the beginning, it is very common for this minimization of emotions to be applied in duels as an attempt to adapt. Not feeling to continue with life, letting go of pain to continue workingfulfilling my obligations… Obviously, this coping mechanism (in these extreme situations) is not healthy.

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Emotional isolation in children, from emotional loneliness to physical loneliness

Emotional isolation is also common in children and is related to emotional abandonment or abuse. When children expect affection from their parents and what they receive is emotional coldness or suffering, these parental figures become threats. And one way to deal with threats is to turn off all emotional needs.

If mom and dad yell at me and humiliate me, I stop trusting them and I also stop expecting any affection from them. Little by little, they go from emotional isolation to social isolation. By stopping trusting (and needing) their parents, they stop trusting others as well. This leads them to not build solid social relationships over time.

Emotions are part of life, they cannot be repressed

Emotions are part of life and are the essence of our human nature. An emotion of negative valence cannot be repressed or separated from an experience like someone separating the chaff from the wheat. Doing so goes against who we are. Therefore, it will be of no use to tell ourselves that nothing happens when someone harasses us at work, when a partner abandons us or when we suffer abuse as a child.

Emotions are not isolated, they are validated, accepted and rationalized so that they do not block our lives. Proceeding to this dissociation between what happens to us and what we feel in relation to what happens to us, leads us towards various psychological disorders.

Avoidance, social phobia, anxiety and post-traumatic stress disorders are examples of this. Let us try, therefore, to learn to accept and understand every emotion felt, every thought and sensation experienced.

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