THE anxiety it is very hard at times, not only for the people who have it, but also for those who live with those who suffer from it. If you are one of these people, you will know full well that the experience of anxiety is bad enough, and you would do anything to alleviate it for the one experiencing it.

Whether we’re struggling with anxiety, confidence, or body image, there are things we all need to make the world a little safer, a little more predictable, and a little less scary.

So keep scrolling and see the 9 things you need to know if you’re dating someone with ANXIETY

1. Talk about anxiety at the right time.

In the midst of an anxiety attack, it won’t make any sense to talk about it, so it’s best not to ask what’s going on or if the person is okay. Because it’s obvious that she isn’t. And yes, it feels like the world is falling apart.

Ask her if she wants to go somewhere else, maybe somewhere quieter or more private. Don’t panic or do anything that might give her the impression that she needs attention and care.

Take a walk with her or just hang out with her. The crisis will pass soon, and when it does, she will be able to talk to you about what happened. But wait for the right moment, and then just listen.

2. It’s great to be around.

Due to the need to stay safe and prepare for the next time anxiety strikes, people struggling with anxiety often have a plan and will have worked hard to ensure it works for everyone involved, not just them. They will make sure everything is organized to keep everyone safe, happy, punctual and calm.

Look at the good things they do—there are many! Let her know that you love her for who she is and always be around.

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3. They have no control over their anxiety

There is a primitive part of our brain that is designed to detect threats. For some people, it activates much earlier and with much more intensity than for others. In doing so, the brain stimulates the body with cortisol (the stress hormone) and adrenaline so the body is ready to run or fight for its life.

This fight-or-flight response is in all of us. The “start” button is a little more sensitive for people with anxiety.

4. They really appreciate it when you try to understand how they feel.

It’s different to be able to talk about anxiety without having to explain it. On days when you feel like you don’t have the ability to talk about it, it means a lot that you just “get it”. If you’ve tried to understand everything you can about what it means to have anxiety, that’s enough.

SEE ALSO: How to Love Someone Who Has DEPRESSION

5. Sometimes they say “no”, but don’t take it personally.

People with anxiety are very aware of everything that is going on — smells, sounds, people, possibilities. It’s exhausting when your attention is focused on so many things.

Don’t take “no” personally. Just because they don’t want to do something right now doesn’t mean they don’t want to be with you. Keep offering help, but be understanding and say “it’s okay” if they don’t accept your offer. They are saying no to a possible anxiety attack, not to you.

6. They need people around them who are compassionate.

Talk about the things they like. There will be times when people with anxiety will feel that they are their anxiety and a source of difficulty. Specifically, I’m talking about when plans need to be changed, when you need to reserve a few rows behind the front row, turn down the radio volume, or take the long way home.

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7. Your character is not defined by your anxiety.

We all have our limits, but people with anxiety are more aware of theirs. Despite this, they are constantly dealing with things that push them against their limits.

That’s courage, and people with anxiety have it in abundance. They are strong, intelligent, and sensitive—they will be as sensitive to you and your needs as they are to their environment. That makes them pretty awesome!

8. They won’t always react to your anxiety in the same way.

Anxiety can be different from moment to moment. Sometimes she looks like you would expect from an anxiety attack; at other times, she appears angry, depressed, or frustrated. Remember this and don’t take it personally.

9. They know that their anxiety doesn’t always make sense—and that’s what makes it so difficult.

Explaining that there is nothing to worry about or that they should “get over it” means nothing, because they already know that. Be understanding and, above all, try to be present.

Anxiety is a challenge and there is often nothing better than having someone by your side, down to earth and available to get through it without trying to change you.