5 tests of maturity that love needs

In love, as in other facets, we also grow. They are the experiences, our own and those of others, that we take note of. In fact, if we look back ourselves, we are sure to be able to identify different aspects that we have changed in our way of loving, regardless of whether we now have a relationship for more or less time or even if we do not have one at all.

In this article we are going to talk about five aspects that are quite common in this learning. There are teenagers who have already learned them all, on the contrary there are people who are almost sixty and who have not yet taken that step. In one way or another, the reflection that we propose in this article speaks of some mistakes that some people make as a couple and that in the long run become the real saboteurs of their relationships.

The need for control is a poison for love

An immature person in a relationship has the urgent need to control the other person.. He thinks that the person with whom he shares a relationship is somehow his and he watches them with the same logic that he would watch a bicycle if he left it on the street. This need for control is closely linked to time, since the partner tries to occupy all the free time the other has: this is another form of control.

The mature person knows that this control is a totally unproductive source of anxiety.. If the other has to end up leaving, he will do it in the same way and if he has to stay, he will be clear that it is out of love and not for fear of crossing the barrier that the other guards.

Communication is the air that love breathes

An immature person has not yet understood how important communication is in their relationship.. Hence he does not pay any attention to her and expresses her ideas in words, as they appear in her head. The opposite can also happen, and instead of using it without a filter, put one so strong that nothing happens.

On the contrary, the mature person understands that Communication requires patience and a large dose of intelligence. Know, for example, that the proposal is much better than the criticism or that the denial is much less likely to cause a conflict if it is accompanied by a range of alternatives.

Forgiveness, revenge and resentment

Immature people forgive but do not forget. They have their list of grievances ready in case there is ever an argument and they have to pull out their nails. On the other hand, this list of grievances is usually endless, since they are very sensitive to the behavior of others, so that any slightest touch causes them a lot of emotional pain.

The person who has reached maturity resolves conflicts. He understands that wounds take time, but that this time is of no use if they do not dedicate part of it to resolving the conflict. She stops making any list of affronts because she knows that the only consequence of it is pain and destruction, both for herself and for her partner.

Time and affection cannot be missing in love

Immature people give gifts to receive them.. On the other hand, a detail rarely seems sufficient or meets their expectations. Furthermore, they need the other’s constant attention and harbor in their internal forum the hope that the other is able to read their minds. Something that is humanly impossible. They prefer a material gesture to a hug, because they measure the value of these gestures by the economic cost they attribute to them. A hug for them is worth very little.

Mature people give gifts to see each other’s faces.. For them, the best moment is to hand them what they have made or bought and see the other’s face. Furthermore, they show immense joy in any gesture that the other makes them, because they focus on what is there and not on what may be missing. Finally, what they value most are gestures of affection because through them they enjoy love like children.

Intimacy, in love, is more than desire

The immature person is only attracted to the other person’s physique.. He understands that sex is where everything begins and where everything ends. Thus, if the couple does not work in this sense, they consider that the crisis is deep, at least much more so than if the couple had not spoken for more than two minutes at a time for a week in a row.

Mature people understand that desire is just another part of the relationship and that it communicates with the rest of the facets.. This means that all of them complement each other and that all of them can even improve all of them. For them, where everything begins and ends is in intimacy, where sex lives, but also trust or vulnerability (understood in a positive sense).

Finely, for immature people the goal with their partner is not to suffer, to be well. For mature people, the goal with their partners is to grow and enjoy. Continue betting on the common project in which you are embarked in the way we have already said. And your partner, which of the two poles are you in?

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