5 steps to overcome shyness

Your shyness limits you and that is affecting you. Here we are going to explain the reason for shyness and what to do about it.

Shyness involves feeling a little scared when people are around, especially if the people are strangers. It is something that can happen to all of us, although it happens to some very frequently and they feel uncomfortable when they are with people they do not trust or in large groups. Overcome shyness It is a key element in our personal, emotional and social development.

“Shyness is a condition foreign to the heart, a category, a dimension that leads to loneliness.”

-Pablo Neruda-

But you have to be aware of something important: Being shy does not have to imply any kind of problem or illness, nor does it imply social phobia or anything like that. In fact, many shy people want to be able to overcome their shyness.

That This is what we are going to talk about here, how to overcome shyness in five easy steps. It takes willpower, perseverance and, above all, not letting yourself be overcome by discouragement. Sooner or later, this shyness will be overcome.

What steps can you take to overcome shyness?

It won’t happen overnight, but little by little you could overcome shyness with these steps that will make you leave your comfort zone

1. To overcome shyness, focus on the outside

Shyness causes self-absorption

For overcome shyness you need to get rid of this self-centered thinking. Besides, You have to forget about “I can’t” and focus on what’s happening outside.. The best conversationalist is not always the one who talks the most, but the one who listens best and asks the right questions.

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Are you ashamed to speak? Well, let the others talk! Start a topic that is current or related to the moment, or, simply, give the other the opportunity to talk about themselves. In the words of E. Canetti (1982) “The most important thing is to talk to strangers. But you have to manage to get them to talk, and one’s role is to make them talk. When this is impossible, death has begun”.

2. Prepare what you are going to say or ask

It is not easy to start a conversation or improvise a question. If you usually feel those moments of shyness, you always have an ace – or several – up your sleeve. As you get practice starting a conversation, prepare some questions or conversation topics.

Remembering what people have said on previous occasions also helps to interact with people you have already seen. It is a good way to take a first step to overcome shyness.

“The most frequent cause of shyness is an excessive opinion of our own importance.”

-Samuel Johnson-

3. Send the right signals

But overcoming shyness is not just talking. Shy people are often seen as hostile and distant, and even unapproachable. That’s a question of attitude.

This way, People are much more likely to want to talk to you if you smile and appear friendly.. Don’t show signs of wanting to leave the conversation. Look at the person, pay attention to their gestures and words. This way, you will show interest in what he is saying. In fact, your interlocutor will value it.

“It is easier to get what you want with a smile than with the tip of the sword.”

-William Shakespeare-

4. Help others overcome shyness

This may seem silly, but it is not at all. But, how are you going to teach another to overcome something that you yourself are not capable of facing? From the outside it is much easier to observe what is happening and find a broader point of view.

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Helping another gives us the opportunity to get out of that self-absorption that we talked about at the beginning and discover that it is easier than it seems. Without wanting to, it is easy for us to find ourselves doing what we were talking about and that we were not able to apply due to a lack of naturalness or conviction.

5. Learn to manage anxiety

Shyness is a type of social anxiety. Relaxing and learning to trust yourself is essential to effectively handle the situation.

You can try different relaxation techniques until you find one that is easy for you to put into practice. They can be breathing techniques, visualization or repetition of positive thoughts. It is also effective to play sports.

In conclusion, we know that overcome shyness is not easy. However, there are many things you can do to achieve this goal. Nevertheless, It is clear that at first it will not be easy and you will have to “force yourself”. But, with several tries, things will come naturally to you.. Finally, and if despite everything, you feel incapable, you will have the option of psychological help.