5 universal laws of attraction in a couple that you should know

We interact with many people throughout our lives, but only some end up being friends and very few end up being a couple. In many areas, such as philosophy or psychology, it has been studied what makes us choose one person and not another as a partner and currently there are a multitude of theories on the matter, some complementary and others even conflicting.

What is evident is that, In general, beauty concerns us and is something to which we give importance. In fact, the beauty industry, from cosmetics to cosmetic surgery, to fashion, moves a large amount of money. But beauty is a concern that has always existed, in fact, there are countless cultures in which they adorn their bodies with makeup, necklaces, tattoos or piercings.

“What many people call love consists of choosing a woman and marrying her. They choose her, I swear, I’ve seen them. As if you could choose in love, as if it weren’t a lightning bolt that breaks your bones and leaves you staked in the middle of the patio.”

-Julio Cortazar-

Charles Darwin in his book “The Descent of man, and selection in relation to sex”, addressed the issue of human beauty from a biological point of view. Based on comments from several British missionaries, he tried to find patterns of beauty common to all humans and ended up concluding that they did not exist.

However, subsequent studies have shown that people of different cultures, social classes, ages and races share the same aesthetic sense of human beauty. But, Is beauty the only criterion for choosing a partner?

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How do we choose a partner?

There is a belief that women value the resources that a man can provide when choosing a partner and men value beauty. This is due, according to classical evolutionary biology, to the fact that men seek fertility and the ability to reproduce and women seek to have children and be able to feed the family.

But that belief has changed. Marcel Zentner from the University of Innsbruck conducted a study in very different countries such as Iran, Saudi Arabia, Japan, Finland, Sweden and England, and came to the conclusion that In those countries where equality between both sexes is greater, people’s criteria when choosing a partner tend to be similar.. Therefore, the evolution that a society has had has an influence.

“That is why we will never be the perfect couple, the postcard, if we are not able to accept that only in arithmetic does two come from one plus one.”

-Julio Cortazar-

On the other hand also There is a theory that DNA conditions our decisions when choosing a partner. Neil Rish of the University of California studied the effects of the family tree on mate choice in Mexican and Puerto Rican individuals. DNA analyzes reveal that current couples share ancestors and previous generations had also followed the same genetic impulse.

The laws of attraction

Professor Noam Shpancer, a professor at Otterbein University, argues that There are a series of laws of attraction that are the basis for our choice of partner, that have been widely studied and are accepted by the majority of psychologists. The laws are the following:

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Law of familiarity. This law maintains that frequent contact with a person generates affection and makes it more possible for us to fall in love with them. The more time we spend with a person, the more likely we are to like them. It’s also true that the more time we spend with someone the more likely we are to become angry, but Shpancer maintains that this is just the exception that proves the rule.Law of physical traction. Although we spend a lot of time with We will not like a person if we do not find them attractive. Therefore, the physical influences and decisively. In principle, no one is willing to share their life with another person they are not physically attracted to.

Law of personality. Researchers have found two personality traits that make a person especially attractive: competence and warmth. Competence refers to a person’s level of intelligence and social skills, and warmth means the ability to be close and affectionate.Law of proximity. We all know that distance in a relationship is quite complicated and that in the long run if the couple does not come together soon, the relationship will fail. For that reason, The usual thing is that we choose as a partner someone we are close towhom we can see frequently and forge a relationship.Law of similarity. According to various studies, we are attracted to people who are like us. We tend to look for couples with whom we share hobbies, values and concerns. If we can choose between several people, We prefer someone who has things in common with uscompared to a person who is very different.