8 Types of Decisions People Regret

Everyone knows the unpleasant feeling of regret over a wrong decision. But if the feeling of guilt over a chocolate consumed during the diet torments us for a few hours at most, choosing the wrong job or partner torments us for years. It’s impossible to always make the right choices, but you can try to make fewer mistakes. We must understand what exactly motivates us to make a wrong decision. Often it is someone else’s opinion, or fear, or our false goals.

we do awesome.club we present cases of wrong choices that seemed right but proved to be a failure. To make it clearer, we will give examples of famous films, in which the characters regret a wrong choice. Don’t repeat your mistakes.

When we try to do everything perfectly and just aspire to victory, big disappointments are inevitable. For example: an athlete who received a bronze medal is often more satisfied than the athlete who received a silver medal. The silver medalist is disappointed because he was very close to taking the gold. A bronze medalist is happy with third place: at least he took the podium. Furthermore, according to studies, gold medalists are less happy when their result is only slightly better than silver medalists and more so when they win by a significant margin. This phenomenon is described by psychologist William James: “We are faced with the paradox of a person who is very ashamed to become the second boxer or rower in the world, because he is capable of defeating the entire population of the world, except one person.”

An example of a destructive perfectionist in films is the heroine played by Natalie Portman in the thriller “Black Swan”. She was obsessed with dancing the part of the ballet Swan Lake, the Black Swan part, which was difficult for her. In the end, she achieved her goal and her last victory.

Don’t blame yourself for small mistakes. And in the process of moving towards a global goal, don’t forget to take advantage of small accomplishments.

It could be simple everyday decisions, for example missing a friend’s party because you were too lazy to get ready. And then see, with envy, the happy photos of your friends at that party on social media. And there can be serious mistakes, for example, selling inherited land for just a few bucks (“There’s no way I’m going to live in the countryside!”), only to understand, a few years later, that in reality, his dream was to get away from the hustle and bustle of the city .

To understand the importance of paying attention to your true needs and those of your loved ones before making a radical decision, watch the movie “Running Road”. The protagonist, Frank, lived clinging to his usual way of life and did not listen to his wife, who had seen new opportunities for her family in Paris. As a result, Frank lost his beloved and could not bring her back.

Psychologists believe that, in part, remorse is helpful: it helps us understand each other better, and it hints at what might make us happy. You must determine what would be the best way to proceed next time in a similar situation to avoid painful regrets in the future.

Becoming a doctor because he was born into a family of doctors, although he never liked medicine. Wasting five years getting an education we don’t need because our parents dream of a child with a specialist degree. This position is partly convenient: there is no need to take responsibility. And yet, living under the desires of someone else’s mind is not the best solution. 🇧🇷By adjusting to other people’s opinions, we repress our own ‘I’ and give neither ourselves nor others the opportunity to really know ourselves”warns psychologist Ashley Greer.

A sad example of this behavior is the teenager Danny in the movie “The Other American Story”. He looks up to his intrepid older brother, Derek, a neo-Nazi, and tries to emulate him. One day, Derek changes his beliefs and tries to bring his little brother back to reality, but it’s too late.

A topic related tip: before succumbing to the persuasion of a persistent seller in a store, for example, assess whether you really need to make the purchase or you simply find it difficult to resist someone else’s influence. It’s your decision.

It’s nice to suddenly leave for an unplanned trip, or call a great aunt on any day instead of a festive day. But some spontaneous decisions are insidious: they may lead to a momentary benefit, but in the end end up regretting them very much🇧🇷 For example, getting drunk and calling your ex is not the best idea. Or going to a club, even if you have to wake up early and then suffer hangover headaches all day at work.

And there are also spontaneous and wrong decisions that ruined entire lives. A clear example of this is the movie “One Night Only”. A couple spontaneously betrays each other, but this only brings great remorse and the sad realization that marriage will never be the same again.

For those who know that they are impulsive, psychologists advise determining in which situations they are more likely to take rash actions. That way, it’s easier to know when you need to control yourself more tightly. This text can also help in the fight against excessive impulsiveness.

