7 rules for communicating with a manipulator

The way a manipulator acts can lead us to act according to their desires, even without realizing it, becoming victims of our own lives and without truly feeling free.

Sometimes these relationships extend for years. But with the help of the advice and safety laws offered by the coach, Preston Ni, an expert in communication strategies, it is possible to distance ourselves from those subjects who cause us gratuitous harm and avoid falling into harmful dynamics.

1. Know your inalienable rights

People who try to control us, as if we were a puppet, tend to violate our limits repeatedly. Therefore, one of the main rules that Preston Ni proposes to communicate effectively with a manipulator is to be aware of our human rights.

All people share a series of fundamental rights for human dignity and individual freedom, which are protected by laws and ethical standards.

Remember that you have the right to:

Be respected For other people.Express your emotionsopinions and desires. Establish your priorities.Say no” without feeling guilty. Receive what you have paid or worked for.Express your points of view, even if they do not coincide with those of others.Protect you from threats physical, moral and emotional. Build your life according to your own concept of happiness

2. Keep distance from the handler

Once you have identified his manipulative personality, It is best to keep your distance or be cautious when interacting with him or her. It is essential to keep in mind that this type of individuals usually show a wide range of alternating behaviors, ranging from courtesy and kindness, to more aggressive and cunning attitudes.

The manipulator can adopt a victim attitude and make you believe that you are responsible for their problems. In this way, they seek to generate a feeling of debt in you and obtain favors for their benefit.

3. Ask probing questions

He or she will seek to take you in their hands and exert control over you, making you feel weak and helpless.

Ask him some probing questions to find out if he has some self-criticism about his actions and/or the ability to feel shame about inappropriate behavior, characteristics that generally They are not found in a manipulative person.

For example:

“Do you think what you’re asking of me is fair?”“Can I have my own opinion on this?”“Are you asking me or are you stating it?”“What do I get in return?”«Do you really think that I….»

4. Don’t rush to respond

It is in the manipulator’s interest that you react instantly in certain situations, so as not to give yourself time to reflect and decide awareness how you want to respond. This makes it easier for him to manipulate you.

Therefore, it is important that you do not fall into their game. When you feel pressured, take a breath and try to express confidence. To have control of the situation, you can say “I’ll think about it”, “give me a moment” or just remain silent until you have a clear answer.

Remember that Their intention is to unbalance your emotions to gain advantageso staying calm and setting boundaries will strengthen your position.

5. Learn to say «No» to the manipulator

Knowing how to say no allows you to set your limits and respect yourself, and consequently, your environment does the same. It’s not about adopting a negative attitude for no reason, but about avoiding being taken advantage of. How many times have we said “yes” when we meant the opposite?

A clear and firm boundary is essential to protect yourself from a manipulator.

6. Share the possible consequences

Let him know the effects of his actions. The ability to anticipate and state with conviction the possible results of your behaviors is one of the most effective methods to communicate effectively with a manipulator.

This way you will force him to change his attitude towards you, by making his plan evident and thus taking away his power.

7. Defend yourself from their ridicule

Keep in mind that he will seek to cause you suffering through offenses, ridicule or insults, by attacking your emotional weak points. It will give special emphasis to your Achilles heel, to hurt you directly.

If you remain passive, you will be an easy target. Now, the moment you face him and defend yourself with height , will begin to withdraw. On the other hand, the use of humor is also a good technique to apply. Thus, you will be neutralizing the message and making it lose all its power.

If necessary, seek professional help

Relating to narcissistic, manipulative and conflictive people can be very overwhelming. Bonding with individuals like this has a direct effect on our self-esteem. Therefore, it is easy to get carried away by their networks and feel trapped in a cycle of discomfort with no escape.

For this reason, if even applying the advice provided by Preston Ni, you cannot handle the situation, consider asking a mental health professional for help. He will give you specific tools to set healthy boundaries and learn to detect and confront manipulation.

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