7 tips to recover a friendship in crisis

Relationships, like bones, also break. However, there are always links that matter more to you than others. And, if there is something you want, it is to avoid that definitive fracture. To recover a friendship in crisis, for example, it is advisable to give yourself time to reflect on what happened. Only then can you heal the connection and repair it with the right nutrients.

Breaking ties with a friend can hurt as much or more than letting a partner go. In this way, if you really want to save this relationship, you have to make an effort, use empathetic communication to put criticism and resentment aside. The journey of life becomes much more enriching with these presences at your side, therefore, we explain what resources will be your allies.

Keys to recovering a friendship in crisis

Cicero​, the famous Roman philosopher, writer and orator, wrote a wonderful essay titled About friendship in the year 44 BC. C. In that work he said the following: “All I can do is urge you to put friendship before any other concern.” Few spheres are more decisive for human beings than these ties; Preserving them is an essential task for your well-being.

Thus, When it comes to recovering a friendship in crisis, it is important to remember the value that person has for you. As long as the bond is healthy, authentic and decisive, invest all your emotional resources in healing it. Such craftsmanship, moreover, must be reciprocal. The other figure must also add wills. We describe how to act.

1. Reflect on the situation

Avoid responding on autopilot. It is obvious that those problems that distance you make you want to do whatever it takes to repair what is broken. But to heal a relationship, it is necessary to first reflect on what led to that point. Every crisis requires applying a reflective, analytical and prudent approach when acting. Take note of some strategies:

Assess what could have gone wrong in their communication style. Analyze the factors that led to this situation. Reflect on whether affection, affection and trust are still present. Understand your emotions and also put yourself in the shoes of your friendship. Think about what steps would be the most appropriate ones to carry out from this moment.

2. Demonstrate willingness to repair

Robin Dunbar ​​is a renowned anthropologist, psychologist and biologist who is an expert in interpersonal relationships. In one of his studies, published in Trends in Cognitive Sciences, he remembers the importance of friendship for your well-being and happiness. But he adds a detail: maintaining these ties is costly and requires investing numerous cognitive and emotional efforts.

In this way, when it comes to recovering a friendship in crisis, it is necessary to put in the will. It is not enough to meet for a coffee and “talk about our things.” You have to show interest, empathy and sincere concern to bridge bridges. In this sense, it will be very useful for you to apply the following tools:

Express what you feel when you perceive that your friendship is in crisis. Avoid WhatsApp messages and ask for a face-to-face meeting. Explain that you want to repair what happened and learn from what has happened. Make it clear to the other person that you will invest efforts in save that bond. Try, in turn, to honestly detail what that relationship means to you.

3. Find solutions through good communication

If you and that friend have been life allies for many years, it is very likely that good communication is their strong point. Take advantage of it. The ideal is to start a dialogue that avoids focusing on blame and seeks solutions. To this end, it is essential to put into practice some keys to emotional intelligence and conflict resolution:

Practice empathy: Try to put yourself in your friend’s shoes and understand their emotions, needs and points of view. You can say something like, “I understand this must be difficult for you, too.”Express emotions honestly: Share your own emotions openly and honestly. Use “I” instead of “you” to avoid blaming your friendship. Allow the other person to do the same.Listen actively: When you communicate with your friend, be sensitive to what they say and listen empathetically. Pay attention to their words and body language to understand their emotions and perspectives.Analyze what has happened: what brought us here? What were we wrong about? What needs did we not adequately address? Reflecting together on the situation, without attributing blame or showing resentment, is essential to recover a friendship in crisis.Find joint solutions: Instead of focusing on pointing out errors, you have to work as a team to propose changes, improvements and solutions to the problem. Ask him what ideas he has and offer yours constructively. Every true friendship requires investing effort to save it.

4. Apologize if necessary

Forgiveness repairs, oxygenates, heals and is that emotional alloy capable of recovering a friendship in crisis. It is always appropriate to assess whether, in light of what happened, saying “I’m sorry” out loud would be the most necessary strategy. Doing so costs nothing, frees up weight and opens a space to give way to a new, more authentic stage.

A publication in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships delves into the relevance of this area among friends. One aspect that they clarify is that, often, the lack of this cognitive-evaluative forgiveness encapsulates the discomforts. Therefore, as much as possible, exercise it.

If you feel disconnected from a friend, tell them. If you notice some distance, coldness, or problems in communication, express what you feel and let that person know that you want to find ways to regain connection and trust.

5. Show gratitude and cooperation

When it comes to caring for, nurturing and repairing a bond, small gestures of gratitude have great power. Try to express to that person how grateful you are to have them in your life. Remind him of events from the past that are valuable to you and the need to continue creating magical moments. Cooperates, shows willingness to help, and shows interest in their daily life.

A work published in BMC Neuroscience illustrates how prosocial behavior or even offering gifts strengthens interpersonal ties. In this sense, you don’t need to give that friend an expensive material detail. Absolutely. Sometimes something as simple as a book or dinner is healing.

6. Add more positivity and interest to the relationship

A chapter of the book The psychology of friendship explains how to maintain lasting friendships. Sometimesone of the causes of this crisis is due to not addressing the behaviors that reinforce the bond. They are daily acts with which to add greater presence, interest and concern for the well-being of that figure. We describe some guidelines:

Promote positivity in the friendship relationship. Make that friend see that he/she is valuable and someone special. Show that you are interested and care about him/her every day. Validate, use positive language, congratulate him/her for his/her achievements and make him/her laugh. Propose motivating activities to do together and regain complicity.

7. Give time to the process

Before finishing the list of these keys to recover that friend you appreciate, there is one aspect that is good to remember. Reconciliation does not happen overnight. It may take some time to rebuild trust, heal emotional wounds, ease misunderstandings. Be patient and demonstrate your continued commitment to the friendship.

The art of healing a broken friendship

Repairing what is broken requires threading the thread of emotional intelligence and willpower. However, in this effort it is not only your dedication that is worth it; Such a task is for two and the energies must be joint. Therefore, sometimes, You may find yourself in the situation where a friendship in crisis cannot be repaired. And he doesn’t do it because there is no interest. In these cases, you must accept reality.

This is a painful experience in which professional help may be necessary. However, If you perceive that there is still affection and reciprocal intentions to save the relationship, join forces. There are people for whom it is necessary to fight because they are those lighthouses that always bring light and warmth to your existence.

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