You’ve been a long time – an hour? two hours? three hours? – juggling during intercourse. Your partner has already reached orgasm and has already recovered.
Or is it not so much that you are “in action”, but this action is so disheartened that you would like to put an end to this boredom soon?
Who knows, sex is even pleasurable and your partner is trying hard, but for some reason you can’t fully relax and you’re not getting there.
Whatever the reason, faking an orgasm can seem like a good way to end a dull sexual relationship or to not let down a devoted partner.
It may be that the lie works at first, but if it becomes a habit, you will be at a huge disadvantage – and so will your partner. Here are some consequences of this practice:
1. You are missing out on the health benefits
Orgasm triggers the release of several well-being neurotransmitters, such as dopamine, endorphins and oxytocin.
These substances are capable of improving sleep, relieving pain, decreasing anxiety, strengthening the immune system and favoring concentration. By faking an orgasm, you miss out on all these benefits.
2. Faking an orgasm harms everyone’s sex
Even more so if you decide to fake it because your partner is bad in bed! As you may know, many men “learn” the workings of the female body through pornographic videos – that is, endless penetration and two seconds of clitoral stimulation.
Faking an orgasm because your partner is bossing you around really reinforces this idea. If he’s your steady partner, you’re going to suffer from bad sex. If it’s a casual partner, other women will have the same problem. In other words, general frustration!
3. Your partner will keep doing it wrong
When we reach true orgasm, we are signaling to our partner what types of stimulation really give us pleasure. Partners who are connected are able to pick up on these signals and increasingly understand each other’s bodies.
However, by faking an orgasm, your partner will get the wrong message and will keep repeating actions that don’t result in real pleasure for you. After all, he thinks it works!
4. Pretending is dishonest
If it’s just a one-night stand, we even understand. However, if you are faking orgasm with your steady partner, with whom you have an affective relationship, this can be a dishonest attitude.
Think about it the other way around: your partner may even have the best of intentions and fake an orgasm so as not to hurt you, but you would probably feel cheated if you found out after months (or years!) that all those pleasure reactions were fake.
5. Sex becomes an obligation
Biologically speaking, orgasm is a mechanism that motivates us to want to have sex again. When not reaching orgasm becomes a routine, sex becomes frustrating and you end up losing interest – that is, it becomes an obligation.
When you have orgasms with your partner, it means that you were relaxed, sexually present and connected with them. Without orgasm, you don’t have any of that.
6. You forget your own pleasure
When you fake an orgasm, you’re convincing yourself that your pleasure isn’t all that important. Well, know that he is! Don’t think that you’re “taking too long” (each person has their time) and that it’s better to let it go.
By faking an orgasm, you deprive yourself of the possibility of experiencing pleasure and deprive your partner of the opportunity to pleasure you. You may end up losing the intimacy and bond that orgasms create between a couple.
Of course, orgasm shouldn’t be a must in every sexual relationship, but simply giving up pleasure just to please your partner will not do you or the relationship any good. So, enough pretending!
With Knowledge Comes Wisdom
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