Often, we drown out the voice of our conscience. We pass by a person lying on the floor (“It’s his fault, he’s certainly drunk”), we say nothing to the parents who yell at their child. We look for an excuse: “If nobody says anything, I’m not going to say it”, “In my place, anyone would have done the same”, but even so, the feeling of guilt torments us inside.

“A society that is ignorant of guilt would be the most heartless and dangerous society in the world,” says emotional psychology researcher Carroll Izard.

Sometimes people ignore their conscience to gain a benefit, and sometimes they are even willing to betray. One of the cinema examples of this type of greedy characters is the protagonist of the movie “Devil’s Advocate”. Kevin masterfully defends the worst kind of shameless in court. In the end, he understands the dire consequences of his career for money and fame, but he has a magical opportunity to fix it all by transforming himself into the most honest lawyer. But in real life, there may not be a second chance. In order not to regret what was done, it is enough to think about the consequences of your decisions for other people and what your conscience will say if you do it.

“You will see, you will meet me!” Sometimes the wounded ego causes us to try very hard to show others that they were wrong with us. We are all familiar with examples of this type of behavior: a teenager tries to gain authority in his environment through brazen and aggressive behavior. cool🇧🇷 an abandoned and offended woman does everything possible to make her ex-boyfriend regret leaving her.

When demonstrating something to other people, we put a lot of effort into creating an ideal image that may not match reality. It is better to spend such forces on what we really need, to fulfill our own desires, and not those of others, psychologists advise. While we try to prove something to other people, we practically live for these people. Therefore, you just need to prove your own worth to yourself.

A good lesson in this is provided by the character of Julia Roberts in the movie “My Best Friend’s Wedding”. Julianne struggles to convince her lover that she is much better than her new partner. But in doing so, it only causes pain. Thankfully, in the end, she had the wisdom to let him go and start living her own life.

Staying in a job you hate out of fear of not finding anything better, getting stuck in a toxic relationship out of fear of loneliness, withdrawing from competition out of fear of losing… When denying yourself new possibilities, think: you really don’t want to or did your fear decide for you to say “no”?

Remember Daisy, in the book (and movie) “The Great Gatsby”, who didn’t dare go against her parents’ wishes and marry a man she didn’t love. When she again has the opportunity to find love, she continues to choose an unhappy life, but to which she was used, for fear of losing her position. Daisy’s fate is unenviable, although she is rich.

Psychotherapist Joseph Burgo explains in his article how to overcome the fears that impede individual evolution. Don’t be afraid to change something and don’t wait for the right moment to do it. It may never arrive. Don’t waste time in vain, start taking small steps towards the desired changes today.

It’s good to enjoy the moment, but it’s also important to think about the future and learn to plan for it. Uncontrolled carefree are ideal at parties, but often their daily life is not organized. Constant changes of work, debts, lack of reliable partners … One day, these people will be surprised to notice that all their acquaintances have matured and are moving forward, while they are stuck at one point.

Psychologists call the denial of growing up the “Peter Pan syndrome”. Typical signs are irresponsibility, non-recognition of one’s mistakes, demand for love but the inability to give it, emotions that are too strong.

Irresponsible behavior under the slogan “You only live once!” it is shown a lot in youth comedies. For example, the movie “Project X: A Party Out of Control” tells the story of a teenager who throws a big party at his parents’ house, inviting the entire neighborhood. Naturally, the aftermath of the party was the most deplorable, even though it turned the boys into local stars. It is a pity that, in adulthood, throwing a party is not enough to become a respected person.

The famous journalist Susy Welch in her book “10 Minutes, 10 Months, 10 Years” describes the simple 10-10-10 rule that will help you make a difficult decision.

Ask yourself three questions:

What will you think of that decision 10 minutes after you make it? What will you think of that decision 10 months after you make it? How will you react to this in 10 years?

This technique will show the long-term consequences of your choice; only then will your decision be conscious.