9 things to watch out for if you date a person with anxiety

Anxiety is a challenge, isn’t it? Not just for the person who is going through this, but also for you – who is the person who is next to the one who is suffering.

It is emotionally draining for both sides and most of the time it is also physically demanding.

Often plans must be changed to accommodate anxiety. Some situations should be avoided at times. Emotional needs can change daily. There is so much to do and it can be a little difficult to understand it all.

We understand that it’s confusing most of the time, so we brought you today 9 things to watch out for if you’re dating a person with anxiety:

1- He/she is more than just an anxious person

Nobody likes to be defined by an attribute of themselves. If you really want to support someone with anxiety, remind them that you appreciate the person they are regardless of whether they have anxiety or not. Recognize that he/she is much more than a person who is facing this type of circumstance.

He/she is a human being with all the complexities and qualities that everyone else has. Please remember this.

2- He/she may get tired more easily than you

Anxiety is exhausting. It seems like the only people who understand how exhausting it is are those who suffer or have suffered from anxiety. Anxiety causes people to live in hypertensive states. They are always on alert, their mind rarely relaxes, and their body is always ready to fight or flee.

With hypertension comes fatigue. Situations that people who don’t have anxiety can naturally do, are much more difficult for those who suffer from this problem.

Have you ever had a stressful work week where every day you wake up thinking “I need to take a vacation as soon as possible…”? An anxious person suffers from it every day. Everything is very tiring.

Keep this in mind the next time you tell a person with anxiety that they are lazy and need to be more productive.

3- He/she can get overwhelmed easily

As with the aforementioned hypertensive state, people with anxiety tend to become overwhelmed with their tasks more easily. They are aware of everything happening around them. Every noise, every action, every smell, every light, every person, every object.

For a person who lives on high alert, a situation that doesn’t seem so overwhelming (for example, several people talking in a room at the same time) can make their head explode.

4. He/she is aware that his/her anxiety is often irrational

Being aware of irrationality does not stop anxious thoughts. That doesn’t stop you from thinking of the hundreds of different scenarios that run through your head at all times. If it were as easy as saying “okay, that’s irrational – don’t worry about it,” most people living with anxiety would have no more problems with it.

One of the worst things about anxiety is knowing that it is irrational. It comes when you least expect it. And you keep saying it’s irrational isn’t going to help – he/she already knows that.

What he/she needs is your compassion, understanding and support – very rarely does he/she need advice on how irrational and pointless his/her anxiety is (not least because it isn’t even advice).

5. He/she can tell you how he/she is feeling (you just really need to listen)

Having anxiety does not mean that he or she is unable to express or communicate. He will open up to you, just take the time to know how he feels.

So, the next time you feel that he/she is unable to speak for himself/herself, just shut up and give him/her the opportunity to express what he/she is feeling.

6- He/she doesn’t need someone constantly asking “are you ok?”

When you see that he/she is going through a moment of anxiety, please don’t ask “are you ok?”. You already know the answer.

Your heart is beating At 200 km/h, your hands feel like a waterfall, your chest is tight, your shoulders are vibrating with all the adrenaline that is going through your body and still you arrive and ask “what have you got? it’s OK?”. It’s chipping right?!

Use the following examples:

• “Love, pay attention to your breath”
• “Count how many times you took a breath in 5 minutes”
• “Would you like me to take you to a quieter/calmer/safer place?”
• “I’m here if you need me”
• “You’re having an anxiety attack, but it won’t last forever. You’ve been through this before, you’ll be through it again and I’m here with you”

But much more important than saying that, if he told you he wants to be alone, obey! He/she is experienced in treating anxiety; Let him/her overcome it however he/she wants.

7- He will thank you for everything you do for him/her

Anxiety is very difficult for everyone involved, which means it is for you too. He/she understands this, he/she understands your irrationality; He/she understands and knows everything you have done to help him/her.

If there’s one thing you’ll find in people with anxiety in common, it’s that they think too much. Including the people around them. Your support will not be rejected – no matter how simple you may think it was.

8- He/she will find it hard to let you go

Part of the anxiety is the constant about thoughts. But to really understand this, we need to understand where the overthinking stems from.

When someone is faced with a traumatic incident in their life, which most people with anxiety have had more than their fair share of, memory (if not properly addressed) can end up storing in part of the limbic system of the brain that the mind uses. to determine if we are at risk.

The memory of anxiety is stored in a completely different way than in a region of the brain that our day-to-day memories are stored. This causes the brain to react differently to ordinary memories.

The brain is actively seeking to establish links between the traumatic memory and the current situation it is in (hence the hypertensive state).

When the brain is faced with this cycle, leaving things/people can be very difficult. The person with anxiety can’t always just “let you go”, their brain won’t let them do that.

So, understand and stay a little longer on their side.

9- It is very difficult for him/her to get out of his/her comfort zone

We all have a comfort zone. It doesn’t matter if we suffer from anxiety or not. Breaking out of that comfort zone can be difficult for even the most well-adjusted people, so imagine how challenging it is for a person suffering from anxiety?

This is not to be confused with the feeling that those with anxiety do not like to change or step out of their comfort zones, because they are likely to thrive when they are actually in the process of doing so.

Remember to have a little more patience and understanding with them. He/she is trying, he/she really is!