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7 Big Mistakes in Parenting That End Up Turning Children into Dictators of the House

In recent years, the parameters for raising a child have risen to an almost unattainable level. Suddenly, it seems that it has become essential that from birth onwards, the baby needs fashionable clothes, various developmental items, modern electronic gadgets and visits to places of entertainment. Many of us fall prey to these tendencies and begin to do everything possible to become “model” parents. But psychologists are already sending out “alarm signals”, and they don’t lack arguments to claim that some attitudes make children feel almost the masters of the world, while deep down in their souls they remain unhappy and unsure of themselves.

O awesome.club wondered what kinds of arguments were firmly embedded in the heads of modern parents and whether this current wave of information is correct. Thus, we were able to identify the tenets of these beliefs.

1. “Is the child bored? So that means we are bad parents.”

What’s up: while the child is awake, we try to fill every second of his time with games and entertainment. The son or daughter enters an artificial world, where their life revolves only around funny “animators”, represented by parents or grandparents. Another option could be to move to the virtual universe, to the habitat of cartoon characters or computer games.

What to do: remember that boredom is one of the necessary emotional development factors. Moreover, it is at this moment that children’s fantasy begins to “work”. From time to time, allow your child to be “doing nothing” and you will see that he can complete his free time alone, finding ways to have fun.

2. “We’ll solve your problems right now, but don’t cry”

What’s up: all the child’s requests are fulfilled with frightening speed. Does she want to eat an ice cream? Let’s go buy now. Is she tired of her toy car? Today we are going to buy something new. Does she have anything to do during the trip? She can take her dad and mom’s cell phone and play until the battery runs out.

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What to do: Psychologists claim that the ability to postpone children’s huge wish list is good training for coping with stressful situations that they will experience in the future. From an early age, it is necessary to teach that things are not always the way we want or expect, and children who learn this and do not throw tantrums when they cannot have a new toy, or when something does not go as they want, will be much older adults. conformed when something
goes wrong in their lives.

3. “But he’s just kidding, it doesn’t matter”

What’s happening: it seems that more and more we are adopting the behavior of that grandmother, protagonist of the following joke: “Joãozinho, don’t even think about hitting the boy’s head with that shovel, you might fall”. It seems that many parents are hardly concerned with the fact that their children do not know how to play or “come to terms” with other children, are rude to adults or that they cruelly “play” with animals, using the classic phrase ” But they are children, what can we do?”.

What to do: In fact, the child perfectly understands what he is doing. And if, even when you do something wrong, you feel the invisible support of your parents, you will sincerely believe that everything you do wrong is part of the natural order of things. Therefore, education for them to behave well in society is exactly what parents should focus on, from a very early age. The most correct thing is to correctly teach children to show empathy for the weakest; that they don’t feel offended when they lose; come to an agreement in a team game; to say “thank you” and “please”; and be kind to everyone, without distinction and without prejudice. Furthermore, treating animals well is another essential factor in becoming good human beings.

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4. “Are you wearing a coat? Let’s do a video call, I want to see”

What’s up: our children grow up in an atmosphere of total control. For this reason, the term “helicopter parents” even appeared, an analogy with those parents who always “fly over” their child. This approach completely kills a child’s aspiration for independence. It is easier for her to hide behind her parents’ backs, as she knows they will always check that all her books are in her backpack, that she has not forgotten her clothes for gym class, and that she has all her responsibilities up to date.

What to do: allow your son or daughter to make decisions more often, always explaining that every action has its consequences. If you don’t bring clothes to physical education classes, you won’t participate. But if you spend the entire afternoon alone preparing for a biology project, you will acquire new knowledge and get a good grade.

5. “It’s still too small for certain tasks”

What’s up: When trying to create a perfect childhood for their children, parents are afraid to overwhelm them with household chores, so they allow them to do whatever they want. The sad result of this educational approach can be a problem in life, starting with your school, where teachers will forbid you to play with your favorite tablet and, in return, will demand discipline and insist on tasks that are not always interesting. Also, it goes without saying that she will see her mother as her “cleaner” and her father as an “ATM” in these cases.

What to do: remember the existence of the phrase “it is necessary” and gradually involve the child in household chores. Even a three-year-old is able to carefully hang her clothes, or put away her toys. Such help around the house and “monotonous” work, like washing dishes, are excellent training for performing boring, but obligatory tasks in school and in life. In addition, this will allow the child to maintain his work routine when he reaches adulthood.

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6. “My son doesn’t like vegetables, hates dressing himself and goes to bed whenever he wants”

What’s up: with great frequency this is considered by many parents as a “cute” characteristic of the child, his personality, the peculiarity that differentiates him from the others. He’s like that, what else can we do? As a result, the child literally begins to dictate to his parents how they should behave and becomes a little tyrant at home.

What to do: it is necessary to think what is really good for children, because one day they will thank you. Without a strict daily routine, any child will be irritable and will not have a clear perception of reality. Without proper nutrition and necessary walks, she will acquire health problems, excess weight and many complexes.

7. “Sure, we’ll buy you a new toy. I can still keep wearing my old jacket.”

What’s Happening: Many modern families have the well-being of their children as their sole purpose and objective. Therefore, all the attention of adults is focused exclusively on the child. His life is literally divided into hours: school, extracurricular activities, guided activities, classes with private teachers… Parents spare no time or money to meet their children’s growing demands. At the same time, your own needs are gradually postponed for later.

What to do: it is not right to let go of your desires. It is important for children to understand that the whole world does not just revolve around them. In the future, this will help them build mature relationships with others.

Did you recognize yourself in any of these situations? Are you willing to share your own thoughts on parenting?

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