7 reasons why they don’t take you into account

We all want to be loved and accepted. Sometimes we take the wrong path to achieve it. If they don’t take you into account, perhaps you didn’t choose well the weight to give to the opinions of others. Here we show you an alternative path.

Sometimes, it’s good to stop and ask yourself why others ignore your ideas, your feelings, and even your presence.. You feel like they make you invisible and you don’t understand the reason why they don’t take you into account, when you are always attentive to others (or at least that’s the feeling you have).

It is very common that If you are used to others overlooking you, there will come a time when you don’t see a problem to this. You think that if others do not take you into account it is simply because you define yourself as someone with a low profile, or you do not like to appear or make others uncomfortable.

In reality, this does not have to be this way. All human beings deserve respect and recognition and you are no exception. What you think, what you feel and what you want is as valuable as what others think, feel and want. If you are interested in knowing the reasons why they do not take you into account, reflect on the following points.

“If you want to live happily, don’t care if they think you’re stupid.”.

-Seneca-

1. You make unnecessary sacrifices for others

It is not true that you should think in others before yourself; At least it’s not from a mental health point of view.. Thinking about yourself first is not selfishness, but healthy logic. Sacrificing yourself for others unnecessarily carries an implicit message: others are more important than you.

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Why do you think that on airplanes, when giving instructions on how to act in an emergency, they point out that in case of depressurization You must first put on the oxygen mask and then put it on children or people who need assistance? Think about it.

2. Dependence on approval

There are a whole series of implicit and unconscious mechanisms through which a person conveys the idea that he vividly needs the approval of others. If you need others to approve you It’s because you need information that reinforces the feeling that you have value.

Generally, dependence on approval generates a feeling of rejection in others. You are sending a negative message about yourself. By not trusting you, why should others trust you? what are you in? If you invalidate yourself, it is easier for others to do the same.

3. You look for errors only in yourself

You may, without realizing it, end up feeling responsible for everything that happens around you. When something bad happens, you automatically feel guilty, without knowing why. The bad news is that others, also without being very aware of it, will end up thinking the same thing.

On many occasions, no one will thank you for being willing to take on tasks that do not correspond to you. Quite the opposite. You will end up becoming a scapegoat on many occasions.. Better never think about who is “to blame”; rather, focus on how to fix things.

4. Self-praise, a reason why they don’t take you into account

Perhaps, the fact that your achievements transcend on a level that is not very visible to others lead you to praise yourself frequently. Talk about your virtues, or your achievements, or how much you do for others.

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This is just another way to show how much you depend on outside opinion.. The only person you have to convince is yourself. What is really important is that you know how valuable you are and how much you contribute. What others think is secondary.

5. You don’t know how to define limits

It is possible that in situations where you feel that they have been unfair to you, you decide to forgive, even without being asked. It seems to you that forgiveness is less emotionally costly than confronting the other about their offense..

One way or another, you end up justifying those who offend you.. You forget that everything has a limit and that you must mark your ground. This may make more demands on you in the short term, but it will prevent you from continuing to be the target of offenses and attacks in the long term.

6. You think that respect is relative

All human beings deserve respect. It doesn’t matter if you are tall or short, ugly or pretty, smart or scattered, rich or poor, black or white. However, You may feel that you should only be respected if you are able to contribute something, to give something, to do something for someone.

It is a mistake to think that you must do something to earn the respect of others. Just because you are human, you deserve respect.. Animals and plants deserve it too. No one has the right to step on you, even if you make mistakes or do something inappropriate.

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7. You have problems with self-respect

When you feel that they don’t take you into account and you get used to it, you also lose track of what aggression means.. In other words, it is more difficult for you to be able to identify aggression. It seems to you that it is normal and that you should put up with it.

You may not have thought enough about how others treat you. It is also possible that you are not clear about the effect of abuse on your life.. Maybe it’s time for you to think about it in more detail.

Many times they do not take you into account, unfairly, because deep down you have a negative opinion of yourself.. But you want to be good with others and you would like to be more important to others. What simply happens is that you are wrong in the strategy to achieve it.