9 Proven Ways to Get What You Want

You know those new year plans that never come true? From this month (and once and for all) you will, yes, carry out all your projects. Researchers have discovered (and we reveal!) foolproof ways to keep the motivation burning that can make incredible changes in your life

1. Trace one goal at a time

This story of saying you’re going to take the English course firmly, do volunteer work, learn belly dancing, all at the same time and for yesterday, we know how it ends. You can even start, but you hardly complete all the plans. That’s when you don’t give up for good. Faced with excessive pressure, desire loses strength until it runs out. “The human mind has a limited capacity for self-control, so we shouldn’t even try to do too many things at once,” explains Roy Baumeister, a psychologist at Case Western Reserve University in Cleveland (USA). One experience illustrates well how focusing on more than one objective can be a factor of deconcentration: two groups of people were presented with the challenge of solving a complicated puzzle. Before the test, however, a plate of chocolate biscuits was placed in front of only one of them, which no one was allowed to eat. This group had less mental strength to carry out the task than the group that didn’t even see the treat.

How to get there: Make a timeline for achieving each goal. Adopt one new habit a day—walking every morning, for example—and focus on what you want. After a few weeks, your behavior will naturally change and then, yes, you can think about the next goals, one at a time.

2. Set achievable goals

Nothing is more discouraging than imposing unrealistic deadlines, whether to complete a task or to lose weight. Let’s say you decide to lose 5 kilos in a week. In addition to being a very difficult goal to achieve, your health would certainly be affected. “The best thing is to extend this period and celebrate, for example, a loss of between 600 and 800 grams per week”, advises Vanderli Marchiori, director of Associação Paulista de Nutrição, in São Paulo (SP). “In addition to being within the recommended by the World Health Organization (WHO), this result is perfectly possible.”

How to get there: celebrate every victory, however small. Psychologists guarantee that this is the best food for your self-confidence, which is responsible for taking your projects, such as diet and exercise, forward. Keep in mind, too, that the results vary according to individual differences, that is, you will hardly be able to lose weight in record time, like your friend.

3. Focus on the present

Knowing that something will benefit you in the future is not always encouraging enough. Experts in exercise psychology guarantee: successful people have learned to shift their focus from the future to the present. Instead of thinking “in February, my body will be beautiful to parade in a bikini”, try to be more immediate and imagine that “this afternoon, I will be in a good mood because I walked in the morning”. Leonard Verea, a psychiatrist specialized in psychosomatic medicine and clinical hypnosis in São Paulo (SP), signs below: “Always thinking about the here and now can help make dreams come true faster.”

How to get there: imagine a reward for today. Realizing that you feel better every time you do what you planned will make you want to repeat your success. Few things are more encouraging.

4. Imagine the results

Dreaming (waking) is everything, really. Visualize yourself in a tight, sexy dress. An American specialist in mental training argues that the difficulty we sometimes have in reaching our goals comes from the images of failure that populate our minds. That is, nothing is more counterproductive than negative thoughts.

How to get there: fantasize freely, because you are the director of your mental movie. But, attention: in this production, only happy images fit. The more detailed the “roadmap”, the greater the chances that your projects will actually become reality.

5. Stop comparing yourself to others

Successes are often the result of personal improvement, say sports psychology consultants. Planning to read a book a month, for example, in addition to being a realistic goal, will only contribute to your personal and professional enrichment. Already wanting to have the body of the step teacher will certainly bring frustration. That’s because you may not have the same build or exercise three hours a day as she does. I mean, comparing yourself to others is unproductive, it won’t improve your life at all.

How to get there: ask yourself why you want to achieve a certain goal and make sure it’s not just a fantasy, but a firm purpose to be healthier and live happier.

6. Believe in success and it will come

The best way to detonate motivation is to convince yourself that your efforts were in vain. An experiment carried out at the University of Illinois (USA) proves this: a group of sedentary students was proposed an eight-minute exercise on an ergometric bicycle. Although they all performed the same, half of them the teacher said they were in terrible shape, while the rest said exactly the opposite. Result: in the following exercise, those who were supposedly in better physical condition reported that they felt less tired and had greater control over their bodies.

How to get there: look for evidence of your progress, however small. If your triceps muscles are still not as defined as you intended, consider that the results haven’t really (yet!) reflected your efforts, but that they will soon become evident. Remember all the successes and be sure to praise the progress that resulted from your effort. The secret is not just believing that you can succeed, but that you are already succeeding. Never be discouraged.

7. Make your life easier

Removing the obstacles that stand in the way of achieving your goals is the best thing you can do for yourself. Let’s say you really want to work out, but you end up giving up just thinking about finding a gym that isn’t crowded at the time that suits you best, or that you’ll have to attend it very early in the morning and, therefore, you’ll need to take a backpack with clothes and makeup to go straight to work. Instead of simply postponing your plans, work out at home. A recent study conducted over 15 months showed that people who exercised at home maintained an average weight loss of more than 12 kilos, while those who worked out in a group lost about 8 kilos. It’s just not worth getting discouraged.

How to get there: there’s nothing wrong with taking shortcuts, as long as you don’t stray off the main trail to the point of getting lost. If your intention is to eat better, stock your pantry with healthy foods instead of forcing yourself to go to the supermarket after arriving from work dead of hunger and realizing that there is nothing good to eat. “The risk of you ordering a pizza or eating unhealthy things is enormous”, guarantees nutritionist Vanderli Marchiori. “Therefore, always have juices in long-life packaging at home, pre-prepared vegetables, dried fruits, everything easy to store for a long time.”

8. Stop making excuses

There’s no shortage of justification to explain the purchase of the expensive dress (“Anyway, I’m going out with that cat!”) or arriving for the meeting 20 minutes late (“The traffic was terrible”). The trick to getting around these obstacles is to spot the trap before you fall into it.

How to get there: put away the old excuses. If you tend not to be punctual, set your priorities in advance and eliminate less important appointments. As for compulsive shopping, try to be creative with the clothes you have instead of rushing to the mall whenever you’re not sure what to wear.

9. Be patient

Changes don’t happen instantly, especially if you’re trying to lose weight or say goodbye to bad habits. Nobody stops biting their nails or manages to lose 5 kilos overnight. It’s a slow process and you must work every day to succeed.

How to get there: don’t feel guilty when you don’t reach a goal. If you’re trying to stop biting your nails but find yourself caught up in the dumps every time you feel anxious, take a deep breath and turn your mind to other things. Over time, you will notice that paying attention to the bad habit to get rid of it pays off.