A child who steals, how to address the situation?

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Many children, when they are experienced with the concept of private property, steal. Well, in this article we want to talk about what we can do, as educators, when we identify this behavior.

A child who steals usually causes his parents great displeasure, but also concern and even alarm. It is important to remember that this is a child and that is why it is not good to rush to conclusions. He is a person who is in the process of formation and who, in most cases, has only given in to an impulse.

It is clear that this is a behavior that cannot be simply ignored. It is very important that parents guide a child who steals so that he understands why his action is not acceptable. Likewise, in some cases it is necessary to go deeper and investigate what may be behind that behavior.

Most children they are left with something that does not belong to them at some point. They do it in a naive way and their behavior does not project a criminal future. A child who steals usually only does it because something attracts him and he doesn’t think it’s serious to appropriate it. Regardless, this is a situation that must be addressed.

“Theft is always associated with the idea of power”.

-Fernando Savater-

A child who steals

At this point age is important. Before the age of 6, children They have many doubts about the concept of property, especially with regard to other people’s property. This is because at these ages the child is very egocentric; a natural positioning against the normal world in relation to the evolutionary moment they are going through.

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Therefore, the child only takes into consideration his own desires and needs. A child who steals before the age of 6 should not be punished, since you will not understand very well why your behavior is negative. What we can do is explain why he shouldn’t do it.

On the other hand, children over 6 years old usually work with a less rudimentary concept of private property. Therefore, If you do, you should receive some kind of sanction. and a clear establishment of the limits that should not be exceeded. The indicated thing is to carry out these actions:

stay calm and handle the situation calmly.Confront the situation immediately. You should never “leave it at that size”, postpone the matter or minimize the situation.Apply consequences. This behavior generates effects that the child must face. It is not enough to point out that what he did is wrong.

Why does a child steal?

A child who steals, in most cases, only gives in to temptation. However, there are also some factors that become stimuli or triggers for this situation. For example, If a child takes something that does not belong to him and parents do not educate his behavior, they could be reinforcing it.

In addition, We must not forget that children usually imitate what they see in adults. If the child sees that we also “steal” – for example, taking material from the office to go home -, it is likely that he will end up imitating us – for example, taking material that is from school -.

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There is also the case of children in which the parents do not have enough money to satisfy their child’s material desires. Sometimes they must give up a very intense desire to have something that strongly attracts their attention and they cannot achieve it, so they steal.. Likewise, there are times when their peer group steals and they act like this to feel integrated.

Theft and lack

Of course, there are also cases in which more complex psychological aspects come into play in theft. In this regard, there is an interesting explanation offered by Donald Winnicott, who establishes a direct relationship between antisocial behaviors and emotional deprivation during childhood.

Winnicott points out that, faced with emotional deprivation, the child usually chooses one of two alternatives: either annihilates his true self, or convulses society until he obtains protection from it. Deprivation is a state in which the child feels deprived of family care.

Lustgarten de Canteros says that, in these cases, antisocial behavior “It is a call to be registered by the other, constituting a search for the home care that one feels they have lost.”. Therefore, before imposing sanctions or limits on a child who steals, it is also important to ask whether the child is receiving the attention and affection that he needs.