9 gaslighting phrases that make you question your reality

The phrases gaslighting that make you question your reality do not come in manuals on family or couple relationships. Nobody warned us that people were capable of manipulating others, that there are those who enjoy making others doubt their feelings, behaviors or thoughts. However, this is a very common and highly harmful form of psychological abuse.

Although it is true that, sometimes, it is paradoxical that we have to use Anglicisms to define certain behaviors, we do not fail to admit that, on this occasion, the choice of this word is very appropriate. Gaslight or dying light (1944) was that film in which a Machiavellian Charles Boyer made his wife, Ingrid Bergman, believe that he was losing his mind.

That anguish, the permanent doubt of the female character questioning herself until almost reaching the edge of madness, showed us how far the art of psychological abuse can go. 73 years later, Dr. Stephanie Sarkis published an article that went viral when she told us about the signs of gaslightinga practice that appears in almost any human relationship.

It is practiced by many people with their partners, also between co-workers and of course it can also appear between parents and children. It is important in all cases to recognize the mechanisms of this type of abuse. and therefore, it will be interesting to take into account their communication style.

9 gaslighting phrases that make you question your reality

Research works such as those carried out at Harvard University, for example, remind us that he gaslighting It is a form of abuse of power. It is practiced by those figures who seek above all to subjugate others. To do this, they design, apply and evoke a type of abuse to undermine the identity of the other, invalidate them emotionally and feed them with insecurities.

Although it is true that we almost always relate this practice within relationships, it can be quite common in work settings. Many co-workers can use phrases gaslighting and thus be able to keep you under control or even minimize your performance and thus get a competitor out of the way. These are undoubtedly very complex and also stressful situations.

Therefore, it can help us to know those expressions that a person usually uses. gaslighter. We analyze them.

1. “I know what you’re thinking, it shows on your face.”

The psychological manipulator and architect of gaslight He is a supposed expert in mentalism. That is to say, he will make us believe that he can guess what we think, that we are little more than an open book and that everything can be seen in our expression.

Even more, The simple fact that they tell us “that they know what we think” is an attempt at domination. Because in fact it doesn’t matter what we have in mind. Your internal reality does not matter, only what the other person believes matters, no matter how absurd it may seem.

2. “What’s wrong with you is that you are too sensitive.”

between the phrases gaslighting To question your reality, you cannot miss “you are too sensitive.” With her, They try to minimize our needs by making us believe that we resort to exaggeration or that we are little more than drama kings.

3. “Everything that happens to me is your fault.”

Projecting guilt onto other people’s shoulders is a resource as sophisticated as it is recurring in every manipulator. However, no matter how classic it is, it always makes an impact.

With the projection of guilt, the self-esteem of others is boycotted and the other person is made to feel increasingly insecure in their behavior.

4. “We already talked about that, don’t you remember?”

Denying something that you know is evident is another resource of the expert in gaslight. Telling ourselves, for example, that we have already had certain conversations, that we reached certain agreements or even more so that we said something specific (when it is not true) are very common harmful strategies in these cases.

5. “You are overwhelming me with your obsessions!”

between the phrases gaslighting of a psychological abuser, expressions such as “You are crazy, you overwhelm me with your meaningless nonsense or you are neurotic.” With these words, you achieve once again that the other person Not only does she doubt herself, but she also believes that her behavior or way of being is harmful to others.

6. “You’re stressed, you’re not thinking clearly.”

Another objective of gaslighter It is breaking down your mental strengths. It will make you believe that you are not okay, that you care about nothing, that you are acting out of control, that everything you say and do is meaningless. If you demand respect or if you demand something you need, they will tell you that you are stressed, that you are not thinking clearly.…

7. “You need to learn to communicate better.”

The phrases gaslighting To make you question your reality, they trace that type of manipulation that undermines any personal area. Making you doubt your social skills, your strengths and even your knowledge is common. They will tell you that you communicate poorly, that they cannot understand and that it is increasingly difficult to talk to you.

8. “Can’t you take a joke?”

The psychological manipulator’s jokes, far from being funny, cause deep wounds. They will make use of the irony that stings, the sarcasm that hurts and those comments that, far from awakening smiles, sink self-esteem.

9. “You are the only person I have these problems with.”

“It is clear that something is wrong with you, because what I experience with you does not happen to me with anyone… “. If someone gives us this type of reasoning, we must be clear: they are making us gaslight. What they seek with this is to overthrow all our temperances and make us believe that we have a problem that we are not aware of.

To conclude, it is true that this type of psychological abuse resorts to many more dialectical engineerings. It is also true that some are so secretive that sometimes we do not see them coming at first. However, To notice this behavior, it is enough to simply monitor how certain people make us feel.

If they make us doubt ourselves and our worth more every day, it is best to distance ourselves.

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